It’s been almost 2 years now since I woke up to my life.
Where I began to create and lead my life instead of sitting around being led by it.
Today is a day of reflection on my journey… removing my Self from the equation.
It began with a visionary… someone who displays true leadership… who gathered her courage to step out of the box and shape the type of thing she felt drawn to shape. In her brazenness, her courage to swim against stream regardless of any repercussions she may have faced, she provided the opportunity for many of us to step into remembering our self and finding our voice. Without Cheryl Flemming’s vision, I would not be the woman I am today.
After doubting that I belonged with that group I enter into a room with two dynamic women welcoming me from the front of the room.
One who was very present, outgoing yet insightful, who would push unabashed for you to see through the filters you have placed before your eyes… one that is passionate for awakening others to find their voice, to speak up and to speak out about what is meaningful to them. Encouraging me to connect with the power that is who I am. Cathy Carmody’s presence, power and insight was my invitation to begin to recognize I wasn’t who I had thought myself to be… I was so much more.
The other quiet, majestic, thoughtful, the lioness. Very clear with what she says, absorbing energy in with each breath, calibrating what messages might lye within, and speaking what needed to be said. Teaching me to pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me. Celine Levasseur-Burlock quiet stillness, thoughtfulness, silence, taught me to check in with my body and pay attention… am I moved to speak, or am I just trying to talk to distract myself. Celine chose to listen to her body, to know which words to speak to me, and those few words excelled the integration of information within me.
And my life changed, in a few short months… I knew I could not go back to sleep. I knew I would not be small again. I knew… there was no turning back.
I was impacted so much by these women that I knew I wanted more… I wanted to continue to grow, to unfold, to find out who I was and who I could be.
I stepped in the WEL-Systems certification stream. I met Louise LeBrun who doesn’t engage in “frivolous” conversation. She doesn’t dance around the edges; she is a goddess, spear and crucible combined. She has called out to me… and my godforce responds. In each encounter, conversation, e-mail, book or blog entry, she is able to tease out the brilliance that lies within. My continued growth lies intertwined in engaging with Louise. My SELF… is enlivened in her presence.
Along the road of my journey many women have been in my awareness on similar paths… each contributing to my growth and awakening by simply decloaking and sharing the truth of their experience. Sometimes by being a reflection of something I need to pay attention to within myself offers the freedom for the wave to move and for that insight to come.
Reconnecting in a new way with my old insurance broker, Angela Reid, gifted me with sharing her knowledge surrounding shamanism and the connections and journeys to the more that there is outside of ourselves. Remembering to honor and thank all that is. Teaching me some of what she knows… and being there to share in my learning and growth as I feel it is meaningful for me to do so. Offering another view for me to consider and share… in a way that feels right.
To all those WEL-Woman who are out there, who are able to see my intention and vision and have contributed to manifesting that by virtue of connections, assistance, ideas or simply unconditional support.
To the woman who showed up for my first Conscious Parenting Workshop, being willing and engaging with me in the program room as I cut my teeth. Donna, Amy, Sarah, Elizabeth and Robyn (bless your family) for being present and willing to expose yourselves and take the ride.
To the first man in my Conscious Parenting workshop, Rick; through your presence and continuous curiosity I was able to recognize and dismiss old beliefs I held about the woman I am when engaging with men while facilitating a workshop. I also learned from you that I had judged men in general as not being up for the deeper more emotional (energetic) conversations, you were the first to prove this to be a belief that no longer served me.
When you are on a journey of a life that you are creating your intentions change and shift as you learn and grow. Sometimes your intentions compliment another; such was the case with Anne Thibeault-Berube. Anne & Celine created a Redefining Education family retreat and Anne invited me to come and help with the Children for the weekend. That weekend I learned to see life again through the eyes of a child, I was also able to tie in what I learned from Angela about shamanism and integrate it within myself, while playing with the children out in the elements. Anne was an invitation for me that weekend to take what I learned from Angela and feel it within myself.
Through it all, I continued to grow with each encounter, with each conversation, in very profound ways… and recently at the 1st Annual Idea’s Festival I took yet another Quantum Leap. Those who gathered in that room were willing and there for Anne’s “Vision of Oneness”, the energy was palatable. Love was very much a presence on its own. Scott MacInnis’ willingness to be present and freely express the truth of his experience, exuding the pure love for everyone and everything he feels called to my spirit to remember that love which I also am. I came home to look at everyone with new eyes… most importantly to look at myself with those new eyes. For that awakening to something I wasn’t even aware of missing in my life… I will be forever thankful.
And to those who have been quietly supporting me from the wings, family, friends, co-workers… my cheerleaders, my sounding boards, those who believe in me and see what I want to offer to others… my gratitude and thanks to all of you… Laura Beaton in particular, who has witnessed me as I have gone thorough my transformation cheering me on every step of the way.
A good way to end a year… remembering with gratitude… loving thanks for your part of my Two Short Years of Knowing…
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Awakening the Sun…
I just returned from the 1st Annual Idea’s Festival at Oceanstone. A diverse gathering of beautiful people with something in common; the desire to talk about the connection that ties us all draws us together as well as the attractor and provider of the space, Anne.
For me this weekend was a blur of time, listening to everyone with my body not my intellect. I had a great deal of movement this weekend. Engaging my body, my self and mind into the presentations as they called for me to do.
Seeing the essence of everyone… the core of what we all are, really… for the first time staying present to that.
Come to be where I felt home… does that make sense? It doesn’t matter it does to me. Feeling free to allow myself to stay grounded, to remain visible, to speak and be heard, to arrive and be seen… not only for what I have said and for who I am, but also for the unspoken and what I have not yet discovered about myself.
Anne is the Sun… and she has truly provided this space for me to awaken to the essence of who she is.
Now filled for the first time I can recall (yet is seems so familiar) with undeniable love for life and everything I see…
I can remember having conversations with friends in the past where they said “I love… love” (typically talking about being in love with a person) and I would laugh a giddy little laugh but not really know what they were talking about. I now know on a grander scale… I’ve felt it… it resides with in me.
I did not want to leave Oceanstone last night yet at the same time I wanted to just be home with Mike and my girls… when I finally managed to get myself out the door I was impatiently waiting for Keri to say her goodbyes so I could get home to my family.
The weekend was so much more that I had ever imagined. I found part of myself that I had not connected to for a long, long time.
I arrived home and didn’t even unpack the car (I still haven’t) bursting through the door to lay eyes on my family. Jessica on the couch under a blanket watching her show; Mike had Sara in the tub just finishing up her bath… each of they so fantastic to see through these different eyes…
A thought just crossed my mind… I wonder what I look like now with these eyes... what I look like, to myself… I think I’ll see.
Off to look and see who is mirroring me.
Thank you seems so small to say… and I know for all of you there, you know what I want to express.
Mahalo – Hawaiian for Thanks, Gratitude – (May you be) in (Divine) Breath
For me this weekend was a blur of time, listening to everyone with my body not my intellect. I had a great deal of movement this weekend. Engaging my body, my self and mind into the presentations as they called for me to do.
Seeing the essence of everyone… the core of what we all are, really… for the first time staying present to that.
Come to be where I felt home… does that make sense? It doesn’t matter it does to me. Feeling free to allow myself to stay grounded, to remain visible, to speak and be heard, to arrive and be seen… not only for what I have said and for who I am, but also for the unspoken and what I have not yet discovered about myself.
Anne is the Sun… and she has truly provided this space for me to awaken to the essence of who she is.
Now filled for the first time I can recall (yet is seems so familiar) with undeniable love for life and everything I see…
I can remember having conversations with friends in the past where they said “I love… love” (typically talking about being in love with a person) and I would laugh a giddy little laugh but not really know what they were talking about. I now know on a grander scale… I’ve felt it… it resides with in me.
I did not want to leave Oceanstone last night yet at the same time I wanted to just be home with Mike and my girls… when I finally managed to get myself out the door I was impatiently waiting for Keri to say her goodbyes so I could get home to my family.
The weekend was so much more that I had ever imagined. I found part of myself that I had not connected to for a long, long time.
I arrived home and didn’t even unpack the car (I still haven’t) bursting through the door to lay eyes on my family. Jessica on the couch under a blanket watching her show; Mike had Sara in the tub just finishing up her bath… each of they so fantastic to see through these different eyes…
A thought just crossed my mind… I wonder what I look like now with these eyes... what I look like, to myself… I think I’ll see.
Off to look and see who is mirroring me.
Thank you seems so small to say… and I know for all of you there, you know what I want to express.
Mahalo – Hawaiian for Thanks, Gratitude – (May you be) in (Divine) Breath
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Opening the Gate
Have you ever known you have to have a difficult conversation and you walk around dreading it for days, weeks, months... maybe you haven't allowed yourself to have that conversation yet?
Perhaps keeping that idea of having that conversation locked up inside of you so long you become numb to it, forget it's even there waiting to be had.
You mind and habitual behavior create inner turmoil. If I have this conversation my life will forever change... do I want to go there? More importantly what will happen to me if I don't?
You need find that place of clarity in yourself and open that gate... once the conversation has begun you are through and walking into the unknown on the other side.
The unknown... it isn't a scary place... it can be a very creative place... designing your life differently... in a way that is meaningful for you.
Perhaps keeping that idea of having that conversation locked up inside of you so long you become numb to it, forget it's even there waiting to be had.
You mind and habitual behavior create inner turmoil. If I have this conversation my life will forever change... do I want to go there? More importantly what will happen to me if I don't?
You need find that place of clarity in yourself and open that gate... once the conversation has begun you are through and walking into the unknown on the other side.
The unknown... it isn't a scary place... it can be a very creative place... designing your life differently... in a way that is meaningful for you.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Coming Together
Something last week just clicked for me. May have been the conversation Louise and I had in a coaching session (probably had a lot to do with it).
My shoulders are a little lighter, my mind a little clearer, my vision a little bigger.
I feel like I'm back to who I know I am. Who I've come to be, after being 'away' let's say. I think we all can get caught up at times, being pulled in many directions from many different people.
It isn't about other people doing it to you, it is about learning where to draw the line in the sand... Where to say No.
Or having the power and clarity to change your mind when you no longer feel you can do what you are doing, in a healthy manner.
Knowing that saying No does not mean I am not good enough to do it. Saying No, does not make me a bitch or lazy.
Saying No means, I want to do the quality of work I know I can do. Saying No is how I know how to do it... I need space and room for my creativity to happen, taking on another task compromises this.
Allowing yourself to know they truth that lies deep within yourself. Truth that may be difficult or scary to consider let alone accept, because of the implications you have imagined are attached to them.
Knowing that truth, having it in your awareness, and knowing there is nothing you have to do about it, if you don't want to... simply know it.
That in itself provides a different type of clarity and vision.
It's all coming together. Piece by piece, insight by insight, awareness and thoughts, allowing me to come together and be.
Life is good... there is always more.
My shoulders are a little lighter, my mind a little clearer, my vision a little bigger.
I feel like I'm back to who I know I am. Who I've come to be, after being 'away' let's say. I think we all can get caught up at times, being pulled in many directions from many different people.
It isn't about other people doing it to you, it is about learning where to draw the line in the sand... Where to say No.
Or having the power and clarity to change your mind when you no longer feel you can do what you are doing, in a healthy manner.
Knowing that saying No does not mean I am not good enough to do it. Saying No, does not make me a bitch or lazy.
Saying No means, I want to do the quality of work I know I can do. Saying No is how I know how to do it... I need space and room for my creativity to happen, taking on another task compromises this.
Allowing yourself to know they truth that lies deep within yourself. Truth that may be difficult or scary to consider let alone accept, because of the implications you have imagined are attached to them.
Knowing that truth, having it in your awareness, and knowing there is nothing you have to do about it, if you don't want to... simply know it.
That in itself provides a different type of clarity and vision.
It's all coming together. Piece by piece, insight by insight, awareness and thoughts, allowing me to come together and be.
Life is good... there is always more.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
December Conscious Parenting Workshop
This 2 day weekend workshop is being offered to parents or parents-to-be to consider a different way of living and nurturing their children’s brilliance and individual expression.
Through these sessions Lori will be inviting participants to discover a new perspective on parenting. Inviting them to find their authentic self and to consider how they can co-create meaningful family relationships with their children.
It is an invitation for participants to recognize their programmed behaviours (unconscious parenting) and to become more actively aware in the parenting behaviours (conscious parenting).
Date: December 1st and 2nd, 2007 (Sat & Sun)
Location: Growing Foward, Personal Growth Services
1153 Cole Harbour Road, Dartmouth
Time: 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. (Sat & Sun)
Price: $85.00 for complete workshop, breaks, workshop manual, 1 CD from the Living WELness Series.
Your workshop guide is Lori Walton, certified WEL-Systems® Master Facilitator and Quantum TLC™ Facilitator.
To find out more please contact Lori Walton at (902) 461-9169 or e-mail mailto:potential@eastlink.ca
Exploring Our Potential Consulting 2007
Through these sessions Lori will be inviting participants to discover a new perspective on parenting. Inviting them to find their authentic self and to consider how they can co-create meaningful family relationships with their children.
It is an invitation for participants to recognize their programmed behaviours (unconscious parenting) and to become more actively aware in the parenting behaviours (conscious parenting).
Date: December 1st and 2nd, 2007 (Sat & Sun)
Location: Growing Foward, Personal Growth Services
1153 Cole Harbour Road, Dartmouth
Time: 10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. (Sat & Sun)
Price: $85.00 for complete workshop, breaks, workshop manual, 1 CD from the Living WELness Series.
Your workshop guide is Lori Walton, certified WEL-Systems® Master Facilitator and Quantum TLC™ Facilitator.
To find out more please contact Lori Walton at (902) 461-9169 or e-mail mailto:potential@eastlink.ca
Exploring Our Potential Consulting 2007
Silencing ourselves is usless
I read Sarah's Blog today and felt the outrage inside of me, felt the tears come to my eyes, felt my face getting hot.
What strikes me is how often we take some "experts" word on something, knowing that it might not feel right inside, yet saying "what can I do about it?"... washing their hands of the situation.
Without even questioning it.
Not listening to our inner voice.
Not even going for another opinion.
So nothing changes.
Silence is our own worst enemy.
Remaining silent causes illness. Remaining silent causes conflict. Remaining silent causes stress and breakdown. Remaining silent allows atrocities that are happening in our world to continue to happen.
All it takes is for you to open your mouth. Express how you feel. Speak from the truth of your own experience.
The world changes, one by one.
Your truth will find that which is the truth in another's experience. And their truth is awakened to the possibility of being expressed as well.
In other words by speaking your truth you inspire others to speak theirs.
As we each go about speaking our truths, not willing to be silent anymore, society can no longer ignore the things we have stopped talking about because it is unpleasant or sad to think about.
The world will change... it takes courage, clarity, connection and voice.
What strikes me is how often we take some "experts" word on something, knowing that it might not feel right inside, yet saying "what can I do about it?"... washing their hands of the situation.
Without even questioning it.
Not listening to our inner voice.
Not even going for another opinion.
So nothing changes.
Silence is our own worst enemy.
Remaining silent causes illness. Remaining silent causes conflict. Remaining silent causes stress and breakdown. Remaining silent allows atrocities that are happening in our world to continue to happen.
All it takes is for you to open your mouth. Express how you feel. Speak from the truth of your own experience.
The world changes, one by one.
Your truth will find that which is the truth in another's experience. And their truth is awakened to the possibility of being expressed as well.
In other words by speaking your truth you inspire others to speak theirs.
As we each go about speaking our truths, not willing to be silent anymore, society can no longer ignore the things we have stopped talking about because it is unpleasant or sad to think about.
The world will change... it takes courage, clarity, connection and voice.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Speaking Up... Speaking Out
It is as simple as that.
Generally we tend to make assumptions that things are all our own and we just have to learn to suck it up and deal with it.
Rarely (as women) do we voice what we want. Actually put words to what we would like to happen.
Men do not seem to have as much of a problem saying no as women do? Why is that?
Is it because it has only been in the last 50 yrs that we have been given a chance in the work place? Is it because when we were "allowed" to go to work in the corporate environment (other than secretarial positions) that we had to prove ourselves? That we could handle it?
Why is it that I felt (internalized) that I would be looked at as a failure if I couldn't do it all?
And the answers don't matter.
What matters is that I remembered. I remembered who I am, that yes I am in charge of the design of my own life (like you are yours).
I spoke up. I expressed what I was feeling and was clear that I would not be able to continue doing it all.
The outcome?
