I arrived at the Airport and was about to disembark the plane when I notice a co-worker who sat in the aisle next to me, middle seat (like me - mirrored image of where I was sitting) getting up to leave her aisle at the same time as me. I greeted her and let her in front of me, she was in the original Women's Leadership pilot program I was in in January 2006.
We are both arriving to Ottawa earlier than our meetings and departing on the same day (I believe). As I approached the baggage area I offered to introduce her to Louise and did so, leaving her as the baggage came out on the carousel. Curious that... the mirroring that come to mind when I am writing about bumping into her.
Louise and I had the opportunity to have dinner together tonight, it was really great to see her. Of course our conversations has sent my mind forward again. Just what am I creating, have I already created but not birthed and will I find meaningful for me to create upon my return.
I know I did not talk about my Reconnection Retreat at all. Also because I know I haven't fully laid it out there. I will do that this week during my stay in Ottawa/Gatineau.
I was born here, almost 32 years ago, yet this place seems very foreign to me (perhaps because I'm actually staying in Gatineau across the river from downtown Ottawa). Perhaps this is going to be another beginning for me, my birthplace, for the birth of new opportunities, perhaps a new path in my journey?
Why am I here? Well a few weeks ago at the President's Conference in Moncton I was invited to come here to participate in an Informal Conflict Management System Workshop along with some Union Colleagues and some Directors (and I would guess Labour Relations Officers) from my department.
Informal Conflict Management / Resolution... I know there is a huge reason why I am here and have been invited to this... it isn't about anything anyone knows about me, it is about how much I know I can offer TO this workshop, and how much I will gain FROM this workshop.
I am all about communicating, expressing your truth to another, allowing yourself to be heard and in turn hearing what another person has to or wants to say. Receiving that, releasing that, then engaging differently, as it is meaningful to you.
Yes, I have definitely manifested this trip, especially surrounding these conversations. I have no idea how it will unfold and I know I will leave Ottawa Airport on Thursday with new discoveries about myself, more clear on my voice and where I stand in my world.
That point where I stand... is a choice point, and by standing and engaging in choice constantly I will continue to emerge towards the future I create.
Amy has new space!! This has in turn created space for me and Exploring Our Potential Consulting... ideas are coming quickly and the possibilities are endless. Thank you Amy for inviting me to call you prior to my plane ride, I have space here to play with my creations.
Who knows what tomorrow is going to birth? I am looking forward to it... there is always more.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Able to connect yet the “Signal is Low”
I’m sitting at the Halifax International Airport right now waiting for my flight to Ottawa. I’ve been on the go for a few weeks now, away from home and very busy when I am home or in the office. I am tired (probably because I was up late with my Finance Colleagues last week).
I was physically and emotionally exhausted when I woke up on Saturday. I had big plans to do something with my kids while I was home as I was only going to be home one and a half days before this trip. When I woke up Saturday morning (at 6:15 a.m. thank you Sara) I knew I was exhausted. As I started to do my laundry, clean the house, plan for my in-laws arrival the day after I return home from Ottawa, I began to notice my emotional exhaustion. This is not what I wanted for my day home with the girls. I wanted to spend some quality time not cleaning or worrying about getting the house in order for company.
Mike’s Mom called and I overheard her ask Jessica what we were going to have for Thanksgiving Dinner… crap, now I have to plan that too. I know this is not something I “need to” do, but my culturally conditioned self is one of a gracious hostess, my mother taught me well (thank you mom :o) ), and there is a little part of me that feels it would be HORRIBLE if I wasn’t the hostess with the mostest. Ah, Swiss Chalet here I come!
So I began to worry, cry, get angry, frustrated… none of it having to do with Thanksgiving, Cleaning or anything of the sort. ALL having to do with my decision to clean, worry, be miserable instead of DOING WHAT I WANTED TO!
I was so exhausted I couldn’t see my choice in any of this. Mike was the invitation I needed. He asked what I needed to do, I told him I really wanted to do something with the kids and he stated the obvious… “So go then I will take care of things”. DUH, how simple was that. It was a huge relief to my body, mind and spirit just to hear those words and to say yes to myself.
