Seeing Yourself in Another

Have you ever been to a workshop or seminar where the person talking is fully alive and radiant? You can see their passion through their eyes?

Have you ever walked down the street and been drawn to look into a strangers eyes only to see them looking at your soul with a smile and a hello?

Have you ever taken the time to be still and experience with every cell in your body a birds song, a warm breeze, a child's laugh?

Have you ever wondered what all that is?

Is is all of us. It is allowing yourself to show up fully, vulnerably, without stories. It is BEing.

When I think about that light that shines thorough someones eyes, when I see the passion and energy flow over a crowd listening to someone speak... I think of who I know I am (and who I know you are).

Connected... Mind, Body & Soul.

Living.

Breathing.

Experiencing.

Receiving.

Enlivening the essence of who I am... to stand up and be seen.

Mind, Body & Soul... what speaks to you?

Mind, Body & Soul

As I think about my present and future... one thing keeps coming into my mind.

Passion = Engagement of Body+Mind+Soul combined

This is March's topic for Shaping Our Future - Women's Leadership Series Mind, Body & Soul. During these few hours I hope to explore this in the context of leadership.

• Is engaging with Mind, Body and Soul the key to living a passionate and successful life?

• Can one be an engaging leader with out all three?

• How much more effective can it be?

• What are some ways to ensure we are engaging the 3?

• What are some of the ways we can stay connected in our day to day?

Please join me in exploring this topic further on Wednesday, March 5th beginning at 7 p.m.

Location: Growing Forward, 1153 Cole Harbour Road, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia

Cost: $10 / person

Please RSVP by Monday, March 3rd with your Name and Telephone Number at potential@eastlink.ca or calling Lori at (902) 461-9169

Seating is Limited, RSVP soon

Finding Myself

Transition: Passage from one form, state, style, or place to another.

I find myself in a place that is foriegn to me, yet familiar. I am a single woman... and a single woman who knows who she is and what she wants. This feels different... new yet not.

I find myself slipping for split seconds into a place where I doubt who I am and what I can do.

This week in my course, I said something that screamed of confidence and I got 'ribbed' for it. We today, 3 days later, there was still comments happening and I caught myself, questioning who I was.

How dare I allow myself to forget who I am now? To be proud of the women I have become and to allow myself to remain silent for a few days, in front of these people I did not know last week.

It came to a point this morning, another remark was made and some asked "Do you feel Harrassed?" I said "Yes I definately am beginning to."

Before lunch, another comment... I spoke up and said, "there is nothing wrong with confidence." The response was, "there is a difference between confidence and cockiness."

This sent my wave on the move. Yes there is a difference between the two, but there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with confidence... and the difference for me comes down to EGO. However someones pereception may say different and that isn't about me.

Thankfully that happened prior to lunch, instead of hanging around I left and found a space to allow my emotions to flow in private. I went for a walk and returned to the session on time for a quick bite before workshop started.

The first activity after break was an icebreaker. It was a yarn toss, and we were to tell something personal about ourselves. I only had one thing on my mind and it was to put an end to this behaviour that was undesirable to me.

When the yarn was tossed to me, I said "One thing you may not know about me is that one of the reasons I started my consulting company was so others can be aware of the potential we all hold... (then the wave came and I continued)... I'm sorry, but I need to go here, 2.5 yrs ago I was not confident, I had no self esteem, self worth (I actually don't know if I managed to express all of that but I continued) and that is why confidence is so important to me and I really would appreciate if the comments would stop". And I tossed the ball.

The next hours was a blur, I was not in the room I left to find safety to allow myself to process what I needed to. I couldn't not find a safe private spot to be, so it took quite a while.

It was all I could muster to walk back into the room almost an hour later. And as I write this I am still very raw.

How can I create a safe environment where ever I go? As I write this I know that had I expressed what I felt on day one it wouldn't have gotten to the point it did. Needing to remember who I am....

Stop trying to make myself small in front of strangers to make them feel more comforatable with who they may be.

It's been quite intersting these past few weeks... and just because it's new... it doesn't mean I have to lose myself as I search out my new path.

Life is fully of surprises... self discoveries... and opportunities to shine.

Ottawa Trip - Winterlude Awaits...

I'm going to Ottawa once again (Gatineau but I'll be able to do it all).

Business trip, but one that holds huge potential for who I am.

Over the past two years one of the things I have discovered that I can do is be a facilitator. I am a facilitator of conversations that invite others in their own personal growth.

I have created programs, workshops and facilitated conversations in my "spare" time with my home business. Now work is sending me on training to become a JLP (Joint Learning Program) Facilitator and ultimately deliver 1 or 4 different programs that are offered.

I am very excited to have this opportunity to be recognized for things I love to do IN my workplace.

My business is starting to pick up again... new clients... new expereicnes...