The weight of it all is lifted from my shoulders and temporary help is being hired to assist me.
My input and background on this major project is to valued to put someone else on it... however all of the other tasks I was concerning myself with wanting to get done because I know they needed to get done... the things that will take forever to do but would be such a great asset to our unit... will now get done by someone else, at my direction (with input from others).
Sometimes all you need to do to release pressure you may be feeling is to express it... speak up and speak out about your "enough is enough" point. Be clear and be proactive.
You might be surprised with the outcome... I was.
Life is good... there is always more.
Generally we tend to make assumptions that things are all our own and we just have to learn to suck it up and deal with it.
Rarely (as women) do we voice what we want. Actually put words to what we would like to happen.
Men do not seem to have as much of a problem saying no as women do? Why is that?
Is it because it has only been in the last 50 yrs that we have been given a chance in the work place? Is it because when we were "allowed" to go to work in the corporate environment (other than secretarial positions) that we had to prove ourselves? That we could handle it?
Why is it that I felt (internalized) that I would be looked at as a failure if I couldn't do it all?
And the answers don't matter.
What matters is that I remembered. I remembered who I am, that yes I am in charge of the design of my own life (like you are yours).
I spoke up. I expressed what I was feeling and was clear that I would not be able to continue doing it all.
The outcome?
The weight of it all is lifted from my shoulders and temporary help is being hired to assist me.
My input and background on this major project is to valued to put someone else on it... however all of the other tasks I was concerning myself with wanting to get done because I know they needed to get done... the things that will take forever to do but would be such a great asset to our unit... will now get done by someone else, at my direction (with input from others).
Sometimes all you need to do to release pressure you may be feeling is to express it... speak up and speak out about your "enough is enough" point. Be clear and be proactive.
You might be surprised with the outcome... I was.
Life is good... there is always more.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Somethings Got To Give
So after my week of feeling stretched to the limit pre-Huna; I once again find myself tense and short tempered. Somethings got to give.
I know I have been doing two jobs right now at work... and also working on a major project, I am finding that I don't have time to leave my desk to get a glass of water or go to the bathroom because I am too busy. Somethings got to give.
I come home and I am a mother of 2 children, I am a spouse who is in the middle of selling a home and searching for a new one. I am involved with the School Advisory Council and I have a demanding and sick 3 year old and a independent and moody 12 year old. Both bring me great joy... but when I am already worn out... somethings got to give.
I am the President of my union local, I know I contribute greatly, I am interested in the work I do and what I can offer... it is just one more thing on my work schedule... somethings got to give.
I volunteer... no kidding... I have alot to say and I care about the way I want my world, workplace and community to be shaped... this is not an issue... merely another thing I am trying to fit into my work schedule... somethings got to give.
What's got to give? What can't I handle? Why do I beat myself up or think I am less then if I feel I cannot handle all of this? Why does speaking up and saying this isn't working for me still feel like I'm failing something or someone??? Somethings got to give.
Here is what I know now. Nothing is going to give unless I give it up for someone else to do. I need to speak with some people at work and discuss some of my workload, because as I write the most tenseness in my body is when I write about the project or 2 jobs. I know what's got to give... my stubbornness.
To stand in myself and speak up to what is meaningful to me. Not taking on a task or pushing back does not make me less then or a failure. What it is doing is setting an example of knowing when to say know and that it is okay to do so.
I am exhausted. I need some sleep. Taking a nice bath and curling up in bed for the night.
Tomorrow.. what is it going to bring me? Some relief as I am going to express myself.
There is always more.
I know I have been doing two jobs right now at work... and also working on a major project, I am finding that I don't have time to leave my desk to get a glass of water or go to the bathroom because I am too busy. Somethings got to give.
I come home and I am a mother of 2 children, I am a spouse who is in the middle of selling a home and searching for a new one. I am involved with the School Advisory Council and I have a demanding and sick 3 year old and a independent and moody 12 year old. Both bring me great joy... but when I am already worn out... somethings got to give.
I am the President of my union local, I know I contribute greatly, I am interested in the work I do and what I can offer... it is just one more thing on my work schedule... somethings got to give.
I volunteer... no kidding... I have alot to say and I care about the way I want my world, workplace and community to be shaped... this is not an issue... merely another thing I am trying to fit into my work schedule... somethings got to give.
What's got to give? What can't I handle? Why do I beat myself up or think I am less then if I feel I cannot handle all of this? Why does speaking up and saying this isn't working for me still feel like I'm failing something or someone??? Somethings got to give.
Here is what I know now. Nothing is going to give unless I give it up for someone else to do. I need to speak with some people at work and discuss some of my workload, because as I write the most tenseness in my body is when I write about the project or 2 jobs. I know what's got to give... my stubbornness.
To stand in myself and speak up to what is meaningful to me. Not taking on a task or pushing back does not make me less then or a failure. What it is doing is setting an example of knowing when to say know and that it is okay to do so.
I am exhausted. I need some sleep. Taking a nice bath and curling up in bed for the night.
Tomorrow.. what is it going to bring me? Some relief as I am going to express myself.
There is always more.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
"Is there anybody out there?"
It is so amazing to me when I receive e-mails from total strangers who have read or listened to something I have done.
In the past 3 weeks I have received 2 e-mails from 2 different women who have read Single Moms: Struggles and Strengths and were touched by my story in some way they felt they wanted to reach out to me.
The first one I received I wasn't sure if it was really meant for me or not. It was from a young woman named Lori who was a single mom at the age of 17. It was such a close reflection of my circumstance I wasn't sure if it was from a real person or not. It took me a while but I responded all the same.
Today I received another e-mail from a single mom in Ontario. I have not yet responded but I am in awe that my words have found their way out to the women I intended to read them. Many months after my articles were published.
It reaffirms to me that although I have no clue who reads my words and how many are touched by my words... they are being heard and my honesty and truth are finding their way into another's life.
Pretty freaking amazing... As I continue to sit with this... enjoy this feeling of knowing I have touched someone with my words, allowing someone to see that they are not alone.
And here is what I know, as we each speak up and speak our truths for others to hear, something in our story will resonate with another person on this earth, reassuring them that they too are not alone.
Tomorrow is another day... and there is always more.
In the past 3 weeks I have received 2 e-mails from 2 different women who have read Single Moms: Struggles and Strengths and were touched by my story in some way they felt they wanted to reach out to me.
The first one I received I wasn't sure if it was really meant for me or not. It was from a young woman named Lori who was a single mom at the age of 17. It was such a close reflection of my circumstance I wasn't sure if it was from a real person or not. It took me a while but I responded all the same.
Today I received another e-mail from a single mom in Ontario. I have not yet responded but I am in awe that my words have found their way out to the women I intended to read them. Many months after my articles were published.
It reaffirms to me that although I have no clue who reads my words and how many are touched by my words... they are being heard and my honesty and truth are finding their way into another's life.
Pretty freaking amazing... As I continue to sit with this... enjoy this feeling of knowing I have touched someone with my words, allowing someone to see that they are not alone.
And here is what I know, as we each speak up and speak our truths for others to hear, something in our story will resonate with another person on this earth, reassuring them that they too are not alone.
Tomorrow is another day... and there is always more.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Leading Without Losing
It's been one week since I was at Oceanstone for the Huna Retreat. That in it's own experience as amazing and almost indescribable. (Almost... I will go into it, but not in this entry).
Today the notion of Leading Without Losing is playing in my head. This may be the title of my leadership article or it may be the title of the next Women's Leadership Event at work... I'm not sure yet what it is, but I know it is important.
Leading without Losing is not about who wins. It isn't about never being wrong. It is about standing in your place of power and not losing yourself. Standing up as your authentic self and saying what needs to be said, listening closely to your Signal #1 (instinct, impulse) and allowing yourself to lead from that place.
Leading without Losing is about staying connected to who you are and what you value. It is about knowing where passion and power comes from... in the truth of your experience.
Leading without Losing is about knowing who you are, remembering that as you move through your world.
I'm not sure what Leading without Losing will be, but I know I am called to play with this notion right now.
Life is good... there is always more.
Today the notion of Leading Without Losing is playing in my head. This may be the title of my leadership article or it may be the title of the next Women's Leadership Event at work... I'm not sure yet what it is, but I know it is important.
Leading without Losing is not about who wins. It isn't about never being wrong. It is about standing in your place of power and not losing yourself. Standing up as your authentic self and saying what needs to be said, listening closely to your Signal #1 (instinct, impulse) and allowing yourself to lead from that place.
Leading without Losing is about staying connected to who you are and what you value. It is about knowing where passion and power comes from... in the truth of your experience.
Leading without Losing is about knowing who you are, remembering that as you move through your world.
I'm not sure what Leading without Losing will be, but I know I am called to play with this notion right now.
Life is good... there is always more.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Duality of Living
While having a conversation with Sarah last night the notion of duality came into my consciousness.
Knowing something and thinking something is very different from stepping into it fully and living it. An integration needs to happen there, or your will remain sick or tired or find yourself having the same conversations over and over again (the words may be different but the context is the same).
Since Louise and I discussed our next project together, engaging in those conversations with me surrounding health I have been on the edge. I have been at the brink of tears during my days and nights for no reason in particular.
At work I am feeling spread really thin. Functioning in 2 job roles with a significant project on the side that others come to me for information or assistance on. The things I love to do are becoming interruptions almost. I am not leaving my desk to wander to the water bottle because that is a few minutes of tasks I can be completing.
A colleague and friend called me to discuss some future planning surrounding our Union Local, and it burst. That was my breaking point, my point of release.
At first I attempted to regain control of my emotions and then in a second I decided to honour them. My friend and mentor whom I was on the phone with asked if I was still there, I of course said yes and I am taking a few minutes here. He sat patiently and quietly as I allowed my tears to flow and my release to escape... if only such a little bit.
See Bob has read my blogs... we have had many wonderful conversations about life and philosophy. I was not uncomfortable honouring what came up for me with him on the other line, and he (I believe) in turn was not uncomfortable with me doing so.
Its not about him, it's not about the work, it's not about the tasks or the major project. It is about me. It is how my body has known over the past week or so that there is so much more just bubbling under the surface.
It is about how I thought I went through everything already in my journey to becoming who I am now (and as I wrote that I wanted to delete it as I know that is not a reality). Over coming the feelings of shame, unworthiness, guilt, anger, rage, uselessness and so much more over the past year was simply on the exterior.
As I come closer and closer to engaging with my health and lifestyle with Louise, I know all of those words will come up like they have never done before in the conversation regarding my body image and the emotions tied to that.
I suppose it is almost as if I am afraid. I am afraid of what might come up. Most of all I am afraid that I will not succeed, and these things I know are inside of me will be proved true on some level.
Can you see the duality? I thought I had this all gone, all of these feelings when it comes to conversation of leadership and exploring our potential... yet it is just lying beneath the surface when I take the time to notice it in my body image, weight, control, etc...
I'm off to Huna this weekend with Louise and many others who will be coming together at Oceanstone.
For me this weekend is to become really familiar with the force I am in this world and stand clearly from that point as I begin to engage in the next 6 weeks having those difficult conversations.
Tomorrow I will be at Oceanstone... and there will be more.
Knowing something and thinking something is very different from stepping into it fully and living it. An integration needs to happen there, or your will remain sick or tired or find yourself having the same conversations over and over again (the words may be different but the context is the same).
Since Louise and I discussed our next project together, engaging in those conversations with me surrounding health I have been on the edge. I have been at the brink of tears during my days and nights for no reason in particular.
At work I am feeling spread really thin. Functioning in 2 job roles with a significant project on the side that others come to me for information or assistance on. The things I love to do are becoming interruptions almost. I am not leaving my desk to wander to the water bottle because that is a few minutes of tasks I can be completing.
A colleague and friend called me to discuss some future planning surrounding our Union Local, and it burst. That was my breaking point, my point of release.
At first I attempted to regain control of my emotions and then in a second I decided to honour them. My friend and mentor whom I was on the phone with asked if I was still there, I of course said yes and I am taking a few minutes here. He sat patiently and quietly as I allowed my tears to flow and my release to escape... if only such a little bit.
See Bob has read my blogs... we have had many wonderful conversations about life and philosophy. I was not uncomfortable honouring what came up for me with him on the other line, and he (I believe) in turn was not uncomfortable with me doing so.
Its not about him, it's not about the work, it's not about the tasks or the major project. It is about me. It is how my body has known over the past week or so that there is so much more just bubbling under the surface.
It is about how I thought I went through everything already in my journey to becoming who I am now (and as I wrote that I wanted to delete it as I know that is not a reality). Over coming the feelings of shame, unworthiness, guilt, anger, rage, uselessness and so much more over the past year was simply on the exterior.
As I come closer and closer to engaging with my health and lifestyle with Louise, I know all of those words will come up like they have never done before in the conversation regarding my body image and the emotions tied to that.
I suppose it is almost as if I am afraid. I am afraid of what might come up. Most of all I am afraid that I will not succeed, and these things I know are inside of me will be proved true on some level.
Can you see the duality? I thought I had this all gone, all of these feelings when it comes to conversation of leadership and exploring our potential... yet it is just lying beneath the surface when I take the time to notice it in my body image, weight, control, etc...
I'm off to Huna this weekend with Louise and many others who will be coming together at Oceanstone.
For me this weekend is to become really familiar with the force I am in this world and stand clearly from that point as I begin to engage in the next 6 weeks having those difficult conversations.
Tomorrow I will be at Oceanstone... and there will be more.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Putting Myself Out There
Wow, what an experience and invitation last weeks interview as for me. I think I emailed it to everyone I can think of... family, friends or coworkers (with exception to my Uncle Ken whom recently changed his e-mail address - don't worry you will get it too).
I sat and listened to part of it with my mother-in-law who was down visiting... it was a long interview, she didn't stay to finish listening to it (perhaps she will if she wants to in the privacy of her own home). I haven't listened to it in it's entirety yet... I intend on doing so tonight.
By the sounds of Louise's entry entitled The power of contagion it is being downloaded quite a bit, so this is a good thing. I also think that is because we are not afraid to talk about what is meaningful to us, about what we are doing, we are not afraid to let people know what we are involved in.
For those of you whom I have not met yet I have been struggling for years about my weight. About matching the inside me to the outside me and I have been blogging about that in a second blog entitled A Whole Healthy Me. Over the next few months I will be posting there quite a bit. Louise and I are going to be engaging in conversations surrounding food (and what it is really about).
I would encourage you if you feel you are interested to explore that blog. I also want to assure those who I know that I am not ashamed about what I say there, don't feel you are prying if you wish to read or know more. If I did not want people to read about my experiences I would not put them here.
If you know me well and you wish to talk with me about anything I have written there do not back off if tears may come to my eyes as I speak to you, the tears are a good thing and I know that by staying in those tough conversations will accelerated the things I need to process to make the outside me match the inside me.
For tonight, I am exhausted. I am done for now. Tomorrow is another day... and there is always more.
I sat and listened to part of it with my mother-in-law who was down visiting... it was a long interview, she didn't stay to finish listening to it (perhaps she will if she wants to in the privacy of her own home). I haven't listened to it in it's entirety yet... I intend on doing so tonight.
By the sounds of Louise's entry entitled The power of contagion it is being downloaded quite a bit, so this is a good thing. I also think that is because we are not afraid to talk about what is meaningful to us, about what we are doing, we are not afraid to let people know what we are involved in.
For those of you whom I have not met yet I have been struggling for years about my weight. About matching the inside me to the outside me and I have been blogging about that in a second blog entitled A Whole Healthy Me. Over the next few months I will be posting there quite a bit. Louise and I are going to be engaging in conversations surrounding food (and what it is really about).
I would encourage you if you feel you are interested to explore that blog. I also want to assure those who I know that I am not ashamed about what I say there, don't feel you are prying if you wish to read or know more. If I did not want people to read about my experiences I would not put them here.
If you know me well and you wish to talk with me about anything I have written there do not back off if tears may come to my eyes as I speak to you, the tears are a good thing and I know that by staying in those tough conversations will accelerated the things I need to process to make the outside me match the inside me.
For tonight, I am exhausted. I am done for now. Tomorrow is another day... and there is always more.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Time Flys By
The hour long interview last night flew by like it was simply a few minutes. That is what happens when you are engaging in interesting conversations with women who have so much to offer each other.
One thing that I noticed was how I can't really recall what I spoke about. I believe it was alot to do about my background and not so much what lies ahead. This was a good conversation for me to look back on just how far I have come in such a short period of time. And I also feel it has created sufficient space for the next quantum leap in my journey.
