Somethings Got To Give

So after my week of feeling stretched to the limit pre-Huna; I once again find myself tense and short tempered. Somethings got to give.

I know I have been doing two jobs right now at work... and also working on a major project, I am finding that I don't have time to leave my desk to get a glass of water or go to the bathroom because I am too busy. Somethings got to give.

I come home and I am a mother of 2 children, I am a spouse who is in the middle of selling a home and searching for a new one. I am involved with the School Advisory Council and I have a demanding and sick 3 year old and a independent and moody 12 year old. Both bring me great joy... but when I am already worn out... somethings got to give.

I am the President of my union local, I know I contribute greatly, I am interested in the work I do and what I can offer... it is just one more thing on my work schedule... somethings got to give.

I volunteer... no kidding... I have alot to say and I care about the way I want my world, workplace and community to be shaped... this is not an issue... merely another thing I am trying to fit into my work schedule... somethings got to give.

What's got to give? What can't I handle? Why do I beat myself up or think I am less then if I feel I cannot handle all of this? Why does speaking up and saying this isn't working for me still feel like I'm failing something or someone??? Somethings got to give.

Here is what I know now. Nothing is going to give unless I give it up for someone else to do. I need to speak with some people at work and discuss some of my workload, because as I write the most tenseness in my body is when I write about the project or 2 jobs. I know what's got to give... my stubbornness.

To stand in myself and speak up to what is meaningful to me. Not taking on a task or pushing back does not make me less then or a failure. What it is doing is setting an example of knowing when to say know and that it is okay to do so.

I am exhausted. I need some sleep. Taking a nice bath and curling up in bed for the night.

Tomorrow.. what is it going to bring me? Some relief as I am going to express myself.

There is always more.