It’s funny when you are at that point of exhaustion within yourself that you start to forget how easy it can be just to choose and make deacons according to what is meaningful for you. How easy it is to fall into the old patterns of needing to have a clean house for company etc… forgetting previous conversations with my Mother and Father in-law that they don’t care what the house looks like, they just want to see us and the kids.
Knowing what I know, yet allowing myself to come to a point where it made sense to make things difficult and seem impossible. Slipping into the victim stance, feeling I had no control, yet in that moment realizing yes, I CAN choose to do or not do, to say or not say, as I feel it. Remembering, designing the type of world I live in takes my moving forward, constantly consciously choosing, creating situations and accepting opportunities that are meaningful to me.
Taking time to recharge myself, on my own terms, everyday, not just when I am almost drained.
When I arrive at the airport in Ottawa I will be greeted by a dear friend. Dinner with her I’m sure is going to awaken something more in me I have been unconscious to.
Look out Louise, here I come!!!
Tonight I will get some uninterrupted sleep. Tomorrow is another day, there is always more!
I was physically and emotionally exhausted when I woke up on Saturday. I had big plans to do something with my kids while I was home as I was only going to be home one and a half days before this trip. When I woke up Saturday morning (at 6:15 a.m. thank you Sara) I knew I was exhausted. As I started to do my laundry, clean the house, plan for my in-laws arrival the day after I return home from Ottawa, I began to notice my emotional exhaustion. This is not what I wanted for my day home with the girls. I wanted to spend some quality time not cleaning or worrying about getting the house in order for company.
Mike’s Mom called and I overheard her ask Jessica what we were going to have for Thanksgiving Dinner… crap, now I have to plan that too. I know this is not something I “need to” do, but my culturally conditioned self is one of a gracious hostess, my mother taught me well (thank you mom :o) ), and there is a little part of me that feels it would be HORRIBLE if I wasn’t the hostess with the mostest. Ah, Swiss Chalet here I come!
So I began to worry, cry, get angry, frustrated… none of it having to do with Thanksgiving, Cleaning or anything of the sort. ALL having to do with my decision to clean, worry, be miserable instead of DOING WHAT I WANTED TO!
I was so exhausted I couldn’t see my choice in any of this. Mike was the invitation I needed. He asked what I needed to do, I told him I really wanted to do something with the kids and he stated the obvious… “So go then I will take care of things”. DUH, how simple was that. It was a huge relief to my body, mind and spirit just to hear those words and to say yes to myself.
It’s funny when you are at that point of exhaustion within yourself that you start to forget how easy it can be just to choose and make deacons according to what is meaningful for you. How easy it is to fall into the old patterns of needing to have a clean house for company etc… forgetting previous conversations with my Mother and Father in-law that they don’t care what the house looks like, they just want to see us and the kids.
Knowing what I know, yet allowing myself to come to a point where it made sense to make things difficult and seem impossible. Slipping into the victim stance, feeling I had no control, yet in that moment realizing yes, I CAN choose to do or not do, to say or not say, as I feel it. Remembering, designing the type of world I live in takes my moving forward, constantly consciously choosing, creating situations and accepting opportunities that are meaningful to me.
Taking time to recharge myself, on my own terms, everyday, not just when I am almost drained.
When I arrive at the airport in Ottawa I will be greeted by a dear friend. Dinner with her I’m sure is going to awaken something more in me I have been unconscious to.
Look out Louise, here I come!!!
Tonight I will get some uninterrupted sleep. Tomorrow is another day, there is always more!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Moonlight Reconnection
The embers are smoldering from tonight's campfire.
The moon rose eerily and orange this evening and it is so full and bright it casts a shadow on my page.
It's 12:45 a.m. I am sitting out in a lawn chair in my pyjama's towel wrapped around my recently washed hair. The air is warm, the moon is so amazing I can't possible go to sleep without coming out to bask in the moonlight.