On the home front we are finishing up final cosmetic details in order to list our house for next Monday. We have outgrown it.
What is really interesting to me is that the houses we seem to be looking at are in the St. Margaret's Bay area. What strikes me about that is a) we had never thought about living on that side of the city. and b) it is close to Oceanstone... who knows what that means and I'll just have to wait and see where we end up moving to.
I will be participating in Huna next weekend with Louise and several others (who exactly I don't know). What I do know is I am very excited to connect to myself again, in a setting like this. I have not yet experienced Huna and I can't wait to engage with those who show up there.
I am working away at my article on Leadership. I have made a few grand discoveries about myself and perceptions that people hold about leaders and leadership. I look forward to having it ready for people to read and for publishing in the next month or so.
I am also looking forward to getting another Conscious Parenting workshop happening over the next 2 month period. I am ready and raring to go into whatever the next phase may be.
A parting thought for this entry....
If you don't declare yourself, your intentions, it is but a secret desire. When you speak it to others it is a declaration of manifestation and will become your reality.
One thing that I noticed was how I can't really recall what I spoke about. I believe it was alot to do about my background and not so much what lies ahead. This was a good conversation for me to look back on just how far I have come in such a short period of time. And I also feel it has created sufficient space for the next quantum leap in my journey.
On the home front we are finishing up final cosmetic details in order to list our house for next Monday. We have outgrown it.
What is really interesting to me is that the houses we seem to be looking at are in the St. Margaret's Bay area. What strikes me about that is a) we had never thought about living on that side of the city. and b) it is close to Oceanstone... who knows what that means and I'll just have to wait and see where we end up moving to.
I will be participating in Huna next weekend with Louise and several others (who exactly I don't know). What I do know is I am very excited to connect to myself again, in a setting like this. I have not yet experienced Huna and I can't wait to engage with those who show up there.
I am working away at my article on Leadership. I have made a few grand discoveries about myself and perceptions that people hold about leaders and leadership. I look forward to having it ready for people to read and for publishing in the next month or so.
I am also looking forward to getting another Conscious Parenting workshop happening over the next 2 month period. I am ready and raring to go into whatever the next phase may be.
A parting thought for this entry....
If you don't declare yourself, your intentions, it is but a secret desire. When you speak it to others it is a declaration of manifestation and will become your reality.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Mission Unstoppable
On Thursday, October 11th, 2007 at 6 p.m. (Halifax Time) I have been invited to participate in an Internet radio interview.
The name of the program is Mission Unstoppable and the host will be interviewing Louise LeBrun on leadership. Myself, Amy & Anne have also been invited to participate having taken Louise's Leadership Redefined - Reclaimed.
Who knows what the actual content of the interview will be for sure. My guess is my part in this interview will be about my experience taking this program, what I have discovered surrounding myself and leadership and what I have chosen to do with it (how I choose to design my life).
I am looking forward to participating in this interview, and if you are so inclined to listen I would suggest you get familiar with the site at this Mission Unstoppable link above and mark your calendar. It should be an interesting hour!
Tomorrow is another day... there is always more.
The name of the program is Mission Unstoppable and the host will be interviewing Louise LeBrun on leadership. Myself, Amy & Anne have also been invited to participate having taken Louise's Leadership Redefined - Reclaimed.
Who knows what the actual content of the interview will be for sure. My guess is my part in this interview will be about my experience taking this program, what I have discovered surrounding myself and leadership and what I have chosen to do with it (how I choose to design my life).
I am looking forward to participating in this interview, and if you are so inclined to listen I would suggest you get familiar with the site at this Mission Unstoppable link above and mark your calendar. It should be an interesting hour!
Tomorrow is another day... there is always more.
Can Boil Down to RESPECT
What is the difference? Where is the disconnect? Why is the culture in Ottawa different from our Region? Is it?
At a recent meeting in Ottawa I was presented with an awareness of disrespect and (yes) immaturity by a handful of the participants, both from the management as well as from the union side.
Speaking your truth is one t hing (although some may want to consider doing it in a constructive manner). Dismissing and disregarding someone else's truth is quite another thing.
There were people who I felt were in a position to set the tone, to lead by example, who simply shocked me. They blew my perception of them out of the water by being blatantly disrespectful, making snide comments or even rolling their eyes when another individual was speaking... and doing so helps to create an environment that does not feel safe for others to express their opinions and thoughts (don't worry that didn't stop me).
I wonder if those people who behaved that way are aware of their actions? Or is it done out of fear of what they may be ignoring? Of ignorance of someone else's truth that is making them uncomfortable?
And in the next breath those same people express that they do not see any issues with communication when it comes to union and management relations. This all seems absurd and unreal to me and I am extremely curious as to why those individuals are choosing to be so sound asleep to another persons reality?
Tomorrow is another day... there is always more.
At a recent meeting in Ottawa I was presented with an awareness of disrespect and (yes) immaturity by a handful of the participants, both from the management as well as from the union side.
Speaking your truth is one t hing (although some may want to consider doing it in a constructive manner). Dismissing and disregarding someone else's truth is quite another thing.
There were people who I felt were in a position to set the tone, to lead by example, who simply shocked me. They blew my perception of them out of the water by being blatantly disrespectful, making snide comments or even rolling their eyes when another individual was speaking... and doing so helps to create an environment that does not feel safe for others to express their opinions and thoughts (don't worry that didn't stop me).
I wonder if those people who behaved that way are aware of their actions? Or is it done out of fear of what they may be ignoring? Of ignorance of someone else's truth that is making them uncomfortable?
And in the next breath those same people express that they do not see any issues with communication when it comes to union and management relations. This all seems absurd and unreal to me and I am extremely curious as to why those individuals are choosing to be so sound asleep to another persons reality?
Tomorrow is another day... there is always more.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Noticing – When Opportunity Knocks
What I have come to notice is that when you are actively involved in creating the type of world you want to live in (i.e. choosing, speaking your truth, living authentically) opportunities arise out of day to day living.
I of course and speaking in part with my invitation that was extended to my a few weeks ago at the Local Presidents Conference to be here in Ottawa for the Informal Conflict Management System (ICMS Program) Workshop.
When I originally received the invitation I was honoured and elated with the opportunity, for two reasons:
a) The offer was not an offer to sneeze at; in that meeting are people who are major ‘stakeholders’ in our department (although I would challenge that every employee is a stakeholder).
b) The topic, the departmental ICMS program. Informal Conflict Management for me means Conflict Resolution, which is basically looking at productive ways to “hear” each other’s stories and points of view. It starts with being aware of the people you are interacting with, not only their language but also the other indicators that may be displayed. Being approachable, non confrontational and sincere, it will help ease a stress filled situation if someone knows they can simply talk to you and you will listen. So much of the time people just need to be heard… conflicts arise when people don’t know how to listen.
There are so many nuances that could be thrown into the mix when dealing with active listening and effective communicating, however it can be simplified by realizing everyone has something important to say whether you agree with it or not. By listening to them express them selves. Respecting them as individuals who have something valid and valuable to say. And remaining true to your self and your experiences you will be able to accomplish a lot.
Three very productive days spent in the National Capital Area, although I wasn’t worried that I would have anything to contribute during this workshop I was a little bit concerned with if people would hear me. I have left the sessions knowing that I have been heard and also perhaps opened up people’s views on who might have valuable input in the ‘decision making’ areas of our workplace.
I am sitting in the airport leaving Ottawa, with the promise of there being more. I’ll be having conversations next week with the National President to talk about other opportunities for me to sit on National Committees.
Life is good. There is always more, if you only allow yourself to be open and aware of it.
I of course and speaking in part with my invitation that was extended to my a few weeks ago at the Local Presidents Conference to be here in Ottawa for the Informal Conflict Management System (ICMS Program) Workshop.
When I originally received the invitation I was honoured and elated with the opportunity, for two reasons:
a) The offer was not an offer to sneeze at; in that meeting are people who are major ‘stakeholders’ in our department (although I would challenge that every employee is a stakeholder).
b) The topic, the departmental ICMS program. Informal Conflict Management for me means Conflict Resolution, which is basically looking at productive ways to “hear” each other’s stories and points of view. It starts with being aware of the people you are interacting with, not only their language but also the other indicators that may be displayed. Being approachable, non confrontational and sincere, it will help ease a stress filled situation if someone knows they can simply talk to you and you will listen. So much of the time people just need to be heard… conflicts arise when people don’t know how to listen.
There are so many nuances that could be thrown into the mix when dealing with active listening and effective communicating, however it can be simplified by realizing everyone has something important to say whether you agree with it or not. By listening to them express them selves. Respecting them as individuals who have something valid and valuable to say. And remaining true to your self and your experiences you will be able to accomplish a lot.
Three very productive days spent in the National Capital Area, although I wasn’t worried that I would have anything to contribute during this workshop I was a little bit concerned with if people would hear me. I have left the sessions knowing that I have been heard and also perhaps opened up people’s views on who might have valuable input in the ‘decision making’ areas of our workplace.
I am sitting in the airport leaving Ottawa, with the promise of there being more. I’ll be having conversations next week with the National President to talk about other opportunities for me to sit on National Committees.
Life is good. There is always more, if you only allow yourself to be open and aware of it.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Opening Up to New Ideas / Concepts
I'll start this blog with a little sushi analogy (as that is what I am enjoying right now).
I'm thinking to myself, I'm here in another city, in another province, in another culture. I don't have to worry about feeding anyone by myself, so why not go get some sushi.
Now I am only a beginner when it comes to the sushi world, but I have come to discover some things I really like and a few that I don't when it comes to sushi. Well I walk into this Fuji Sushi and I start looking at things that I already know I like, and I notice, they have a summer sushi special it has mango, strawberries and cheese in it!!! That's sushi? So I think to myself, what the heck and I get some (I'm going to try my first bite now). It's amazing!! Who would have thunk that something so out of the box would taste so good?
Today during the workshop I was attending, filled with an ADM, RD's, EOAP's & LR's.... (the more money you make the more often you are referred to by acronym) we went around the room introducing ourselves. Well an hour into the introductions my table comes around and I introduce myself as "a GSU Local President from Halifax".
Some whispering from person to person happens, people wondering what in the Hell a measly 'local president' is doing at this workshop among the upper echelons of our organization (my interpretation of this).
LOL, perfect, I'm already taken them out of their comfort zone and opened them up to something new.
Who would have thought that someone who is a 'front line' employee might have anything pertinent to offer to this National Recommendation Workshop process... well at least one person did, this is why I am here.
This makes me think of my whole leadership summer project, where along the lines of 'success' does one forget that they also once had good ideas and thoughts when they were on the front line? And why in the world would they think they were the exception and not the norm?
I can see where diversity comes into play here too. As soon as people found out who I was (i.e. my status) they made assumptions about me and about my validity of being at this table. Little did they know that I don't look at the status and rank of an individual, I look at the individual (just like me) as having something equally valid to say.
So I carefully chose my words when I introduced myself. I made sure everyone knew where I was coming from and who I represent, I personally paid no mind to what others were doing and thinking, yet it was brought to my attention by some of my colleagues after the session, and I am truly happy to have been that invitation for them to open their eyes to the little bit more they may have ignored before.
I spoke my truth of the perception and disconnect that is still prevalent in our workplace. About how those involved in the union/management relations on a day to day basis know the good relationship we have, but the majority of the culture in our workplace still views union involvement and activism as a bad thing. For me I spoke of being told it wouldn't look good on me if I was involved in the union, that it would be a career stopper.
More recently how when I approached someone to recruit into the local executive after that person expression an interest, she is all of the sudden concerned with what that might mean for her career. She was told that it wouldn't be a good thing to get involved with the union. It is still happening and going on, yet we choose to be blind to what we don't think we can fix.
I have written numerous articles for our departments regional newsletter surrounding the theme of how times have changed, how our region has a great relationship with management, not agreeing all the time yet always respecting each other and where we are coming from. (in my experience). Yet still that lingering perception exists.
How can we change that? By breaking down the barriers and expanding peoples perceptions. Opening them up to other peoples views (not having to agree, but listening). Being open to new ideas and concepts (not necessarily meaning adopting them for your own).
You just might be surprised. Someone you may have perceived as being beneath you might have some cutting edge and innovative ideas if you would just stop and listen. GASP.
For those who know me, you know I am not shy (not anymore). I will speak in front of a crowd, I will put forward my ideas and let them hang there, you choose... hear them or not. But remember by hearing them you don't need to agree or disagree. It's not good or bad, it simply is.
We can learn so much from each other if we just allow each other the time to listen and not feel the need to judge.
Tomorrow is yet another day... there is always (thankfully) more.
I'm thinking to myself, I'm here in another city, in another province, in another culture. I don't have to worry about feeding anyone by myself, so why not go get some sushi.
Now I am only a beginner when it comes to the sushi world, but I have come to discover some things I really like and a few that I don't when it comes to sushi. Well I walk into this Fuji Sushi and I start looking at things that I already know I like, and I notice, they have a summer sushi special it has mango, strawberries and cheese in it!!! That's sushi? So I think to myself, what the heck and I get some (I'm going to try my first bite now). It's amazing!! Who would have thunk that something so out of the box would taste so good?
Today during the workshop I was attending, filled with an ADM, RD's, EOAP's & LR's.... (the more money you make the more often you are referred to by acronym) we went around the room introducing ourselves. Well an hour into the introductions my table comes around and I introduce myself as "a GSU Local President from Halifax".
Some whispering from person to person happens, people wondering what in the Hell a measly 'local president' is doing at this workshop among the upper echelons of our organization (my interpretation of this).
LOL, perfect, I'm already taken them out of their comfort zone and opened them up to something new.
Who would have thought that someone who is a 'front line' employee might have anything pertinent to offer to this National Recommendation Workshop process... well at least one person did, this is why I am here.
This makes me think of my whole leadership summer project, where along the lines of 'success' does one forget that they also once had good ideas and thoughts when they were on the front line? And why in the world would they think they were the exception and not the norm?
I can see where diversity comes into play here too. As soon as people found out who I was (i.e. my status) they made assumptions about me and about my validity of being at this table. Little did they know that I don't look at the status and rank of an individual, I look at the individual (just like me) as having something equally valid to say.
So I carefully chose my words when I introduced myself. I made sure everyone knew where I was coming from and who I represent, I personally paid no mind to what others were doing and thinking, yet it was brought to my attention by some of my colleagues after the session, and I am truly happy to have been that invitation for them to open their eyes to the little bit more they may have ignored before.
I spoke my truth of the perception and disconnect that is still prevalent in our workplace. About how those involved in the union/management relations on a day to day basis know the good relationship we have, but the majority of the culture in our workplace still views union involvement and activism as a bad thing. For me I spoke of being told it wouldn't look good on me if I was involved in the union, that it would be a career stopper.
More recently how when I approached someone to recruit into the local executive after that person expression an interest, she is all of the sudden concerned with what that might mean for her career. She was told that it wouldn't be a good thing to get involved with the union. It is still happening and going on, yet we choose to be blind to what we don't think we can fix.
I have written numerous articles for our departments regional newsletter surrounding the theme of how times have changed, how our region has a great relationship with management, not agreeing all the time yet always respecting each other and where we are coming from. (in my experience). Yet still that lingering perception exists.
How can we change that? By breaking down the barriers and expanding peoples perceptions. Opening them up to other peoples views (not having to agree, but listening). Being open to new ideas and concepts (not necessarily meaning adopting them for your own).
You just might be surprised. Someone you may have perceived as being beneath you might have some cutting edge and innovative ideas if you would just stop and listen. GASP.
For those who know me, you know I am not shy (not anymore). I will speak in front of a crowd, I will put forward my ideas and let them hang there, you choose... hear them or not. But remember by hearing them you don't need to agree or disagree. It's not good or bad, it simply is.
We can learn so much from each other if we just allow each other the time to listen and not feel the need to judge.
Tomorrow is yet another day... there is always (thankfully) more.
Monday, October 01, 2007
A Day Playing Tourist
I walked to my meetings this morning over at the union office on Gilmour Street. It turned out that they were not all day meetings and I found myself with practically a whole day on my hands.
I walked through town to the Rideau Centre, spent some time BRIEFLY exploring the shops, come to think... why go shopping when I can be exploring the city?!?!
