It's seems like forever...

It seems like forever since I have blogged. Forever since I have sat quietly and journaled. And yet I sat wondering why am I static?

I forgot how fast life moves when you are willing to engage authentically. To stand raw and be seen. To say things and be heard. To listen and to be listened to.

I have been going like the energizer bunny... yet hiding at the same time. Being busy for the sake of being busy.

Day Job, Coaching, Single Parenting, Home Owner Selling, Union President Helping, Friend listening and playing.

I was allowing myself to become so busy I didn't have time to think.

Ever since the end of January when I ended my relationship I have been occupying my time with other things so I didn't have to sit with what it is like to be me, here and now.

I busied myself so I did not have to grieve a ended relationship. So I wouldn't cry over something that I needed to do for me.

I kept myself occupied so others would not pity me. So my children wouldn't be upset. So others would know that I really did choose to be a single mother again. My choice. Yet I chose to ignore the feelings that come up with ending a part of your life.

It all came to a breaking point. One which I haven't fully allowed myself to process yet. I have still been fighting it back and stuffing it down. Being strong. Being in control. Not wanting anyone to have the satisfaction of saying...

Of saying what? That I'm human? That I hurt? That even though I chose it I can still grieve it?

So I have not fully moved through what I need to move through in order to move on.

And I begin. I'll journal specifically surrounding the end to this part of my life. After the fact (lord knows I've did enough before it).

And tomorrow... who will emerge? Me of course, one who remembers to be gentle with herself and allow herself to stop... breathe...and re-source.

Life is indeed good.

Open Letter to the Universe

I am ready. I am open. I am love. I am you.

This house is ready to be bought.

This body is ready to be transformed.

This heart is ready to be loved.

This being is ready to engage.

The time isnow. My gift to you is trusting, loving & being myself.

Thoughts really do become things... if only you let them.

Victim or Creator - The Choice is Yours

Right now in my life I have been attracting people who are at choice points.

Either they are sick and tired, knowing life isn't working for them... yet choosing to make excuses to stay in the same old rut they have been in for years now.

Or they are at a point in their lives where they know they can no longer go on living how they are and need a kick to begin to change their lives.

Or they are finding out the hard way that if you are not clear in who you are and what direction you are going EVERYONE (and their mother) has an opinion on how you should live your life.

All of these people are showing up in my life right now, at various stages of evolution in their own personal journey.

Some choose to remain in the victim role, because they can't afford not to (money does not equal happiness or good health for that matter).

Some choose to remain in the victim role because they can't see how not to live that way, it is scary to take ownership of your life.

And yet there are these others who have come into my life recently who are all about MOVING INTO themselves to move forward in life. To create the future they wish, but they just needed to be reminded how to do it.

Victim or Creator... either is a place to stand that is serving them (for whatever their reasons).

It takes strength and courage to move from victim to creator... and I know that the strength and courage needed is accessible to all of us.

We just need to remember it and take ownership of our own lives again.

The choice is always yours. If you are ready to move forward with your life I'd love to talk to you about that. If you choose to remain static... you are making that choice.

Evolution, transformation, change... it doesn't have to be hard... it does, however, usually take you out of your comfort zone.

Writing things down, making lists, saying things... it's all good, but change will only happen when you take those first few steps... forward motion, life unfolding, emerging, shaping your future.