Bathing in the moonlight, the Autumn Equinox just past. It is warm and clear. Save for the traffic in the distance there are night songs to be heard.
The embers crackle every now and then, the bats making noises during their moonlight dance. A duck is quacking on the ocean in front of me. The constant son of the crickets and slight sound of something in the water. I am fully awake, fully enlivened and at peace!
The moon is brilliant tonight like the sun during the day, Shadows are cast all around me.
I saw a heron twice today. This evening while doing all those card readings on keep drawing my attention to it... the Feminine. Connecting back and embracing Mother Earth. Celebrating all she has to offer and listening to her wisdom.
How quickly and easily it is to let these moments slip by. Moments like this, sitting solitaire in the moonlight.
A splash on the waters edge, grabbing my attention away from these words...
Moonscape... in its incomparable beauty, Oak Island in the Autumn Moon.
The moon rose eerily and orange this evening and it is so full and bright it casts a shadow on my page.
It's 12:45 a.m. I am sitting out in a lawn chair in my pyjama's towel wrapped around my recently washed hair. The air is warm, the moon is so amazing I can't possible go to sleep without coming out to bask in the moonlight.
Bathing in the moonlight, the Autumn Equinox just past. It is warm and clear. Save for the traffic in the distance there are night songs to be heard.
The embers crackle every now and then, the bats making noises during their moonlight dance. A duck is quacking on the ocean in front of me. The constant son of the crickets and slight sound of something in the water. I am fully awake, fully enlivened and at peace!
The moon is brilliant tonight like the sun during the day, Shadows are cast all around me.
I saw a heron twice today. This evening while doing all those card readings on keep drawing my attention to it... the Feminine. Connecting back and embracing Mother Earth. Celebrating all she has to offer and listening to her wisdom.
How quickly and easily it is to let these moments slip by. Moments like this, sitting solitaire in the moonlight.
A splash on the waters edge, grabbing my attention away from these words...
Moonscape... in its incomparable beauty, Oak Island in the Autumn Moon.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The godforce in Flow
I have had an interesting series of events in the past 10 days that have rejuvenated and refocused my intentions.
Last week at the union event in Moncton I remembered my deeply ingrained desire to make this world a better place, this is what first drew me towards becoming active in the union. Taking action in someway instead of sitting by and complaining about the injustices in the world. I spent much of my free time last week trying to figure out why I was there, in the end it was to renew my sense shaping the type of world I will see (see Blog Entry).
Mike & my girls picked me up from the train station and I was off right away to the ReDefining Education Family Retreat at Oceanstone. I was able to keep my girls with me for this workshop. What an amazing and magical weekend. Anne incorporated Huna into the children's program, there was alot of talk of connections with the elements (nature) and listening to you instincts.
Seeing an eleven year old sitting on the ocean's edge on a rock in a lotus position for 10 - 15 minutes listening to himself, seeing 3 - 4 year olds running out in the middle of a rainstorm to yell and dance in the rain, to seeing some 7 - 8 year old girls exploring the forest.
Sitting on the lush floor of the forest with all of the children, listening to the secrets that could be revealed to us. One child heard "rain" and it began to rain almost immediately afterwards. Playing tag on a grassy knoll overlooking the ocean. Exploring the beach and the gifts it had to offer. Teaching a sun salutation to a 4 year old who then helped me teach others, welcoming breath, welcoming the sun, embracing the elements.
Ages ranging from 3 to 14, boys and girls both well represented. Learning to slow down and notice their surroundings and their breath. It was pretty amazing.
This weekend reminded me of the godforces in flow, without having their spirit squashed.
Then my first day back from Oceanstone I have my first School Advisory Committee meeting of the year. I am presented with a grant application from the principal who encouraged me to consider my parenting workshop in association with the grant application. This brought it all back for me... my original intention, what began my business Conscious Parenting was initiated and inspired by my sitting on the School Advisory Committee and hearing of some disconnects, wondering if something could be done about it... realizing I could do something about it.