I left the building and was about to pull out my map to find my bearings when a colleague greeted me and kindly pointed me in the right direction. How is that for luck, in the middle of a city finding a face I know to guide me (thanks Randy)
I made my way to the Byward Market. What a fantastic place, carts and stalls lined the streets, vegetables, fruits, hand made wares, native crafts, oriental shawls, it was definitely a feast for the eyes. I picked up a bunch of ground cherries and a bottle of water and continued along.
I sat for a moment at a peace monument. I noticed the irony of the new United States Embassy being built right beside it. Across the street from where I sat was the National Art Gallery, standing outside of it on the corner of the road is a monstrous wrought iron spider sculpture.
I walked across the Alexandra Bridge to the Canadian Museum of Civilization. Before I entered I thought it would be best to find a place to eat.
As I waited, I wrote:
This region is so beautiful and rich in it's history. My feet are welcoming the break as I have been walking all day.
I have ordered a lovely lunch and have even decided to enjoy a glass of wine with my meal. After lunch I plan on spending the afternoon in the museum, maybe walk back through Gatineau Park to my hotel along the river.
I wish I had my journal with me on this day trip, it would be nice to find a bench under a tree and write.
I didn't spend as much time in the other exhibits, preferring to linger only when something really spoke to me. I spend the whole afternoon at the museum.
Instead of walking through what I earlier called Gatineau Park (it was just a little park behind the museum I wouldn't have gotten far). I decided to be proactive and walk down Place de Portages so I could locate the building where I was going to be in meetings tomorrow. Yes, sometimes details are important.
Now back in my room I kicked off my shoes and I am debating what to do this evening. I think a swim is called for then perhaps a shower and dinner... who knows. My feet are aching, my shoulders are sore (why I decided to bring my laptop with me all day I don't know). A nice soak would do me good and then I will move on from there.
Tomorrow is a new day, and there is always more.
I walked through town to the Rideau Centre, spent some time BRIEFLY exploring the shops, come to think... why go shopping when I can be exploring the city?!?!
I left the building and was about to pull out my map to find my bearings when a colleague greeted me and kindly pointed me in the right direction. How is that for luck, in the middle of a city finding a face I know to guide me (thanks Randy)
I made my way to the Byward Market. What a fantastic place, carts and stalls lined the streets, vegetables, fruits, hand made wares, native crafts, oriental shawls, it was definitely a feast for the eyes. I picked up a bunch of ground cherries and a bottle of water and continued along.
I sat for a moment at a peace monument. I noticed the irony of the new United States Embassy being built right beside it. Across the street from where I sat was the National Art Gallery, standing outside of it on the corner of the road is a monstrous wrought iron spider sculpture.
I walked across the Alexandra Bridge to the Canadian Museum of Civilization. Before I entered I thought it would be best to find a place to eat.
As I waited, I wrote:
Lunch at the Cafe de Musee next to the museum of Civilization, a window next to the Ottawa River overlooking the back of the Parliament Buildings.
This region is so beautiful and rich in it's history. My feet are welcoming the break as I have been walking all day.
I have ordered a lovely lunch and have even decided to enjoy a glass of wine with my meal. After lunch I plan on spending the afternoon in the museum, maybe walk back through Gatineau Park to my hotel along the river.
I wish I had my journal with me on this day trip, it would be nice to find a bench under a tree and write.
The museum was immense and amazing. The first floor is dedicated to the First People of Canada, the first nations from one shore to the other. I spent a lot of time at that exhibit. I wish I could touch some of the artifacts that were on display, yet all I could do was look and listen.
I didn't spend as much time in the other exhibits, preferring to linger only when something really spoke to me. I spend the whole afternoon at the museum.
Instead of walking through what I earlier called Gatineau Park (it was just a little park behind the museum I wouldn't have gotten far). I decided to be proactive and walk down Place de Portages so I could locate the building where I was going to be in meetings tomorrow. Yes, sometimes details are important.
Now back in my room I kicked off my shoes and I am debating what to do this evening. I think a swim is called for then perhaps a shower and dinner... who knows. My feet are aching, my shoulders are sore (why I decided to bring my laptop with me all day I don't know). A nice soak would do me good and then I will move on from there.
Tomorrow is a new day, and there is always more.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Ottawa - The Place of My Birth
I arrived at the Airport and was about to disembark the plane when I notice a co-worker who sat in the aisle next to me, middle seat (like me - mirrored image of where I was sitting) getting up to leave her aisle at the same time as me. I greeted her and let her in front of me, she was in the original Women's Leadership pilot program I was in in January 2006.
We are both arriving to Ottawa earlier than our meetings and departing on the same day (I believe). As I approached the baggage area I offered to introduce her to Louise and did so, leaving her as the baggage came out on the carousel. Curious that... the mirroring that come to mind when I am writing about bumping into her.
Louise and I had the opportunity to have dinner together tonight, it was really great to see her. Of course our conversations has sent my mind forward again. Just what am I creating, have I already created but not birthed and will I find meaningful for me to create upon my return.
I know I did not talk about my Reconnection Retreat at all. Also because I know I haven't fully laid it out there. I will do that this week during my stay in Ottawa/Gatineau.
I was born here, almost 32 years ago, yet this place seems very foreign to me (perhaps because I'm actually staying in Gatineau across the river from downtown Ottawa). Perhaps this is going to be another beginning for me, my birthplace, for the birth of new opportunities, perhaps a new path in my journey?
Why am I here? Well a few weeks ago at the President's Conference in Moncton I was invited to come here to participate in an Informal Conflict Management System Workshop along with some Union Colleagues and some Directors (and I would guess Labour Relations Officers) from my department.
Informal Conflict Management / Resolution... I know there is a huge reason why I am here and have been invited to this... it isn't about anything anyone knows about me, it is about how much I know I can offer TO this workshop, and how much I will gain FROM this workshop.
I am all about communicating, expressing your truth to another, allowing yourself to be heard and in turn hearing what another person has to or wants to say. Receiving that, releasing that, then engaging differently, as it is meaningful to you.
Yes, I have definitely manifested this trip, especially surrounding these conversations. I have no idea how it will unfold and I know I will leave Ottawa Airport on Thursday with new discoveries about myself, more clear on my voice and where I stand in my world.
That point where I stand... is a choice point, and by standing and engaging in choice constantly I will continue to emerge towards the future I create.
Amy has new space!! This has in turn created space for me and Exploring Our Potential Consulting... ideas are coming quickly and the possibilities are endless. Thank you Amy for inviting me to call you prior to my plane ride, I have space here to play with my creations.
Who knows what tomorrow is going to birth? I am looking forward to it... there is always more.
We are both arriving to Ottawa earlier than our meetings and departing on the same day (I believe). As I approached the baggage area I offered to introduce her to Louise and did so, leaving her as the baggage came out on the carousel. Curious that... the mirroring that come to mind when I am writing about bumping into her.
Louise and I had the opportunity to have dinner together tonight, it was really great to see her. Of course our conversations has sent my mind forward again. Just what am I creating, have I already created but not birthed and will I find meaningful for me to create upon my return.
I know I did not talk about my Reconnection Retreat at all. Also because I know I haven't fully laid it out there. I will do that this week during my stay in Ottawa/Gatineau.
I was born here, almost 32 years ago, yet this place seems very foreign to me (perhaps because I'm actually staying in Gatineau across the river from downtown Ottawa). Perhaps this is going to be another beginning for me, my birthplace, for the birth of new opportunities, perhaps a new path in my journey?
Why am I here? Well a few weeks ago at the President's Conference in Moncton I was invited to come here to participate in an Informal Conflict Management System Workshop along with some Union Colleagues and some Directors (and I would guess Labour Relations Officers) from my department.
Informal Conflict Management / Resolution... I know there is a huge reason why I am here and have been invited to this... it isn't about anything anyone knows about me, it is about how much I know I can offer TO this workshop, and how much I will gain FROM this workshop.
I am all about communicating, expressing your truth to another, allowing yourself to be heard and in turn hearing what another person has to or wants to say. Receiving that, releasing that, then engaging differently, as it is meaningful to you.
Yes, I have definitely manifested this trip, especially surrounding these conversations. I have no idea how it will unfold and I know I will leave Ottawa Airport on Thursday with new discoveries about myself, more clear on my voice and where I stand in my world.
That point where I stand... is a choice point, and by standing and engaging in choice constantly I will continue to emerge towards the future I create.
Amy has new space!! This has in turn created space for me and Exploring Our Potential Consulting... ideas are coming quickly and the possibilities are endless. Thank you Amy for inviting me to call you prior to my plane ride, I have space here to play with my creations.
Who knows what tomorrow is going to birth? I am looking forward to it... there is always more.
Able to connect yet the “Signal is Low”
I’m sitting at the Halifax International Airport right now waiting for my flight to Ottawa. I’ve been on the go for a few weeks now, away from home and very busy when I am home or in the office. I am tired (probably because I was up late with my Finance Colleagues last week).
I was physically and emotionally exhausted when I woke up on Saturday. I had big plans to do something with my kids while I was home as I was only going to be home one and a half days before this trip. When I woke up Saturday morning (at 6:15 a.m. thank you Sara) I knew I was exhausted. As I started to do my laundry, clean the house, plan for my in-laws arrival the day after I return home from Ottawa, I began to notice my emotional exhaustion. This is not what I wanted for my day home with the girls. I wanted to spend some quality time not cleaning or worrying about getting the house in order for company.
Mike’s Mom called and I overheard her ask Jessica what we were going to have for Thanksgiving Dinner… crap, now I have to plan that too. I know this is not something I “need to” do, but my culturally conditioned self is one of a gracious hostess, my mother taught me well (thank you mom :o) ), and there is a little part of me that feels it would be HORRIBLE if I wasn’t the hostess with the mostest. Ah, Swiss Chalet here I come!
So I began to worry, cry, get angry, frustrated… none of it having to do with Thanksgiving, Cleaning or anything of the sort. ALL having to do with my decision to clean, worry, be miserable instead of DOING WHAT I WANTED TO!
I was so exhausted I couldn’t see my choice in any of this. Mike was the invitation I needed. He asked what I needed to do, I told him I really wanted to do something with the kids and he stated the obvious… “So go then I will take care of things”. DUH, how simple was that. It was a huge relief to my body, mind and spirit just to hear those words and to say yes to myself.
It’s funny when you are at that point of exhaustion within yourself that you start to forget how easy it can be just to choose and make deacons according to what is meaningful for you. How easy it is to fall into the old patterns of needing to have a clean house for company etc… forgetting previous conversations with my Mother and Father in-law that they don’t care what the house looks like, they just want to see us and the kids.
Knowing what I know, yet allowing myself to come to a point where it made sense to make things difficult and seem impossible. Slipping into the victim stance, feeling I had no control, yet in that moment realizing yes, I CAN choose to do or not do, to say or not say, as I feel it. Remembering, designing the type of world I live in takes my moving forward, constantly consciously choosing, creating situations and accepting opportunities that are meaningful to me.
Taking time to recharge myself, on my own terms, everyday, not just when I am almost drained.
When I arrive at the airport in Ottawa I will be greeted by a dear friend. Dinner with her I’m sure is going to awaken something more in me I have been unconscious to.
Look out Louise, here I come!!!
Tonight I will get some uninterrupted sleep. Tomorrow is another day, there is always more!
I was physically and emotionally exhausted when I woke up on Saturday. I had big plans to do something with my kids while I was home as I was only going to be home one and a half days before this trip. When I woke up Saturday morning (at 6:15 a.m. thank you Sara) I knew I was exhausted. As I started to do my laundry, clean the house, plan for my in-laws arrival the day after I return home from Ottawa, I began to notice my emotional exhaustion. This is not what I wanted for my day home with the girls. I wanted to spend some quality time not cleaning or worrying about getting the house in order for company.
Mike’s Mom called and I overheard her ask Jessica what we were going to have for Thanksgiving Dinner… crap, now I have to plan that too. I know this is not something I “need to” do, but my culturally conditioned self is one of a gracious hostess, my mother taught me well (thank you mom :o) ), and there is a little part of me that feels it would be HORRIBLE if I wasn’t the hostess with the mostest. Ah, Swiss Chalet here I come!
So I began to worry, cry, get angry, frustrated… none of it having to do with Thanksgiving, Cleaning or anything of the sort. ALL having to do with my decision to clean, worry, be miserable instead of DOING WHAT I WANTED TO!
I was so exhausted I couldn’t see my choice in any of this. Mike was the invitation I needed. He asked what I needed to do, I told him I really wanted to do something with the kids and he stated the obvious… “So go then I will take care of things”. DUH, how simple was that. It was a huge relief to my body, mind and spirit just to hear those words and to say yes to myself.
It’s funny when you are at that point of exhaustion within yourself that you start to forget how easy it can be just to choose and make deacons according to what is meaningful for you. How easy it is to fall into the old patterns of needing to have a clean house for company etc… forgetting previous conversations with my Mother and Father in-law that they don’t care what the house looks like, they just want to see us and the kids.
Knowing what I know, yet allowing myself to come to a point where it made sense to make things difficult and seem impossible. Slipping into the victim stance, feeling I had no control, yet in that moment realizing yes, I CAN choose to do or not do, to say or not say, as I feel it. Remembering, designing the type of world I live in takes my moving forward, constantly consciously choosing, creating situations and accepting opportunities that are meaningful to me.
Taking time to recharge myself, on my own terms, everyday, not just when I am almost drained.
When I arrive at the airport in Ottawa I will be greeted by a dear friend. Dinner with her I’m sure is going to awaken something more in me I have been unconscious to.
Look out Louise, here I come!!!
Tonight I will get some uninterrupted sleep. Tomorrow is another day, there is always more!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Moonlight Reconnection
The embers are smoldering from tonight's campfire.
The moon rose eerily and orange this evening and it is so full and bright it casts a shadow on my page.
It's 12:45 a.m. I am sitting out in a lawn chair in my pyjama's towel wrapped around my recently washed hair. The air is warm, the moon is so amazing I can't possible go to sleep without coming out to bask in the moonlight.
Bathing in the moonlight, the Autumn Equinox just past. It is warm and clear. Save for the traffic in the distance there are night songs to be heard.
The embers crackle every now and then, the bats making noises during their moonlight dance. A duck is quacking on the ocean in front of me. The constant son of the crickets and slight sound of something in the water. I am fully awake, fully enlivened and at peace!
The moon is brilliant tonight like the sun during the day, Shadows are cast all around me.
I saw a heron twice today. This evening while doing all those card readings on keep drawing my attention to it... the Feminine. Connecting back and embracing Mother Earth. Celebrating all she has to offer and listening to her wisdom.
How quickly and easily it is to let these moments slip by. Moments like this, sitting solitaire in the moonlight.
A splash on the waters edge, grabbing my attention away from these words...
Moonscape... in its incomparable beauty, Oak Island in the Autumn Moon.
The moon rose eerily and orange this evening and it is so full and bright it casts a shadow on my page.
It's 12:45 a.m. I am sitting out in a lawn chair in my pyjama's towel wrapped around my recently washed hair. The air is warm, the moon is so amazing I can't possible go to sleep without coming out to bask in the moonlight.
Bathing in the moonlight, the Autumn Equinox just past. It is warm and clear. Save for the traffic in the distance there are night songs to be heard.
The embers crackle every now and then, the bats making noises during their moonlight dance. A duck is quacking on the ocean in front of me. The constant son of the crickets and slight sound of something in the water. I am fully awake, fully enlivened and at peace!
The moon is brilliant tonight like the sun during the day, Shadows are cast all around me.
I saw a heron twice today. This evening while doing all those card readings on keep drawing my attention to it... the Feminine. Connecting back and embracing Mother Earth. Celebrating all she has to offer and listening to her wisdom.
How quickly and easily it is to let these moments slip by. Moments like this, sitting solitaire in the moonlight.
A splash on the waters edge, grabbing my attention away from these words...
Moonscape... in its incomparable beauty, Oak Island in the Autumn Moon.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The godforce in Flow
I have had an interesting series of events in the past 10 days that have rejuvenated and refocused my intentions.
Last week at the union event in Moncton I remembered my deeply ingrained desire to make this world a better place, this is what first drew me towards becoming active in the union. Taking action in someway instead of sitting by and complaining about the injustices in the world. I spent much of my free time last week trying to figure out why I was there, in the end it was to renew my sense shaping the type of world I will see (see Blog Entry).
Mike & my girls picked me up from the train station and I was off right away to the ReDefining Education Family Retreat at Oceanstone. I was able to keep my girls with me for this workshop. What an amazing and magical weekend. Anne incorporated Huna into the children's program, there was alot of talk of connections with the elements (nature) and listening to you instincts.