It's all coming together again. February has been a great month... new beginnings.

I am hoping to find some friends in Ottawa to spend some time exploring Winterlude (which I am told is going on).

I'm up for having some fun!

Life is indeed good.

Dancing Bubbles

My first night as a truly single woman.

Thoughts were scattered, old worries flooded in and out of my mind.

Some tears shed for the closure.

Bumping around... not sure what to do.

Luxurious to bathe by candle light at 11 p.m. with music playing from my bedroom. Who knew?

Freedom to do what I feel as it moves me.

Becoming once again more familiar with the woman I am today... that I always was but have forgotten.

Breathing in the stillness.

Candle light reflecting off the bubbles, reminding me of the many facets that make up who I am.

Dancing with new found freedom...

Rejoicing...

Reconnecting...

The journey home.

Fear of Falling

This weekend I spent the night at my sister's house with my kids... she needed a babysitter on Sunday and I thought it would be fun to sleep over the night before.

On Sunday Morning, Mike calls to my sister's house. "The washing machine is still broken, can you do some wash while you are at Julie's?"

"Yes, I can."

"Can I talk to Jessica?"

"Yes you can."

Jessica gets on the phone and then gets a big smile on her face says OKAY and hangs up the phone.

Turns out Mike found an apartment on Saturday night... not only did he find a place but he took possession of it already. Man when I want something I'm going to get it. I was shocked... I was excited for him and for Jessica... but shocked all the same. So quick... was he ready? Was I ready?

Jessica returned back to my sisters house, excited about her newest home... telling me the stuff Mike bought for the home already, what it looks like, etc... I'm excited again.

And then my mind starts to think... where did he get the money... holy crap I'm right back into the mindset I was the last time we broke up... he is going to do something stupid with my money, etc. etc. I jump to conclusions and call to bitch at him... only to be a moment later realizing it was me who mis-managed last weeks budget.

Old habits... old reality. This is not how it's going to be this time around. I needed to allow myself to let go. Let go of the control I thought I should be able to maintain over him. That is what it boils down to really.

I have to remember, he is a grown man... he is not my man... he can make his own decisions, choices and have control over his life... I can let go of that, he will not fall (and if he does it's not my responsibility)

I was walking out the steps at my sister's tonight, in the middle of a snowstorm to go home to... I didn't know what I was coming home to. I slipped down the stairs and fell on my ass. My right side is hurting pretty bad. I wanted to cry, but it wasn't because of the pain of falling. It was more for the fear of what I don't know... what was I coming home to?

As I walked into a dark house... not too much is different, other than Mike isn't here. Then I walk into my bedroom... There is no trace of Mike in my room.

I know I'm excited and happy about my choice of being free to live my life by my design... but tonight there is a sadness, that I don't want to express until Jessica is in bed. The sadness is right below the surface. It is a close to something I have had in my life since I was 17 yrs old... that is 15 years... almost half of my life.

And it comes into my awareness as I speak with Sarah tonight on the phone... my fall at my sister... my fear of falling on my ass... this was an old fear... one that doesn't serve me this time around... but was creeping up to see how it felt.

Don't need it... I am fully capable and free to be.

Living my life by my design...

Falling? eh, won't be happening again.

Tomorrow is the first day of this new chapter of my life.

Compelling Conversations

Shaping our Future... this to me is a mark I wish to leave on this world.

Not only am I willing to shape my own future, but I want other women to realize that they too can shape whatever they will expreince in life.

Shaping our Future... this is very much about me, about me choosing to create the world I want, and what I want for my children.

Not willing to let others decide for me, speak for me, choose for me or plan my life for me, to create, to inspire, to be free to choose.

Shaping our Future... this is also about standing up for yourself, for what you know is right deep down within the very depths of your being.

Not willing to be silent and let others do things to you, to the people you love, taking control of all of that by finding and expressing voice.

Shaping our Future... it is something all of us wish to do. We all do it is small ways already, think about it.

Think about the ways you have already created things in your life, by choosing to speak or by choosing to remain silent.

Allow yourself to imagine just what kind of future we can shape, if we put our awareness and intention into it.

Mind boggling isn't it?

I'm looking forward to some really compelling conversations tonight at the first Shaping our Future - Women's Leadership Series being held tonight.

Can you feel the excitement?

Freedom in February - Living Authentically

I have declared Freedom in February... freedom to allow the essence of who I am to flow, in all aspects of my life.

To no longer feel I have to be smaller that I am to try to fit my perception of someone elses belief of who I should be.

To stand up for what I know I need and deserve in life.

To be heard. To be listened to. To be loved for me not because of what role I play.

To have fun. To laugh. To talk. To share.

This is what I will have in my life, from day to day... because I choose it.

Freedom in February... I'm living large.