My original intention and inspiration has come back full circle and presented itself in quite a marvelous way.
In the words of Louise, breathing is good... and there is always more.
Last week at the union event in Moncton I remembered my deeply ingrained desire to make this world a better place, this is what first drew me towards becoming active in the union. Taking action in someway instead of sitting by and complaining about the injustices in the world. I spent much of my free time last week trying to figure out why I was there, in the end it was to renew my sense shaping the type of world I will see (see Blog Entry).
Mike & my girls picked me up from the train station and I was off right away to the ReDefining Education Family Retreat at Oceanstone. I was able to keep my girls with me for this workshop. What an amazing and magical weekend. Anne incorporated Huna into the children's program, there was alot of talk of connections with the elements (nature) and listening to you instincts.
Seeing an eleven year old sitting on the ocean's edge on a rock in a lotus position for 10 - 15 minutes listening to himself, seeing 3 - 4 year olds running out in the middle of a rainstorm to yell and dance in the rain, to seeing some 7 - 8 year old girls exploring the forest.
Sitting on the lush floor of the forest with all of the children, listening to the secrets that could be revealed to us. One child heard "rain" and it began to rain almost immediately afterwards. Playing tag on a grassy knoll overlooking the ocean. Exploring the beach and the gifts it had to offer. Teaching a sun salutation to a 4 year old who then helped me teach others, welcoming breath, welcoming the sun, embracing the elements.
Ages ranging from 3 to 14, boys and girls both well represented. Learning to slow down and notice their surroundings and their breath. It was pretty amazing.
This weekend reminded me of the godforces in flow, without having their spirit squashed.
Then my first day back from Oceanstone I have my first School Advisory Committee meeting of the year. I am presented with a grant application from the principal who encouraged me to consider my parenting workshop in association with the grant application. This brought it all back for me... my original intention, what began my business Conscious Parenting was initiated and inspired by my sitting on the School Advisory Committee and hearing of some disconnects, wondering if something could be done about it... realizing I could do something about it.
My original intention and inspiration has come back full circle and presented itself in quite a marvelous way.
In the words of Louise, breathing is good... and there is always more.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Observing Behavior in a Holographic Universe…
After the official conference I participated in this week as an Atlantic President I was invited to stay and observe the National Council meetings.
Content is irrelevant for the context of what I will be speaking on here, what I find most fascinating is the language used, the passion that surfaced, the conviction of one’s beliefs, truths and sense of justice. The body language that is being displayed. The side bar conversations and groups that conjugate during breaks of the meetings.
As an observer this is very interesting. To see how like minds gravitated towards like minds, people are very comfortable with people who share the same viewpoints. Yet when faced with a differing opinion they begin to feel almost personally attached and they go on the defensive and protective mode. When this happens you tend to become deaf to others words. Which was an invitation for me to consider where in my life do I stop listening because someone else’s truth is not aligned with my own?
Where do I still tune people out when I have no resonance with their words?
Where do I fail to see someone for who they are because I don’t understand their language?
Do I have my own body reactions that I display when someone speaks about something that is not my truth?
My body is telling me yes, I do these things still. Now I need to be aware of this and I really belive that I need to remain grounded, connected in my body, fully present when engaging with others (everyone, all the time).
How can I do this? I am wondering. Perhaps it comes with more practice?
I find the connecting with myself takes a conscious effort. Prior to engaging in a workshop, participating in a WEL-Systems program, or talking with people conscious I take time to breathe, focus on the base of my spine, and create the space for whatever comes up to move and create space for others.
What I find I’m noticing lately is I choose to be involved in work, union and other activities, and in choosing to do so I am engaging with other people whom I may not resonate with and I find it difficult to focus on seeing their godforce. This week is providing me with the opportunity to recognize that within myself, noticing that yes I am choosing to remain here with these people, and I see how I choose to spend my time.
Talking with people I choose to speak to, engaging in after hour activities if my spirit moves me to do so.