Seeing an eleven year old sitting on the ocean's edge on a rock in a lotus position for 10 - 15 minutes listening to himself, seeing 3 - 4 year olds running out in the middle of a rainstorm to yell and dance in the rain, to seeing some 7 - 8 year old girls exploring the forest.
Sitting on the lush floor of the forest with all of the children, listening to the secrets that could be revealed to us. One child heard "rain" and it began to rain almost immediately afterwards. Playing tag on a grassy knoll overlooking the ocean. Exploring the beach and the gifts it had to offer. Teaching a sun salutation to a 4 year old who then helped me teach others, welcoming breath, welcoming the sun, embracing the elements.
Ages ranging from 3 to 14, boys and girls both well represented. Learning to slow down and notice their surroundings and their breath. It was pretty amazing.
This weekend reminded me of the godforces in flow, without having their spirit squashed.
Then my first day back from Oceanstone I have my first School Advisory Committee meeting of the year. I am presented with a grant application from the principal who encouraged me to consider my parenting workshop in association with the grant application. This brought it all back for me... my original intention, what began my business Conscious Parenting was initiated and inspired by my sitting on the School Advisory Committee and hearing of some disconnects, wondering if something could be done about it... realizing I could do something about it.
My original intention and inspiration has come back full circle and presented itself in quite a marvelous way.
In the words of Louise, breathing is good... and there is always more.
Last week at the union event in Moncton I remembered my deeply ingrained desire to make this world a better place, this is what first drew me towards becoming active in the union. Taking action in someway instead of sitting by and complaining about the injustices in the world. I spent much of my free time last week trying to figure out why I was there, in the end it was to renew my sense shaping the type of world I will see (see Blog Entry).
Mike & my girls picked me up from the train station and I was off right away to the ReDefining Education Family Retreat at Oceanstone. I was able to keep my girls with me for this workshop. What an amazing and magical weekend. Anne incorporated Huna into the children's program, there was alot of talk of connections with the elements (nature) and listening to you instincts.
Seeing an eleven year old sitting on the ocean's edge on a rock in a lotus position for 10 - 15 minutes listening to himself, seeing 3 - 4 year olds running out in the middle of a rainstorm to yell and dance in the rain, to seeing some 7 - 8 year old girls exploring the forest.
Sitting on the lush floor of the forest with all of the children, listening to the secrets that could be revealed to us. One child heard "rain" and it began to rain almost immediately afterwards. Playing tag on a grassy knoll overlooking the ocean. Exploring the beach and the gifts it had to offer. Teaching a sun salutation to a 4 year old who then helped me teach others, welcoming breath, welcoming the sun, embracing the elements.
Ages ranging from 3 to 14, boys and girls both well represented. Learning to slow down and notice their surroundings and their breath. It was pretty amazing.
This weekend reminded me of the godforces in flow, without having their spirit squashed.
Then my first day back from Oceanstone I have my first School Advisory Committee meeting of the year. I am presented with a grant application from the principal who encouraged me to consider my parenting workshop in association with the grant application. This brought it all back for me... my original intention, what began my business Conscious Parenting was initiated and inspired by my sitting on the School Advisory Committee and hearing of some disconnects, wondering if something could be done about it... realizing I could do something about it.
My original intention and inspiration has come back full circle and presented itself in quite a marvelous way.
In the words of Louise, breathing is good... and there is always more.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Observing Behavior in a Holographic Universe…
After the official conference I participated in this week as an Atlantic President I was invited to stay and observe the National Council meetings.
Content is irrelevant for the context of what I will be speaking on here, what I find most fascinating is the language used, the passion that surfaced, the conviction of one’s beliefs, truths and sense of justice. The body language that is being displayed. The side bar conversations and groups that conjugate during breaks of the meetings.
As an observer this is very interesting. To see how like minds gravitated towards like minds, people are very comfortable with people who share the same viewpoints. Yet when faced with a differing opinion they begin to feel almost personally attached and they go on the defensive and protective mode. When this happens you tend to become deaf to others words. Which was an invitation for me to consider where in my life do I stop listening because someone else’s truth is not aligned with my own?
Where do I still tune people out when I have no resonance with their words?
Where do I fail to see someone for who they are because I don’t understand their language?
Do I have my own body reactions that I display when someone speaks about something that is not my truth?
My body is telling me yes, I do these things still. Now I need to be aware of this and I really belive that I need to remain grounded, connected in my body, fully present when engaging with others (everyone, all the time).
How can I do this? I am wondering. Perhaps it comes with more practice?
I find the connecting with myself takes a conscious effort. Prior to engaging in a workshop, participating in a WEL-Systems program, or talking with people conscious I take time to breathe, focus on the base of my spine, and create the space for whatever comes up to move and create space for others.
What I find I’m noticing lately is I choose to be involved in work, union and other activities, and in choosing to do so I am engaging with other people whom I may not resonate with and I find it difficult to focus on seeing their godforce. This week is providing me with the opportunity to recognize that within myself, noticing that yes I am choosing to remain here with these people, and I see how I choose to spend my time.
Talking with people I choose to speak to, engaging in after hour activities if my spirit moves me to do so.
Noticing how much of the time I am preoccupied with thoughts of my children, my finance and how much they mean to me. Missing just being able to see their faces, wondering what they are up to, thinking of the little things they do that make me smile, missing conversations with Mike.
And I wonder why I choose to stay here for the full week… what kind of opportunity will present itself to me by my remaining her for the “optional” days to observe the National Council meetings.
Is it simply for me to recognise within others, things I need to pay attention to within myself?
Is it to become connected to the part of me that is pulled to want to help out and make a difference in the world we live in (that I had originally identified as an activist)?
To get back to seeing the injustices in the world and wondering where and what I can do to make a difference.
Yes that resonates with me.
Life is good and tomorrow is another day.
Content is irrelevant for the context of what I will be speaking on here, what I find most fascinating is the language used, the passion that surfaced, the conviction of one’s beliefs, truths and sense of justice. The body language that is being displayed. The side bar conversations and groups that conjugate during breaks of the meetings.
As an observer this is very interesting. To see how like minds gravitated towards like minds, people are very comfortable with people who share the same viewpoints. Yet when faced with a differing opinion they begin to feel almost personally attached and they go on the defensive and protective mode. When this happens you tend to become deaf to others words. Which was an invitation for me to consider where in my life do I stop listening because someone else’s truth is not aligned with my own?
Where do I still tune people out when I have no resonance with their words?
Where do I fail to see someone for who they are because I don’t understand their language?
Do I have my own body reactions that I display when someone speaks about something that is not my truth?
My body is telling me yes, I do these things still. Now I need to be aware of this and I really belive that I need to remain grounded, connected in my body, fully present when engaging with others (everyone, all the time).
How can I do this? I am wondering. Perhaps it comes with more practice?
I find the connecting with myself takes a conscious effort. Prior to engaging in a workshop, participating in a WEL-Systems program, or talking with people conscious I take time to breathe, focus on the base of my spine, and create the space for whatever comes up to move and create space for others.
What I find I’m noticing lately is I choose to be involved in work, union and other activities, and in choosing to do so I am engaging with other people whom I may not resonate with and I find it difficult to focus on seeing their godforce. This week is providing me with the opportunity to recognize that within myself, noticing that yes I am choosing to remain here with these people, and I see how I choose to spend my time.
Talking with people I choose to speak to, engaging in after hour activities if my spirit moves me to do so.
Noticing how much of the time I am preoccupied with thoughts of my children, my finance and how much they mean to me. Missing just being able to see their faces, wondering what they are up to, thinking of the little things they do that make me smile, missing conversations with Mike.
And I wonder why I choose to stay here for the full week… what kind of opportunity will present itself to me by my remaining her for the “optional” days to observe the National Council meetings.
Is it simply for me to recognise within others, things I need to pay attention to within myself?
Is it to become connected to the part of me that is pulled to want to help out and make a difference in the world we live in (that I had originally identified as an activist)?
To get back to seeing the injustices in the world and wondering where and what I can do to make a difference.
Yes that resonates with me.
Life is good and tomorrow is another day.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Whirlwind Tour, Remembering...
I'm in Moncton for a whole week on a Union related conference, learning lots and opening my eyes to so many things that can be simply fixed if people just start taking responsibility for their own lives, their own futures, standing at cause in the world.
Ah but there will be many articles stemming from this week. I began to write one last night yet I had so much to write about a whole different subject emerged and I don't yet know if that piece that presented itself last night is another article or a blog entry.
Tonight I managed to write the article I wanted to do on this conference, and again in that piece came another piece that I am not sure where it will end up going.
I am almost done compiling all my interviews from my summer project I should be able to officially begin my article by the end of the week (perhaps the train ride home).
What I have come to notice this trip is that after 2½ days away from my family I am missing them like crazy. Not an hour passes that I don't think about them and wonder how they are doing.
I am so looking forward to this weekend Redefining Education Retreat at Oceanstone. To be able to see my girls experience something that is totally out of the box and see how they as individual choose to move throughout their weekend is going to be absolutely amazing.
I had lunch with Anne on Friday and she shared with me her vision for the weekend and I was moved profoundly by the excitement of the possibilities that are going to be out there... and endless when it comes to our children expressing themselves in this safe and free environment. It will truly be an amazing weekend.
As I`m sitting in the lobby at the Delta Beausejour in Moncton, New Brunswick I think I shall sign off now.
Ah but there will be many articles stemming from this week. I began to write one last night yet I had so much to write about a whole different subject emerged and I don't yet know if that piece that presented itself last night is another article or a blog entry.
Tonight I managed to write the article I wanted to do on this conference, and again in that piece came another piece that I am not sure where it will end up going.
I am almost done compiling all my interviews from my summer project I should be able to officially begin my article by the end of the week (perhaps the train ride home).
What I have come to notice this trip is that after 2½ days away from my family I am missing them like crazy. Not an hour passes that I don't think about them and wonder how they are doing.
I am so looking forward to this weekend Redefining Education Retreat at Oceanstone. To be able to see my girls experience something that is totally out of the box and see how they as individual choose to move throughout their weekend is going to be absolutely amazing.
I had lunch with Anne on Friday and she shared with me her vision for the weekend and I was moved profoundly by the excitement of the possibilities that are going to be out there... and endless when it comes to our children expressing themselves in this safe and free environment. It will truly be an amazing weekend.
As I`m sitting in the lobby at the Delta Beausejour in Moncton, New Brunswick I think I shall sign off now.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Sinus Cold & Making Space
I'm walking around in a bit of a fog the past few days, exhausted from all the renovations, now stuffy with this silly sinus thing.
I feel I am heading towards the end of a major spiral however I am not sure what will manifest itself. I have been worrying about details (so not me) and have literally cleared my desk off of all miscellaneous junk, followed up on outstanding issues, and created game plans for future movement.
I even did a "To Do List" and have all but 2 items checked off already. New opportunities lie ahead in all aspects of my life. I can feel it, just right there, waiting for me to wake up and walk into it.
I'm ready for the craziness that will be my next 2 - 3 weeks. Off to Moncton for a week returning just to turn around and head out to Oceanstone for Anne & Celine's ReDefining Education Workshop. Followed by a week of work planning a few workshops and events that are entirely work related, right into my next Conscious Parenting Workshop which is being held at Balance Naturopathic Health Centre September 24 & 25, 2007. (To register for this, please contact Balance Health Centre directly)
The final week of this month I will be off to a workshop at Oak Island, then some serenity?
LOL... who knows, I really feel you have to find serenity in your everyday movements, as you remain centred within yourself to move through your days in an authentic way.
All in all, I am ready for the upcoming month, looking forward to spending time with my girls at Oceanstone... and any other moment I can steal.
Life is indeed good... and there is always more.
I feel I am heading towards the end of a major spiral however I am not sure what will manifest itself. I have been worrying about details (so not me) and have literally cleared my desk off of all miscellaneous junk, followed up on outstanding issues, and created game plans for future movement.
I even did a "To Do List" and have all but 2 items checked off already. New opportunities lie ahead in all aspects of my life. I can feel it, just right there, waiting for me to wake up and walk into it.
I'm ready for the craziness that will be my next 2 - 3 weeks. Off to Moncton for a week returning just to turn around and head out to Oceanstone for Anne & Celine's ReDefining Education Workshop. Followed by a week of work planning a few workshops and events that are entirely work related, right into my next Conscious Parenting Workshop which is being held at Balance Naturopathic Health Centre September 24 & 25, 2007. (To register for this, please contact Balance Health Centre directly)
The final week of this month I will be off to a workshop at Oak Island, then some serenity?
LOL... who knows, I really feel you have to find serenity in your everyday movements, as you remain centred within yourself to move through your days in an authentic way.
All in all, I am ready for the upcoming month, looking forward to spending time with my girls at Oceanstone... and any other moment I can steal.
Life is indeed good... and there is always more.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Restless when Static
Breaks, rests, vacation... Although I had so much fun with my girls, friends and family, part of me felt that all of this time was making things static. I began to worry and had a lack of trust in the process of allowing things to happen with out needing to be constantly pushing them.
As I kicked back and enjoyed my time with my kids, my friends and my family there was a little nagging voice in the back of my mind..."But you are not DOING anything". I began to get really restless in the past few weeks, needing to see the status of upcoming workshops & retreats that are coming up in the fall and trying to nail down the details.
I had to go very quickly from being the detail and doer person to having 2 of my workshops arranged and organized by others. All there is for me to do is be present and who up.
There is a control issue here fro me. It is difficult to sit back and take my hands off of something that I have become very passionate about. 75% or the time I am enjoying the notion of just having to show up and the other 25% rears it's head and says "make sure it's on track"!
Letting go... in those times I fell restless I really just need to... Stop... Breathe.. and let go. Knowing the manifestation spiral is already in motion, trusting in the process, trusting in myself.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? There is always more.
As I kicked back and enjoyed my time with my kids, my friends and my family there was a little nagging voice in the back of my mind..."But you are not DOING anything". I began to get really restless in the past few weeks, needing to see the status of upcoming workshops & retreats that are coming up in the fall and trying to nail down the details.
I had to go very quickly from being the detail and doer person to having 2 of my workshops arranged and organized by others. All there is for me to do is be present and who up.
There is a control issue here fro me. It is difficult to sit back and take my hands off of something that I have become very passionate about. 75% or the time I am enjoying the notion of just having to show up and the other 25% rears it's head and says "make sure it's on track"!
Letting go... in those times I fell restless I really just need to... Stop... Breathe.. and let go. Knowing the manifestation spiral is already in motion, trusting in the process, trusting in myself.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? There is always more.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Position and Title don't make a Leader
My thoughts are riddled today with leaders and leadership; power and power trips. With what is beneath decisions and actions that seen cold hearted, malicious and 'personal'.
What lies beneath it all? The individual in their full majesty. Along with all the filters from their past experiences, sometimes clouded with preconceived notions of others, judgments and assumptions about that other individual or collective.
Through this project a good proportion of the leaders I have been speaking with have said how important it is to engage with your team in an equitable way (this does not mean equal). This is about seeing each person as an individual, finding out about them and working with them how it works for them.
What is important to an individual isn't always the same for the whole collective.
What makes one person's needs, goals and objectives matter more than another? Perhaps a lack of respect, empathy, understanding and compassion? Perhaps ego or fear of losing control? May it's the need to keep up pretences and appear to be running a tight ship? Forgetting that the individual people are what makes the ship run, maintaining it, making repairs and keeping it moving forward.
If you take the focus off the people your ship will eventually sink. Especially when the sense of personal power turns to a power trip and the 'captain' begins to dictate and micromanage others lives and styles of getting the job done. When it begins to become important to make an employee a carbon copy of yourself or of what you think they should be, instead off harnessing their individuality, strengths and ideas.
Remembering that any collective, business or organization is only that because of the individual people who do the work.
Diversity... embracing and recognizing it in the individuals of the collective. Working towards a creative workplace, where ideas, thoughts and different viewpoints are celebrated and valued.
Having a position and title indeed does not make a leader. There is so much more to it than that.
Life is good... and there is always more.
What lies beneath it all? The individual in their full majesty. Along with all the filters from their past experiences, sometimes clouded with preconceived notions of others, judgments and assumptions about that other individual or collective.
Through this project a good proportion of the leaders I have been speaking with have said how important it is to engage with your team in an equitable way (this does not mean equal). This is about seeing each person as an individual, finding out about them and working with them how it works for them.
What is important to an individual isn't always the same for the whole collective.
