Two Short Years of Knowing… With Thanks

It’s been almost 2 years now since I woke up to my life.

Where I began to create and lead my life instead of sitting around being led by it.

Today is a day of reflection on my journey… removing my Self from the equation.

It began with a visionary… someone who displays true leadership… who gathered her courage to step out of the box and shape the type of thing she felt drawn to shape. In her brazenness, her courage to swim against stream regardless of any repercussions she may have faced, she provided the opportunity for many of us to step into remembering our self and finding our voice. Without Cheryl Flemming’s vision, I would not be the woman I am today.

After doubting that I belonged with that group I enter into a room with two dynamic women welcoming me from the front of the room.

One who was very present, outgoing yet insightful, who would push unabashed for you to see through the filters you have placed before your eyes… one that is passionate for awakening others to find their voice, to speak up and to speak out about what is meaningful to them. Encouraging me to connect with the power that is who I am. Cathy Carmody’s presence, power and insight was my invitation to begin to recognize I wasn’t who I had thought myself to be… I was so much more.

The other quiet, majestic, thoughtful, the lioness. Very clear with what she says, absorbing energy in with each breath, calibrating what messages might lye within, and speaking what needed to be said. Teaching me to pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me. Celine Levasseur-Burlock quiet stillness, thoughtfulness, silence, taught me to check in with my body and pay attention… am I moved to speak, or am I just trying to talk to distract myself. Celine chose to listen to her body, to know which words to speak to me, and those few words excelled the integration of information within me.

And my life changed, in a few short months… I knew I could not go back to sleep. I knew I would not be small again. I knew… there was no turning back.

I was impacted so much by these women that I knew I wanted more… I wanted to continue to grow, to unfold, to find out who I was and who I could be.

I stepped in the WEL-Systems certification stream. I met Louise LeBrun who doesn’t engage in “frivolous” conversation. She doesn’t dance around the edges; she is a goddess, spear and crucible combined. She has called out to me… and my godforce responds. In each encounter, conversation, e-mail, book or blog entry, she is able to tease out the brilliance that lies within. My continued growth lies intertwined in engaging with Louise. My SELF… is enlivened in her presence.

Along the road of my journey many women have been in my awareness on similar paths… each contributing to my growth and awakening by simply decloaking and sharing the truth of their experience. Sometimes by being a reflection of something I need to pay attention to within myself offers the freedom for the wave to move and for that insight to come.

Reconnecting in a new way with my old insurance broker, Angela Reid, gifted me with sharing her knowledge surrounding shamanism and the connections and journeys to the more that there is outside of ourselves. Remembering to honor and thank all that is. Teaching me some of what she knows… and being there to share in my learning and growth as I feel it is meaningful for me to do so. Offering another view for me to consider and share… in a way that feels right.

To all those WEL-Woman who are out there, who are able to see my intention and vision and have contributed to manifesting that by virtue of connections, assistance, ideas or simply unconditional support.

To the woman who showed up for my first Conscious Parenting Workshop, being willing and engaging with me in the program room as I cut my teeth. Donna, Amy, Sarah, Elizabeth and Robyn (bless your family) for being present and willing to expose yourselves and take the ride.

To the first man in my Conscious Parenting workshop, Rick; through your presence and continuous curiosity I was able to recognize and dismiss old beliefs I held about the woman I am when engaging with men while facilitating a workshop. I also learned from you that I had judged men in general as not being up for the deeper more emotional (energetic) conversations, you were the first to prove this to be a belief that no longer served me.

When you are on a journey of a life that you are creating your intentions change and shift as you learn and grow. Sometimes your intentions compliment another; such was the case with Anne Thibeault-Berube. Anne & Celine created a Redefining Education family retreat and Anne invited me to come and help with the Children for the weekend. That weekend I learned to see life again through the eyes of a child, I was also able to tie in what I learned from Angela about shamanism and integrate it within myself, while playing with the children out in the elements. Anne was an invitation for me that weekend to take what I learned from Angela and feel it within myself.

Through it all, I continued to grow with each encounter, with each conversation, in very profound ways… and recently at the 1st Annual Idea’s Festival I took yet another Quantum Leap. Those who gathered in that room were willing and there for Anne’s “Vision of Oneness”, the energy was palatable. Love was very much a presence on its own. Scott MacInnis’ willingness to be present and freely express the truth of his experience, exuding the pure love for everyone and everything he feels called to my spirit to remember that love which I also am. I came home to look at everyone with new eyes… most importantly to look at myself with those new eyes. For that awakening to something I wasn’t even aware of missing in my life… I will be forever thankful.

And to those who have been quietly supporting me from the wings, family, friends, co-workers… my cheerleaders, my sounding boards, those who believe in me and see what I want to offer to others… my gratitude and thanks to all of you… Laura Beaton in particular, who has witnessed me as I have gone thorough my transformation cheering me on every step of the way.

A good way to end a year… remembering with gratitude… loving thanks for your part of my Two Short Years of Knowing…

Awakening the Sun…

I just returned from the 1st Annual Idea’s Festival at Oceanstone. A diverse gathering of beautiful people with something in common; the desire to talk about the connection that ties us all draws us together as well as the attractor and provider of the space, Anne.

For me this weekend was a blur of time, listening to everyone with my body not my intellect. I had a great deal of movement this weekend. Engaging my body, my self and mind into the presentations as they called for me to do.

Seeing the essence of everyone… the core of what we all are, really… for the first time staying present to that.

Come to be where I felt home… does that make sense? It doesn’t matter it does to me. Feeling free to allow myself to stay grounded, to remain visible, to speak and be heard, to arrive and be seen… not only for what I have said and for who I am, but also for the unspoken and what I have not yet discovered about myself.

Anne is the Sun… and she has truly provided this space for me to awaken to the essence of who she is.

Now filled for the first time I can recall (yet is seems so familiar) with undeniable love for life and everything I see…

I can remember having conversations with friends in the past where they said “I love… love” (typically talking about being in love with a person) and I would laugh a giddy little laugh but not really know what they were talking about. I now know on a grander scale… I’ve felt it… it resides with in me.

I did not want to leave Oceanstone last night yet at the same time I wanted to just be home with Mike and my girls… when I finally managed to get myself out the door I was impatiently waiting for Keri to say her goodbyes so I could get home to my family.

The weekend was so much more that I had ever imagined. I found part of myself that I had not connected to for a long, long time.

I arrived home and didn’t even unpack the car (I still haven’t) bursting through the door to lay eyes on my family. Jessica on the couch under a blanket watching her show; Mike had Sara in the tub just finishing up her bath… each of they so fantastic to see through these different eyes…

A thought just crossed my mind… I wonder what I look like now with these eyes... what I look like, to myself… I think I’ll see.

Off to look and see who is mirroring me.

Thank you seems so small to say… and I know for all of you there, you know what I want to express.

Mahalo – Hawaiian for Thanks, Gratitude – (May you be) in (Divine) Breath