Noticing how much of the time I am preoccupied with thoughts of my children, my finance and how much they mean to me. Missing just being able to see their faces, wondering what they are up to, thinking of the little things they do that make me smile, missing conversations with Mike.
And I wonder why I choose to stay here for the full week… what kind of opportunity will present itself to me by my remaining her for the “optional” days to observe the National Council meetings.
Is it simply for me to recognise within others, things I need to pay attention to within myself?
Is it to become connected to the part of me that is pulled to want to help out and make a difference in the world we live in (that I had originally identified as an activist)?
To get back to seeing the injustices in the world and wondering where and what I can do to make a difference.
Yes that resonates with me.
Life is good and tomorrow is another day.
Content is irrelevant for the context of what I will be speaking on here, what I find most fascinating is the language used, the passion that surfaced, the conviction of one’s beliefs, truths and sense of justice. The body language that is being displayed. The side bar conversations and groups that conjugate during breaks of the meetings.
As an observer this is very interesting. To see how like minds gravitated towards like minds, people are very comfortable with people who share the same viewpoints. Yet when faced with a differing opinion they begin to feel almost personally attached and they go on the defensive and protective mode. When this happens you tend to become deaf to others words. Which was an invitation for me to consider where in my life do I stop listening because someone else’s truth is not aligned with my own?
Where do I still tune people out when I have no resonance with their words?
Where do I fail to see someone for who they are because I don’t understand their language?
Do I have my own body reactions that I display when someone speaks about something that is not my truth?
My body is telling me yes, I do these things still. Now I need to be aware of this and I really belive that I need to remain grounded, connected in my body, fully present when engaging with others (everyone, all the time).
How can I do this? I am wondering. Perhaps it comes with more practice?
I find the connecting with myself takes a conscious effort. Prior to engaging in a workshop, participating in a WEL-Systems program, or talking with people conscious I take time to breathe, focus on the base of my spine, and create the space for whatever comes up to move and create space for others.
What I find I’m noticing lately is I choose to be involved in work, union and other activities, and in choosing to do so I am engaging with other people whom I may not resonate with and I find it difficult to focus on seeing their godforce. This week is providing me with the opportunity to recognize that within myself, noticing that yes I am choosing to remain here with these people, and I see how I choose to spend my time.
Talking with people I choose to speak to, engaging in after hour activities if my spirit moves me to do so.
Noticing how much of the time I am preoccupied with thoughts of my children, my finance and how much they mean to me. Missing just being able to see their faces, wondering what they are up to, thinking of the little things they do that make me smile, missing conversations with Mike.
And I wonder why I choose to stay here for the full week… what kind of opportunity will present itself to me by my remaining her for the “optional” days to observe the National Council meetings.
Is it simply for me to recognise within others, things I need to pay attention to within myself?
Is it to become connected to the part of me that is pulled to want to help out and make a difference in the world we live in (that I had originally identified as an activist)?
To get back to seeing the injustices in the world and wondering where and what I can do to make a difference.
Yes that resonates with me.
Life is good and tomorrow is another day.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Whirlwind Tour, Remembering...
I'm in Moncton for a whole week on a Union related conference, learning lots and opening my eyes to so many things that can be simply fixed if people just start taking responsibility for their own lives, their own futures, standing at cause in the world.
Ah but there will be many articles stemming from this week. I began to write one last night yet I had so much to write about a whole different subject emerged and I don't yet know if that piece that presented itself last night is another article or a blog entry.
Tonight I managed to write the article I wanted to do on this conference, and again in that piece came another piece that I am not sure where it will end up going.
I am almost done compiling all my interviews from my summer project I should be able to officially begin my article by the end of the week (perhaps the train ride home).
What I have come to notice this trip is that after 2½ days away from my family I am missing them like crazy. Not an hour passes that I don't think about them and wonder how they are doing.
I am so looking forward to this weekend Redefining Education Retreat at Oceanstone. To be able to see my girls experience something that is totally out of the box and see how they as individual choose to move throughout their weekend is going to be absolutely amazing.