What makes one person's needs, goals and objectives matter more than another? Perhaps a lack of respect, empathy, understanding and compassion? Perhaps ego or fear of losing control? May it's the need to keep up pretences and appear to be running a tight ship? Forgetting that the individual people are what makes the ship run, maintaining it, making repairs and keeping it moving forward.
If you take the focus off the people your ship will eventually sink. Especially when the sense of personal power turns to a power trip and the 'captain' begins to dictate and micromanage others lives and styles of getting the job done. When it begins to become important to make an employee a carbon copy of yourself or of what you think they should be, instead off harnessing their individuality, strengths and ideas.
Remembering that any collective, business or organization is only that because of the individual people who do the work.
Diversity... embracing and recognizing it in the individuals of the collective. Working towards a creative workplace, where ideas, thoughts and different viewpoints are celebrated and valued.
Having a position and title indeed does not make a leader. There is so much more to it than that.
Life is good... and there is always more.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Somethings I noticed this weekend.
- I need to take more time to listen to my kids when they want my attention, in that moment if possible.
- When Mike would tell me I ignore the kids (and him) the first few times they try to get my attention he was telling the truth (who knew).
- My children are brilliant (as are all of our children) if only we took the time to hear what they are saying.
- It's fun to let loose and dance in a field when nobody is around.
- Kids like to run, even when they fall and you are comforting them, they sob out they want to run again.
- Running with my 3 year old makes me feel like a child again.
- Remember to always let Jessica be a child and have fun... she is only twelve (oh my god she is twelve already?!?!?)
- Running into the ocean in your underwear in the middle of nowhere is invigorating!
- I have more courage than I thought (mice nests, spiders, big ass bugs I can handle it).
- I have discovered that when life gives me lemons I am automatically choosing to make lemonade. :o) Me an optimist? When did that happen? (maybe in Jan 2006)
Renos on my house are in full swing, I'm exhausted and am looking forward to lying down tonight.
Until tomorrow... when there is always more.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
A personal ah-ha in a WEL-System context
As I was engaging in a coaching session last night and moving through the "White Feather" meditation I made some connections that were not yet in my conscious awareness.
As we move through the crown chakra, imagining your spine as a hollow tube (your core), and down through each of the other 7 major chakra's down to the base of your spine.
I noticed that as we are creating the space to get grounded or connected if you will to the base of your spine, we need to move through each of those areas and every thing they represent.
So as the base of your spine is where many cultures and people believe spirit touches tissue, or where your Chi or Ki resides. It is also below the 1st chakra centre.
In the WEL-Systems context we need to allow our signal to flow through each of the 7 centres, which each represent or often correlate to different things in our lives. Like Spirituality, Identity, Voice/Choice, Beliefs/Values/Attitudes, Ability to take action on your own behalf, Early Childhood/Culturally Conditioned Self, and Safety Issues.
We need to CUT through all of those held beliefs that we may have held about ourselves in order to truly connect with SELF, authentic self, your godforce, spirit, soul, whatever you want to name it.
This isn't to say we don't honour the waves that come up while opening up and creating space for the information to present. Ride each of them out, notice them, allow them to move you in whatever direction they may need to with each passing breath, remembering that where spirit touches tissue is the driver of it all.
When you are truly grounded in your body... you are more apt to listen to your Signal # 1, your authentic self.
All of this was in my awareness in one form or another... but last night they just fell into a totally different light for me. It has been a very interesting insight to notice.
Those who don't know what the heck I'm talking about... but are curious... drop me a line we can talk.
Tomorrow is another day... and there is always more.
As we move through the crown chakra, imagining your spine as a hollow tube (your core), and down through each of the other 7 major chakra's down to the base of your spine.
I noticed that as we are creating the space to get grounded or connected if you will to the base of your spine, we need to move through each of those areas and every thing they represent.
So as the base of your spine is where many cultures and people believe spirit touches tissue, or where your Chi or Ki resides. It is also below the 1st chakra centre.
In the WEL-Systems context we need to allow our signal to flow through each of the 7 centres, which each represent or often correlate to different things in our lives. Like Spirituality, Identity, Voice/Choice, Beliefs/Values/Attitudes, Ability to take action on your own behalf, Early Childhood/Culturally Conditioned Self, and Safety Issues.
We need to CUT through all of those held beliefs that we may have held about ourselves in order to truly connect with SELF, authentic self, your godforce, spirit, soul, whatever you want to name it.
This isn't to say we don't honour the waves that come up while opening up and creating space for the information to present. Ride each of them out, notice them, allow them to move you in whatever direction they may need to with each passing breath, remembering that where spirit touches tissue is the driver of it all.
When you are truly grounded in your body... you are more apt to listen to your Signal # 1, your authentic self.
All of this was in my awareness in one form or another... but last night they just fell into a totally different light for me. It has been a very interesting insight to notice.
Those who don't know what the heck I'm talking about... but are curious... drop me a line we can talk.
Tomorrow is another day... and there is always more.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Monday, Monday...
Although I have to work, today is all about Jessica. For the first time I am trusting her implicitly...
No that isn't correct, it isn't about trusting her, it is about me letting go and releasing "control" over my daughter.
Today I am letting go of my fears and my story about Jessica being too young. My gorgeous twelve year old will be walking down to catch the 9:37 ferry this morning and she will be joining me at work for the day.
While there she will probably be planning her "End of Summer Yard Sale".
Although I have lots of work today it will be nice to have her around. We will be able to go for a walk during lunch, enjoy the ferry ride home tonight and our walk home.
At 6 p.m. we have reservations to enjoy a tasters night with some friends of mine, Sarah & Christa. Jessica has been looking forward to doing this with us (although she is very afraid of Sushi)!
As Jessica is getting older, and as I see her more as the individual she is, I am more and more comfortable and happy to be able to share things like this from my life, with her.
I am in constant awe of the young woman she is.
No that isn't correct, it isn't about trusting her, it is about me letting go and releasing "control" over my daughter.
Today I am letting go of my fears and my story about Jessica being too young. My gorgeous twelve year old will be walking down to catch the 9:37 ferry this morning and she will be joining me at work for the day.
While there she will probably be planning her "End of Summer Yard Sale".
Although I have lots of work today it will be nice to have her around. We will be able to go for a walk during lunch, enjoy the ferry ride home tonight and our walk home.
At 6 p.m. we have reservations to enjoy a tasters night with some friends of mine, Sarah & Christa. Jessica has been looking forward to doing this with us (although she is very afraid of Sushi)!
As Jessica is getting older, and as I see her more as the individual she is, I am more and more comfortable and happy to be able to share things like this from my life, with her.
I am in constant awe of the young woman she is.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Change is Inevitable
The winds of change are continuously blowing. As each day passes, with each new piece of knowledge, with each experience... we change.
Every corporation, organization or association goes through changes, re-organizing, shuffling, transition, whatever. Some organizations are constantly changing, in others you only notice it happening every once and a while.
Truth be told we all, individuals and organizations, are constantly changing. It's a part of life... like each breath. So why are so many so strongly affected by change? Is it the fear of the unknown or the loss of comfort of what you are used to?
Change or the prospect of change effects ever person differently. Some people get stressed out about it. Others are consumed by it, try to find out how it will affect them. Some others still will sit back and be shaped by it, feeling they have no control over it, that there is nothing they can say to make a difference.
Some people will feel they have no control over it, that they are victims to other peoples decisions. There are those who are resistant to change. Those who are unhappy with it and those who will do nothing but bitch and complain. Cynicism breeds around those people.
Where is the power? Within yourself! You can't always change the way things go, but you can choose to make your voice heard.
You can choose to get involved to help shape the way things will go. Or at the very least you can choose not to dwell on the outcome if you truly feel it is out of your hands... you can choose to educate yourself and make the best of the situation, whatever it may be.
You can choose to remove yourself from the conversations of people who are sitting around bitching and complaining, who are not willing to do anything about it but bitch and moan. You can even choose to have a different type of conversation during those times inviting that person (people) to get out of the static cycle of complaining and move forward into making a difference.
We all can effect change. Yet most of us don't realize our own personal power... voice, opinion, unique view points.
Change is inevitable... so realize that we all have the power to shape it.
Tomorrow is another day... there is always more.
Every corporation, organization or association goes through changes, re-organizing, shuffling, transition, whatever. Some organizations are constantly changing, in others you only notice it happening every once and a while.
Truth be told we all, individuals and organizations, are constantly changing. It's a part of life... like each breath. So why are so many so strongly affected by change? Is it the fear of the unknown or the loss of comfort of what you are used to?
Change or the prospect of change effects ever person differently. Some people get stressed out about it. Others are consumed by it, try to find out how it will affect them. Some others still will sit back and be shaped by it, feeling they have no control over it, that there is nothing they can say to make a difference.
Some people will feel they have no control over it, that they are victims to other peoples decisions. There are those who are resistant to change. Those who are unhappy with it and those who will do nothing but bitch and complain. Cynicism breeds around those people.
Where is the power? Within yourself! You can't always change the way things go, but you can choose to make your voice heard.
You can choose to get involved to help shape the way things will go. Or at the very least you can choose not to dwell on the outcome if you truly feel it is out of your hands... you can choose to educate yourself and make the best of the situation, whatever it may be.
You can choose to remove yourself from the conversations of people who are sitting around bitching and complaining, who are not willing to do anything about it but bitch and moan. You can even choose to have a different type of conversation during those times inviting that person (people) to get out of the static cycle of complaining and move forward into making a difference.
We all can effect change. Yet most of us don't realize our own personal power... voice, opinion, unique view points.
Change is inevitable... so realize that we all have the power to shape it.
Tomorrow is another day... there is always more.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Back to the Grind
I spent much of yesterday dreading coming back to work today.
It is supposed to rain.
I am once again down to 1 vehicle (I had use of my mothers car for the past week).
I'd have to get up and mobile early (to leave the house before 7 a.m.)
All and all I had assumed I knew how today would unfold.
So as I woke up this morning I got ready for work, had breakfast and gathered up Sara's meals for the sitters house, thinking how cranky she is going to be that I have to wake her up this early... when in walks Sara.
Not only is she up, but she is in a good mood. A sign of the day ahead.
I got her dressed and we left the house 10 minutes early, providing us time to enjoy our walk to the babysitters house.
I dropped her off without any grief and off I went plugged into Jessica's MP3 Player to catch the Ferry to work.
Upon my arrival to the office I was greeted with silence... no one was here. It turns out that a whole lot of people are out of the office, on course or on vacation... today is going to be quiet, a good day to ease back in after a few weeks vacation.
It took me 2 hours to read through my e-mails I missed. I have even managed to reply to some.
I interviewed the Regional Director from Newfoundland & Labrador for my Summer Project this morning. The words that came out of this man's mouth during a town hall I attended in St. John's last year inspired my article Ripples...Waves...Tsunami. I really looked forward to speaking with him this morning about his views on Leadership and I was not disappointed.
Now it is lunchtime already. Time to run some errands. Back to the grind of "scheduled" life.
Tomorrow is another day. There is always more.
It is supposed to rain.
I am once again down to 1 vehicle (I had use of my mothers car for the past week).
I'd have to get up and mobile early (to leave the house before 7 a.m.)
All and all I had assumed I knew how today would unfold.
So as I woke up this morning I got ready for work, had breakfast and gathered up Sara's meals for the sitters house, thinking how cranky she is going to be that I have to wake her up this early... when in walks Sara.
Not only is she up, but she is in a good mood. A sign of the day ahead.
I got her dressed and we left the house 10 minutes early, providing us time to enjoy our walk to the babysitters house.
I dropped her off without any grief and off I went plugged into Jessica's MP3 Player to catch the Ferry to work.
Upon my arrival to the office I was greeted with silence... no one was here. It turns out that a whole lot of people are out of the office, on course or on vacation... today is going to be quiet, a good day to ease back in after a few weeks vacation.
It took me 2 hours to read through my e-mails I missed. I have even managed to reply to some.
I interviewed the Regional Director from Newfoundland & Labrador for my Summer Project this morning. The words that came out of this man's mouth during a town hall I attended in St. John's last year inspired my article Ripples...Waves...Tsunami. I really looked forward to speaking with him this morning about his views on Leadership and I was not disappointed.
Now it is lunchtime already. Time to run some errands. Back to the grind of "scheduled" life.
Tomorrow is another day. There is always more.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Celebrating 3 years of Sara!
3 years ago today at this time of night I was in labour fully engaged with the immanent arrival of Sara.
Now 3 years later Sara is spending her first night (tonight) sleeping in panties for the first time! Those of you with children will appreciate this accomplishment.
Tomorrow is Sara's Birthday. Breakfast, bath, shopping, soccer, lunch, nap... what ever else we choose to do to let Sara's signal lead us for the day. This day that marks her first breath in this physical world.
Tomorrow I must be aware of being conscious to recognize her godforce and follow her impulse for the day. Can I do it?
Of course, if I choose to. I will have to be very present in myself tomorrow.
Consciously Choosing Connectedness.
Tomorrow is another day, and there is always more.
Now 3 years later Sara is spending her first night (tonight) sleeping in panties for the first time! Those of you with children will appreciate this accomplishment.
Tomorrow is Sara's Birthday. Breakfast, bath, shopping, soccer, lunch, nap... what ever else we choose to do to let Sara's signal lead us for the day. This day that marks her first breath in this physical world.
Tomorrow I must be aware of being conscious to recognize her godforce and follow her impulse for the day. Can I do it?
Of course, if I choose to. I will have to be very present in myself tomorrow.
Consciously Choosing Connectedness.
Tomorrow is another day, and there is always more.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Hurry Up and Wait
As I sat at the computer this morning with my coffee Hurry Up and Wait comes to my mind.
See Sara & I already have been to the grocery store this morning only to find out it wasn't open yet. Hurry up and wait.
She was devastated. And I suppose looking back I can see why. She and I always go to the grocery store together.
She walks beside the cart, always promising to "not run away" until temptation proves to great and she runs off to hide from me.
She kisses the items she likes on the shelves and has been seen hugging yogurt in the dairy case on numerous occasions.
She bats her eyes and asks for a piece of lunch meat while at the deli and cookies from the bakery. Of course she is upset when we were right at the front doors only to have to turn around and come back home because the store was closed.
It is Natal Day here in Nova Scotia, I suppose the stores are on holiday hours. Funny how when you are on vacation you don't think of the actual holidays that might lie within that time.
Hurry up and wait.
Yesterday we brought Jessica to her Choir Camp in Berwick. She will be there for a whole week. We arrived a whole hour early. Hurry up and wait.
We were first in line and one of the first to leave the campgrounds. Hurry up and wait.
And I wonder why I am so concerned with getting things done and out of the way so I can say they are done?
Is it to create space for whatever might lie next?
Is it because I am impatient?
Is it simply because I am acting as "the spirit" moves me?
Or is it because I'm anal about being late? LOL
Who knows? However it seems in my life I am always in the mode of Hurry Up and Wait.
What will tomorrow bring? Another Day... there is always more.
See Sara & I already have been to the grocery store this morning only to find out it wasn't open yet. Hurry up and wait.
She was devastated. And I suppose looking back I can see why. She and I always go to the grocery store together.
She walks beside the cart, always promising to "not run away" until temptation proves to great and she runs off to hide from me.
She kisses the items she likes on the shelves and has been seen hugging yogurt in the dairy case on numerous occasions.
She bats her eyes and asks for a piece of lunch meat while at the deli and cookies from the bakery. Of course she is upset when we were right at the front doors only to have to turn around and come back home because the store was closed.
It is Natal Day here in Nova Scotia, I suppose the stores are on holiday hours. Funny how when you are on vacation you don't think of the actual holidays that might lie within that time.
Hurry up and wait.
Yesterday we brought Jessica to her Choir Camp in Berwick. She will be there for a whole week. We arrived a whole hour early. Hurry up and wait.
We were first in line and one of the first to leave the campgrounds. Hurry up and wait.
And I wonder why I am so concerned with getting things done and out of the way so I can say they are done?
Is it to create space for whatever might lie next?
Is it because I am impatient?
Is it simply because I am acting as "the spirit" moves me?
Or is it because I'm anal about being late? LOL
Who knows? However it seems in my life I am always in the mode of Hurry Up and Wait.
What will tomorrow bring? Another Day... there is always more.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Vacation
Here I am completing my first week of vacation... already it feels pretty good, my sense is that it will be hard to get back to work on the 13th or will it? Who can really say? I will just have to wait and see how it all goes.
I have been enjoying my time with my girls; shopping, cuddling, reading, cleaning or not cleaning (as the spirit moves).
Mike took a few days off of work this week. On Wednesday we went to Upper Clements Park (about 2 hr drive). We brought enough money for admission and meals then we packed some drinks, some snacks, some toys for the car and headed out.
It turns out Sara is quite a good traveller (who knew). She was quite content with watching the scenery as we passed by, getting excited about cows and horses she might see, singing away to Pink Floyd in the back seat as Mike and I sang in the front. Jessica plugged into her MP3 enjoying her own music.
We arrived just prior to the 11 a.m. park opening. We got out and stretched, had a little snack and some drinks then headed over to the line up. Walking through the park there was little shops and a gazebo. As we walked down a the path we came across 2 towers at the base of one was a slide, the catch was you had to climb up the stairs in one of the tower then walk across a rope bridge to get to the other side. Mike took her of course (I have an aversion to heights). She loved it.
While they climbed the tower, Jessica went off to get an airbrush tattoo of a butterfly that "should last up to 30 days". It really was a beautiful butterfly (while it lasted). We all had a very good time. Going on Rides, driving antique cars (all of us), wandering around the grounds, taking a train ride, sitting in the shade under a tree. Taking time to slow down and enjoy each other.
It really was a great day. We arrived home around 7 or 7:30 p.m. Tuckered out from a wonderful day in the fresh air and sunshine.
Yesterday I took the girls to Conrad's Beach (just before Lawrencetown). It is a very sandy beach right on the Atlantic Ocean. Which would normally be too cold to swim in, but the heat we have been experiencing lately made the ocean a welcome relief.
Jessica and her friend went off to brave the cold waves, skrieking as each one would come and crash over them. They would shriek at the onslaught of seaweed that some of the waves carried into the shore. They would shriek at the deer flies as they would come to buzz around them. Overall those twelve-year-old girls were very noisy... but they had lots of fun.
Sara and I sat right on the edge of the ocean digging in the sand, sometimes the waves would make it to our building site and we would get wet bums, but mostly we built a huge "castle" (pile of sand) and picked up and felt different types of seaweed. Sara was content to dig by herself for some time while I sat back in my chair and watched the scenery and enjoyed the sounds.
After a while I went back to ask Sara if she wanted to go swimming; she and I braved the cold waves. She would jump right out of the water (with some help from Mom) as each wave approached, she would clear each one. At times her hat would get carried away with a wave but that just added to the adventure.
When I had enough and turned to go back to shore Sara was quick to let me know she was not yet done. Hmm, she will be 3 in a few days, and still very much expressing the godforce she is, wanting to remain frolicking in the waves a while longer. I relented... after all this is vacation.
As we came onto shore to warm up she and I laid on the blanket under the umbrella. I managed to half convince her that all the people laying on the beach were taking a nap, so she amused me for all of 3 minutes, pretending to sleep then played in the shade for another 20 before heading back down to her castle in the sand.
Jessica and her friend barely left the water, they were having a blast riding the waves. As I looked out at them I chuckled to myself to see that they were now picking up that dreaded seaweed and tossing it at each other. What a fantastic day.
This morning I am sitting out on the deck with a laptop I borrowed from work. Sara decided she wanted to play outside this morning. My cats are on each side of me grooming themselves. The birds are chirping and I can feel that it is going to be another scorcher today (thank goodness we invested in an air conditioner a few years ago).
Sara is playing in the tent on the deck with a dollhouse. Jessica and her friend were supposed to sleep out here last night however at about 11 p.m. the unmistakable scent of a skunk drifted into the living room window and I knew the girls would be wanting to come inside. I popped my head to the window and before I could ask the girls if they heard anything they were freaking out over the stench they smelled.
I turned on the lights and made sure it was safe for them to exit the tent and they were in the house like a shot. Leaving behind some blankets, a dollhouse and some dolls that Sara is now happily enjoying as I sip my coffee and write these words. (Yuck... cold coffee now)
On Sunday Jessica goes off to Choir Camp for a whole week. Last night I promised her 26 letters from home. I will seal 26 envelopes each with a letter from the alphabet. LOL, she will love me next week!
My intention for next week is to get up when Mike leaves for work (6 a.m.) and spend some alone time working on compiling my thoughts from each interview I have conducted so far for my Summer Project. I am very excited with what my final product will look like because I just don't know. With each interview I have new thoughts and insights on leadership. What I have been noticing is the qualities and traits each individual identify as recognising in others are in fact traits and qualities that the person already possesses and demonstrates themselves. What I am now getting curious about is can one recognize something in another that they don't already have somewhere within themselves?
Vacation... spending my days by my own design (and that of my children of course).
Life is good; tomorrow is a new day (and I'll still be on vacation so there is always more!)
I have been enjoying my time with my girls; shopping, cuddling, reading, cleaning or not cleaning (as the spirit moves).
Mike took a few days off of work this week. On Wednesday we went to Upper Clements Park (about 2 hr drive). We brought enough money for admission and meals then we packed some drinks, some snacks, some toys for the car and headed out.
It turns out Sara is quite a good traveller (who knew). She was quite content with watching the scenery as we passed by, getting excited about cows and horses she might see, singing away to Pink Floyd in the back seat as Mike and I sang in the front. Jessica plugged into her MP3 enjoying her own music.
We arrived just prior to the 11 a.m. park opening. We got out and stretched, had a little snack and some drinks then headed over to the line up. Walking through the park there was little shops and a gazebo. As we walked down a the path we came across 2 towers at the base of one was a slide, the catch was you had to climb up the stairs in one of the tower then walk across a rope bridge to get to the other side. Mike took her of course (I have an aversion to heights). She loved it.
While they climbed the tower, Jessica went off to get an airbrush tattoo of a butterfly that "should last up to 30 days". It really was a beautiful butterfly (while it lasted). We all had a very good time. Going on Rides, driving antique cars (all of us), wandering around the grounds, taking a train ride, sitting in the shade under a tree. Taking time to slow down and enjoy each other.
It really was a great day. We arrived home around 7 or 7:30 p.m. Tuckered out from a wonderful day in the fresh air and sunshine.
Yesterday I took the girls to Conrad's Beach (just before Lawrencetown). It is a very sandy beach right on the Atlantic Ocean. Which would normally be too cold to swim in, but the heat we have been experiencing lately made the ocean a welcome relief.
Jessica and her friend went off to brave the cold waves, skrieking as each one would come and crash over them. They would shriek at the onslaught of seaweed that some of the waves carried into the shore. They would shriek at the deer flies as they would come to buzz around them. Overall those twelve-year-old girls were very noisy... but they had lots of fun.
Sara and I sat right on the edge of the ocean digging in the sand, sometimes the waves would make it to our building site and we would get wet bums, but mostly we built a huge "castle" (pile of sand) and picked up and felt different types of seaweed. Sara was content to dig by herself for some time while I sat back in my chair and watched the scenery and enjoyed the sounds.
After a while I went back to ask Sara if she wanted to go swimming; she and I braved the cold waves. She would jump right out of the water (with some help from Mom) as each wave approached, she would clear each one. At times her hat would get carried away with a wave but that just added to the adventure.
When I had enough and turned to go back to shore Sara was quick to let me know she was not yet done. Hmm, she will be 3 in a few days, and still very much expressing the godforce she is, wanting to remain frolicking in the waves a while longer. I relented... after all this is vacation.
As we came onto shore to warm up she and I laid on the blanket under the umbrella. I managed to half convince her that all the people laying on the beach were taking a nap, so she amused me for all of 3 minutes, pretending to sleep then played in the shade for another 20 before heading back down to her castle in the sand.
Jessica and her friend barely left the water, they were having a blast riding the waves. As I looked out at them I chuckled to myself to see that they were now picking up that dreaded seaweed and tossing it at each other. What a fantastic day.
This morning I am sitting out on the deck with a laptop I borrowed from work. Sara decided she wanted to play outside this morning. My cats are on each side of me grooming themselves. The birds are chirping and I can feel that it is going to be another scorcher today (thank goodness we invested in an air conditioner a few years ago).
Sara is playing in the tent on the deck with a dollhouse. Jessica and her friend were supposed to sleep out here last night however at about 11 p.m. the unmistakable scent of a skunk drifted into the living room window and I knew the girls would be wanting to come inside. I popped my head to the window and before I could ask the girls if they heard anything they were freaking out over the stench they smelled.
I turned on the lights and made sure it was safe for them to exit the tent and they were in the house like a shot. Leaving behind some blankets, a dollhouse and some dolls that Sara is now happily enjoying as I sip my coffee and write these words. (Yuck... cold coffee now)
On Sunday Jessica goes off to Choir Camp for a whole week. Last night I promised her 26 letters from home. I will seal 26 envelopes each with a letter from the alphabet. LOL, she will love me next week!
My intention for next week is to get up when Mike leaves for work (6 a.m.) and spend some alone time working on compiling my thoughts from each interview I have conducted so far for my Summer Project. I am very excited with what my final product will look like because I just don't know. With each interview I have new thoughts and insights on leadership. What I have been noticing is the qualities and traits each individual identify as recognising in others are in fact traits and qualities that the person already possesses and demonstrates themselves. What I am now getting curious about is can one recognize something in another that they don't already have somewhere within themselves?
Vacation... spending my days by my own design (and that of my children of course).
Life is good; tomorrow is a new day (and I'll still be on vacation so there is always more!)
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Standing in the NOW
We talk about inviting and allowing.
We talk about welcoming the waves of information and simply breathing into them to create the space for movement and flow.
And I wonder, why is it very simple for some to move through this and so difficult for others? I think it has to do with the filters, strategies and even the representational systems (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, etc) that we use(d) in our lives up until this point.
For me I was always very "emotional" I would feel things and allow for the waves to come. At that point I would typically choose to stop them or to start playing a tape of past events in my head.
When I didn't stop them and allowed them to wash over my body I would stabilize much more quickly and move on.
When I stopped them I would start to recite the stories in my head to bring the emotions up again, then stop it again and repeat. It is during these times that I would experience "depression" or a long lasting "funk". I fully believe I chose to bring these on myself... I wanted to keep asking the why about a past event because it allowed me to stand at the victim side of the equation. By allowing myself to wallow in my misery that was always brought on by someone else, I received from others much desired attention, in some cases sympathy and/or empathy and a confirmation of my actions / reactions to the event. Rehashing the past served as a tool for me to bring on these strategies. I chose to remove my ownership and control of my life... I chose to live at effect.
There is no reason to ask why continually about something that has already happened.
You ask yourself why sometimes when you are going to engage in behaviours (prior to an event), but to dwell on the why of a historic event is crazy making stuff. It is in the past. It is static. I has already happened, you cannot erase it. Stand in your choice point of the NOW, and choose to accept that as something that has happened and move into what adventures now lie ahead in your life.
The Unknown... or the once known but long forgotten; is often perceived as a scary place to be. Yet if you allow yourself to move past that initial fear and embrace the adventure of discovery... your whole world will shift once again.
I'm not saying to forget about your past... your experiences... your relationships. I am merely suggesting you recognize what you have always known inside. The absolute brilliant beings we are in this world, living life, gaining experience and insights, making mistakes and learning from it all.
Standing int he NOW and choosing always to create new thoughts, insights and ideas. Not rehashing a past experiences that is history. Knowing that past experience served us at that time in our lives and recognizing the growth we have gained from it and moving on...if it is no longer meaningful for us.
It takes a great deal of courage and trust in your self to embrace the unknown. Remember the unique signal you are in this world, allow that to flood your body and stand in the NOW... celebrating your ability to create your own future.
Tomorrow is another day... there is (thankfully) always more.
We talk about welcoming the waves of information and simply breathing into them to create the space for movement and flow.
And I wonder, why is it very simple for some to move through this and so difficult for others? I think it has to do with the filters, strategies and even the representational systems (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, etc) that we use(d) in our lives up until this point.
For me I was always very "emotional" I would feel things and allow for the waves to come. At that point I would typically choose to stop them or to start playing a tape of past events in my head.
When I didn't stop them and allowed them to wash over my body I would stabilize much more quickly and move on.
When I stopped them I would start to recite the stories in my head to bring the emotions up again, then stop it again and repeat. It is during these times that I would experience "depression" or a long lasting "funk". I fully believe I chose to bring these on myself... I wanted to keep asking the why about a past event because it allowed me to stand at the victim side of the equation. By allowing myself to wallow in my misery that was always brought on by someone else, I received from others much desired attention, in some cases sympathy and/or empathy and a confirmation of my actions / reactions to the event. Rehashing the past served as a tool for me to bring on these strategies. I chose to remove my ownership and control of my life... I chose to live at effect.
There is no reason to ask why continually about something that has already happened.
You ask yourself why sometimes when you are going to engage in behaviours (prior to an event), but to dwell on the why of a historic event is crazy making stuff. It is in the past. It is static. I has already happened, you cannot erase it. Stand in your choice point of the NOW, and choose to accept that as something that has happened and move into what adventures now lie ahead in your life.
The Unknown... or the once known but long forgotten; is often perceived as a scary place to be. Yet if you allow yourself to move past that initial fear and embrace the adventure of discovery... your whole world will shift once again.
I'm not saying to forget about your past... your experiences... your relationships. I am merely suggesting you recognize what you have always known inside. The absolute brilliant beings we are in this world, living life, gaining experience and insights, making mistakes and learning from it all.
Standing int he NOW and choosing always to create new thoughts, insights and ideas. Not rehashing a past experiences that is history. Knowing that past experience served us at that time in our lives and recognizing the growth we have gained from it and moving on...if it is no longer meaningful for us.
It takes a great deal of courage and trust in your self to embrace the unknown. Remember the unique signal you are in this world, allow that to flood your body and stand in the NOW... celebrating your ability to create your own future.
Tomorrow is another day... there is (thankfully) always more.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
One Woman Show...
Ever get that feeling that you were the star of a one woman show?
I've been feeling that alot at home lately.
Mike has been working L O N G hours... lots of hours... everyday for the past 3 weeks.
When he gets home he is exhausted. When he gets home I am on wind down & zone out mood.
The kids have barely seen him. And he has hardly had a chance to enjoy them.
All around we are missing out on each other and life.
Positive side... bills have gotten caught up once again.
Overall we are a little cranky. Overall we are alot tired. Overall we miss our time together.
- - And now I will go through this reading it and replace all the instances of "we" with "I"... because that is really what this is all about. --
So I am very much looking forward to my upcoming vacation.
2 weeks off, Mike has said he will take a few days as well, a family day trip or two is on the agenda, maybe some camping (although my saner side is beginning to question the logic of camping).
I will borrow a laptop and sit beside the kiddie pool in the shade and do some work on my summer project. 16 "traditional" leaders have been interviewed by me to date... and the ideas and words are starting to stream out of my pen into my journal. It will be a good time while I'm off to work on this.
I started also thinking of starting another book. One that has to do with parenting... conscious parenting. (mind you I still need to finish my first one, but I haven't been called to do any more on it since drafting my Single Moms article)
I need to put whats important in perspective for the next day or two... soon enough I'll be off with all the time in the world to worry about house work. I concentrate these next few last days before vacation to keeping cool and having fun with my girls.
Tomorrow is a new day... and there is always more.
I've been feeling that alot at home lately.
Mike has been working L O N G hours... lots of hours... everyday for the past 3 weeks.
When he gets home he is exhausted. When he gets home I am on wind down & zone out mood.
The kids have barely seen him. And he has hardly had a chance to enjoy them.
All around we are missing out on each other and life.
Positive side... bills have gotten caught up once again.
Overall we are a little cranky. Overall we are alot tired. Overall we miss our time together.
- - And now I will go through this reading it and replace all the instances of "we" with "I"... because that is really what this is all about. --
So I am very much looking forward to my upcoming vacation.
2 weeks off, Mike has said he will take a few days as well, a family day trip or two is on the agenda, maybe some camping (although my saner side is beginning to question the logic of camping).
I will borrow a laptop and sit beside the kiddie pool in the shade and do some work on my summer project. 16 "traditional" leaders have been interviewed by me to date... and the ideas and words are starting to stream out of my pen into my journal. It will be a good time while I'm off to work on this.
I started also thinking of starting another book. One that has to do with parenting... conscious parenting. (mind you I still need to finish my first one, but I haven't been called to do any more on it since drafting my Single Moms article)
I need to put whats important in perspective for the next day or two... soon enough I'll be off with all the time in the world to worry about house work. I concentrate these next few last days before vacation to keeping cool and having fun with my girls.