I had lunch with Anne on Friday and she shared with me her vision for the weekend and I was moved profoundly by the excitement of the possibilities that are going to be out there... and endless when it comes to our children expressing themselves in this safe and free environment. It will truly be an amazing weekend.
As I`m sitting in the lobby at the Delta Beausejour in Moncton, New Brunswick I think I shall sign off now.
Ah but there will be many articles stemming from this week. I began to write one last night yet I had so much to write about a whole different subject emerged and I don't yet know if that piece that presented itself last night is another article or a blog entry.
Tonight I managed to write the article I wanted to do on this conference, and again in that piece came another piece that I am not sure where it will end up going.
I am almost done compiling all my interviews from my summer project I should be able to officially begin my article by the end of the week (perhaps the train ride home).
What I have come to notice this trip is that after 2½ days away from my family I am missing them like crazy. Not an hour passes that I don't think about them and wonder how they are doing.
I am so looking forward to this weekend Redefining Education Retreat at Oceanstone. To be able to see my girls experience something that is totally out of the box and see how they as individual choose to move throughout their weekend is going to be absolutely amazing.
I had lunch with Anne on Friday and she shared with me her vision for the weekend and I was moved profoundly by the excitement of the possibilities that are going to be out there... and endless when it comes to our children expressing themselves in this safe and free environment. It will truly be an amazing weekend.
As I`m sitting in the lobby at the Delta Beausejour in Moncton, New Brunswick I think I shall sign off now.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Sinus Cold & Making Space
I'm walking around in a bit of a fog the past few days, exhausted from all the renovations, now stuffy with this silly sinus thing.
I feel I am heading towards the end of a major spiral however I am not sure what will manifest itself. I have been worrying about details (so not me) and have literally cleared my desk off of all miscellaneous junk, followed up on outstanding issues, and created game plans for future movement.
I even did a "To Do List" and have all but 2 items checked off already. New opportunities lie ahead in all aspects of my life. I can feel it, just right there, waiting for me to wake up and walk into it.
I'm ready for the craziness that will be my next 2 - 3 weeks. Off to Moncton for a week returning just to turn around and head out to Oceanstone for Anne & Celine's ReDefining Education Workshop. Followed by a week of work planning a few workshops and events that are entirely work related, right into my next Conscious Parenting Workshop which is being held at Balance Naturopathic Health Centre September 24 & 25, 2007. (To register for this, please contact Balance Health Centre directly)
The final week of this month I will be off to a workshop at Oak Island, then some serenity?
LOL... who knows, I really feel you have to find serenity in your everyday movements, as you remain centred within yourself to move through your days in an authentic way.
All in all, I am ready for the upcoming month, looking forward to spending time with my girls at Oceanstone... and any other moment I can steal.
Life is indeed good... and there is always more.
I feel I am heading towards the end of a major spiral however I am not sure what will manifest itself. I have been worrying about details (so not me) and have literally cleared my desk off of all miscellaneous junk, followed up on outstanding issues, and created game plans for future movement.
I even did a "To Do List" and have all but 2 items checked off already. New opportunities lie ahead in all aspects of my life. I can feel it, just right there, waiting for me to wake up and walk into it.
I'm ready for the craziness that will be my next 2 - 3 weeks. Off to Moncton for a week returning just to turn around and head out to Oceanstone for Anne & Celine's ReDefining Education Workshop. Followed by a week of work planning a few workshops and events that are entirely work related, right into my next Conscious Parenting Workshop which is being held at Balance Naturopathic Health Centre September 24 & 25, 2007. (To register for this, please contact Balance Health Centre directly)
The final week of this month I will be off to a workshop at Oak Island, then some serenity?
LOL... who knows, I really feel you have to find serenity in your everyday movements, as you remain centred within yourself to move through your days in an authentic way.
All in all, I am ready for the upcoming month, looking forward to spending time with my girls at Oceanstone... and any other moment I can steal.
Life is indeed good... and there is always more.
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