Tomorrow is a new day... and there is always more.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Conscious Parenting Weekend ~ Personal Insights
It has been just over a week since my last Conscious Parenting Workshop. It was a very interesting one for me.
This was the first workshop I had where I was a stranger to the participants (save for one).
This was the first workshop I had where there was a man participating. (That was a huge awakening for me personally).
This was the first workshop where I advertised and where there was so much interest generated. (I have a list of people interested in my next one)
This was also a very unique workshop because of the people who entered the program room.
If you recall an earlier entry entitled Dreams & Energy ~ Men & Parenting I spoke of this woman who had e-mailed me and she and her husband wanted to take my workshop. This e-mail alone was a huge shift for me to realize the self limiting beliefs I held about men being up for a different kind of conversation. Her husband stayed home with the kids and she joined me for the weekend workshop.
(Note to self, arrange some kind of daycare/children’s program)
There also was a single Dad who participated in my workshop that weekend. He was a huge invitation for me to be rid of many things. To me this man is a seeker, he was continuously curious, always wondering, freely expressing, and it called up a filter in me very quickly.
In my past when a man asked questions about what I was saying it was to prove me wrong or prove me incompetent. So when this single Dad became curious, I had to allow breath to come into my body and see it as simply that… curiosity. Curiosity is fantastic; to be genuinely curios is to be continually growing.
For me this was one of the most important things I allowed my self to be rid of this weekend… I no longer need this filter/strategy in place. I do not have to justify myself, my experience, my truth… I can simply state it as my own and stand in the knowledge that I no longer have to shrink (become small) in the presence of a man.
This workshop was a fantastic experience for me… the conversations were more inquisitive, the participants seemed to each have taken something different away from the weekend (of course as they were each there for their own reasons).
We talked a lot about being present for your children. Seeing your children and allowing them to feel whatever they may be feeling, not stopping their waves of emotions but simply inviting them (by modelling) to breath into them.
Not only seeing your children, but allowing yourself to be seen by your children… allowing yourself to take time for you, if you need a time out or a chance to breath. Allowing the information (disappointment, rage, frustration, anger, hurt, sadness) to process before engaging with your child… the experience will be much different, more powerful and less hurtful.
These are just some of the conversations that have stayed in my consciousness from this past workshop.
Another huge lesson for me… honour myself… allow time for myself to recuperate. Sleep… I did not do this after my last workshop and on Friday of last week I crashed. I was so physically exhausted, I was sick, I had a fever, I had a headache, and I had stomach problems… I eventually slept a long undisturbed sleep and woke up feeling like a million dollars.
My lesson for myself is to recharge after a weekend workshop.
Tomorrow is another day… and there is always more.
This was the first workshop I had where I was a stranger to the participants (save for one).
This was the first workshop I had where there was a man participating. (That was a huge awakening for me personally).
This was the first workshop where I advertised and where there was so much interest generated. (I have a list of people interested in my next one)
This was also a very unique workshop because of the people who entered the program room.
If you recall an earlier entry entitled Dreams & Energy ~ Men & Parenting I spoke of this woman who had e-mailed me and she and her husband wanted to take my workshop. This e-mail alone was a huge shift for me to realize the self limiting beliefs I held about men being up for a different kind of conversation. Her husband stayed home with the kids and she joined me for the weekend workshop.
(Note to self, arrange some kind of daycare/children’s program)
There also was a single Dad who participated in my workshop that weekend. He was a huge invitation for me to be rid of many things. To me this man is a seeker, he was continuously curious, always wondering, freely expressing, and it called up a filter in me very quickly.
In my past when a man asked questions about what I was saying it was to prove me wrong or prove me incompetent. So when this single Dad became curious, I had to allow breath to come into my body and see it as simply that… curiosity. Curiosity is fantastic; to be genuinely curios is to be continually growing.
For me this was one of the most important things I allowed my self to be rid of this weekend… I no longer need this filter/strategy in place. I do not have to justify myself, my experience, my truth… I can simply state it as my own and stand in the knowledge that I no longer have to shrink (become small) in the presence of a man.
This workshop was a fantastic experience for me… the conversations were more inquisitive, the participants seemed to each have taken something different away from the weekend (of course as they were each there for their own reasons).
We talked a lot about being present for your children. Seeing your children and allowing them to feel whatever they may be feeling, not stopping their waves of emotions but simply inviting them (by modelling) to breath into them.
Not only seeing your children, but allowing yourself to be seen by your children… allowing yourself to take time for you, if you need a time out or a chance to breath. Allowing the information (disappointment, rage, frustration, anger, hurt, sadness) to process before engaging with your child… the experience will be much different, more powerful and less hurtful.
These are just some of the conversations that have stayed in my consciousness from this past workshop.
Another huge lesson for me… honour myself… allow time for myself to recuperate. Sleep… I did not do this after my last workshop and on Friday of last week I crashed. I was so physically exhausted, I was sick, I had a fever, I had a headache, and I had stomach problems… I eventually slept a long undisturbed sleep and woke up feeling like a million dollars.
My lesson for myself is to recharge after a weekend workshop.
Tomorrow is another day… and there is always more.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Desecration of Nature...
This week I noticed a few things happening around the place I live. Trees being cut down, stay off the grass signs being put up.
Okay I figured, the owners of this property are trying to tidy up the entrance to our court.
Trying to make it look nicer? Perhaps. Trying to get rid of a pest? Perhaps. Trying to make room for more homes? Perhaps.
I was sadden by the loss of the healthy trees, but moved on.
Today I am home on vacation. I hear chain saws buzzing and see a truck bearing the land owners name. And in the yard across from me there are two men with chain saws chopping up into biddy pieces a young tree in a neighbours yard.
I was outraged. How can they do this? I don't understand their reasoning behind this. So I called the number listed on the side of the truck and asked what was going on!!
Why are you cutting down all of our trees? The man on the phone said, I'm not sure what my father is doing. You will have to find him he is on site and ask him yourself. I think he is cutting the trees that will interfere with the power lines. I assured him the tree I just witness being chopped was not near any power lines and set off to get dressed to confront the owner of this land.
Can he not see what he is doing? Not only is his actions negatively affecting the environment he is taking away from the privacy and beauty we each enjoy with our monthly lot fee.
Alas, by the time I got outside his truck was pulling away and I thought to myself, perhaps this neighbour requested this tree be cut down. And left it at that.
Now it is afternoon and I just witnessed a beautiful, mature, birch tree falling over 3 doors down. From over the rooftops this beautiful tree toppled.
Now I am angry. What the hell are they doing? Why can't they see how damaging their actions are? Where is their foresight? They raise our land rent then destroy the beauty. I am appalled. I am distressed. I am angry. I am upset.
I can't wait for them to step on to my drive way so I can let them know to back off. Question the means behind their madness. And let them know we will take care of our own, trim the tops if you will, whatever. They will remain. And I choose lease this land... trees and all.
Wake UP! And see the bigger picture.
Breathing is good (yes I know this) and also expression of feelings is too... and now I'm done.
Okay I figured, the owners of this property are trying to tidy up the entrance to our court.
Trying to make it look nicer? Perhaps. Trying to get rid of a pest? Perhaps. Trying to make room for more homes? Perhaps.
I was sadden by the loss of the healthy trees, but moved on.
Today I am home on vacation. I hear chain saws buzzing and see a truck bearing the land owners name. And in the yard across from me there are two men with chain saws chopping up into biddy pieces a young tree in a neighbours yard.
I was outraged. How can they do this? I don't understand their reasoning behind this. So I called the number listed on the side of the truck and asked what was going on!!
Why are you cutting down all of our trees? The man on the phone said, I'm not sure what my father is doing. You will have to find him he is on site and ask him yourself. I think he is cutting the trees that will interfere with the power lines. I assured him the tree I just witness being chopped was not near any power lines and set off to get dressed to confront the owner of this land.
Can he not see what he is doing? Not only is his actions negatively affecting the environment he is taking away from the privacy and beauty we each enjoy with our monthly lot fee.
Alas, by the time I got outside his truck was pulling away and I thought to myself, perhaps this neighbour requested this tree be cut down. And left it at that.
Now it is afternoon and I just witnessed a beautiful, mature, birch tree falling over 3 doors down. From over the rooftops this beautiful tree toppled.
Now I am angry. What the hell are they doing? Why can't they see how damaging their actions are? Where is their foresight? They raise our land rent then destroy the beauty. I am appalled. I am distressed. I am angry. I am upset.
I can't wait for them to step on to my drive way so I can let them know to back off. Question the means behind their madness. And let them know we will take care of our own, trim the tops if you will, whatever. They will remain. And I choose lease this land... trees and all.
Wake UP! And see the bigger picture.
Breathing is good (yes I know this) and also expression of feelings is too... and now I'm done.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
WARNING
I sit here this morning and am taking a few minute to look through the blogs on the WEL-Systems blogging community... there is a new one from Louise which starts off my morning well.
Then I notice... I haven't written here in quite some time either.
So I log on to write down some thoughts... particularly of last weekend's Conscious Parenting Workshop.
And when I bring up this screen there is a big read WARNING splashed across the top of the page. It says:
What the heck is this all about I am wondering. Perhaps the time and place now is not conducive to my writing about the weekend?
Or maybe, it's an easy fix. However what I do know is that this WARNING has caused me to not write about what I intended on. That will have to come at another time.
Until I figure this out...
There is always more... We just have to wait for blogger to review my entries and say that they aren't spam... Interesting.
Then I notice... I haven't written here in quite some time either.
So I log on to write down some thoughts... particularly of last weekend's Conscious Parenting Workshop.
And when I bring up this screen there is a big read WARNING splashed across the top of the page. It says:
This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts.
What the heck is this all about I am wondering. Perhaps the time and place now is not conducive to my writing about the weekend?
Or maybe, it's an easy fix. However what I do know is that this WARNING has caused me to not write about what I intended on. That will have to come at another time.
Until I figure this out...
There is always more... We just have to wait for blogger to review my entries and say that they aren't spam... Interesting.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Letting Kids be Kids
Do you let your child actually be a child? Or do you expect them to tote the barge and pick up your slack.
I often catch myself delegating so much onto my 11 yr old... however I have been learning to let things go. She will only be young once after all. She has her whole life to worry about the major responsibilities.
One fine day she will (if she chooses) have a family of her own. She doesn't need to be burdened with being totally responsible for her sister. I'm struggling with this one. She is almost of age where she can babysit.
She wants to babysit, to have that responsibility (when she is 12 and has her babysitting course) I might have to let go of my fears of my baby, watching my baby. And when that time comes I will have to be oh so aware not to use her... to allow her to still be a child and remain myself the parent.
It is so important to laugh, have fun, play, act silly, be carefree. Let's to burden our children too soon with adult responsibilities.
Let's let our kids be kids for as long as possible.
Tomorrow is a new day and there is always more.
I often catch myself delegating so much onto my 11 yr old... however I have been learning to let things go. She will only be young once after all. She has her whole life to worry about the major responsibilities.
One fine day she will (if she chooses) have a family of her own. She doesn't need to be burdened with being totally responsible for her sister. I'm struggling with this one. She is almost of age where she can babysit.
She wants to babysit, to have that responsibility (when she is 12 and has her babysitting course) I might have to let go of my fears of my baby, watching my baby. And when that time comes I will have to be oh so aware not to use her... to allow her to still be a child and remain myself the parent.
It is so important to laugh, have fun, play, act silly, be carefree. Let's to burden our children too soon with adult responsibilities.
Let's let our kids be kids for as long as possible.
Tomorrow is a new day and there is always more.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Invitations, Space and Authentic Voice
Today was going to be a big day for me. Having the opportunity to go on a regional newscast to talk about my workshop. I was full of nervous energy.
I spent most of my day excited, nervous yet overwhelmed with a sense of happiness that I would have the opportunity to speak to so many; that perhaps something would stir within them; that something I said would resonate and they would become curious about more in their lives.
I was taken out to lunch by some of my favorite women and tears came down when I thought about how lucky I was to have these opportunities and how many more people my voice will be able to get to. They of course shared in my joy and in my excitement. Laura without fail is always there in my corner.
I left work early today to run some errands. I went to the Shambhala Meditation Centre to look at the space I would be using this weekend for my workshop and to pick up the key.
As I stepped out of my car in the back parking lot I noticed the huge old trees that surrounded the parking spaces. I noticed the birds singing in the trees and I noticed how my nervous energy I was experiencing at work began to dissipate.
The space I have for this weekends workshop The Snow Lion Room is amazing. The whole building is amazing. There is such beautiful things in it. Such a sense of peace. Joyousness. It was very much like my dream the other night.
I explored some of the other rooms, looking at the art on the wall, the tapestries, the quotes, the statues. It truly is a calming space.
After I was done officially securing the space, I went for a bit of a pamper and got my make up done for my interview. I noticed many times during this treat how often I held my breath. I was afraid I was going to "mess things up".
What a metaphor that was... as I thought about it and breathed, this was also where my nervousness came from earlier in the day... I was afraid I was going to "mess things up".
I left with plenty of time to get to the studio, I was greeted by the anchor who was going to interview me and we just talked about what Conscious Parenting meant to me. We talked about the importance of also taking time for yourself as a parent to rejuvenate. In my opinion this has many benefits, not only does it allow the parent to recharge, stay sane, and breathe, but it also models very important behaviour to the children... it is okay to take a few minutes to yourself to relax, cry and breathe. I was told about how my interview would work and who would come and get me when it was time.
I really was surprised with the ease that everyone in that studio moved through a live broadcast. It was much calmer than I had imagined it. I took time to write in my journal and take some grounding breaths before it was time for my piece.
And it was done. It was done with relative ease, I didn't swear (thank goodness) and I didn't stammer or stall. Looking back on the recording I was quite pleased with the message I managed to get across in 4 minutes.
Who knows what this opportunity will bring? I don't, but I'm ready for it.
My hope for this weekend's workshop is that many will be awakened to the unending potential they hold, when parenting, when working, when loving and when living!
Find the fun, find the passion, find the laughter, embrace in the love.
Life is indeed good, and who knows what tomorrow will bring? There is always more.
I spent most of my day excited, nervous yet overwhelmed with a sense of happiness that I would have the opportunity to speak to so many; that perhaps something would stir within them; that something I said would resonate and they would become curious about more in their lives.
I was taken out to lunch by some of my favorite women and tears came down when I thought about how lucky I was to have these opportunities and how many more people my voice will be able to get to. They of course shared in my joy and in my excitement. Laura without fail is always there in my corner.
I left work early today to run some errands. I went to the Shambhala Meditation Centre to look at the space I would be using this weekend for my workshop and to pick up the key.
As I stepped out of my car in the back parking lot I noticed the huge old trees that surrounded the parking spaces. I noticed the birds singing in the trees and I noticed how my nervous energy I was experiencing at work began to dissipate.
The space I have for this weekends workshop The Snow Lion Room is amazing. The whole building is amazing. There is such beautiful things in it. Such a sense of peace. Joyousness. It was very much like my dream the other night.
I explored some of the other rooms, looking at the art on the wall, the tapestries, the quotes, the statues. It truly is a calming space.
After I was done officially securing the space, I went for a bit of a pamper and got my make up done for my interview. I noticed many times during this treat how often I held my breath. I was afraid I was going to "mess things up".
What a metaphor that was... as I thought about it and breathed, this was also where my nervousness came from earlier in the day... I was afraid I was going to "mess things up".
I left with plenty of time to get to the studio, I was greeted by the anchor who was going to interview me and we just talked about what Conscious Parenting meant to me. We talked about the importance of also taking time for yourself as a parent to rejuvenate. In my opinion this has many benefits, not only does it allow the parent to recharge, stay sane, and breathe, but it also models very important behaviour to the children... it is okay to take a few minutes to yourself to relax, cry and breathe. I was told about how my interview would work and who would come and get me when it was time.
I really was surprised with the ease that everyone in that studio moved through a live broadcast. It was much calmer than I had imagined it. I took time to write in my journal and take some grounding breaths before it was time for my piece.
And it was done. It was done with relative ease, I didn't swear (thank goodness) and I didn't stammer or stall. Looking back on the recording I was quite pleased with the message I managed to get across in 4 minutes.
Who knows what this opportunity will bring? I don't, but I'm ready for it.
My hope for this weekend's workshop is that many will be awakened to the unending potential they hold, when parenting, when working, when loving and when living!
Find the fun, find the passion, find the laughter, embrace in the love.
Life is indeed good, and who knows what tomorrow will bring? There is always more.
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