Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a child was moving, nor the cat, nor the man. The presents were wrapped and all set under the tree, I have showered, I am comfy, I am writing, I am me.

What is different about this Christmas Eve? First and formost I am, instead of sitting here wondering if I have bought enough gifts I am sitting here anticipating the joy on the childrens faces in the morning.

Every year on Christmas Eve a man dressed up as Santa Claus drives around each street with a police escort. Santa rides in the back of a white pick up truck that is completely decked out with Christmas lights and he always has at least one elf helping him. Santa waves to the children who come out of their homes on wait on the side of the road for him to pass, he clangs his bell and he gives a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho. His elf makes sure to throw candy canes on the lawn so they don't break and away they go to continue to spread the cheer in the neighbourhood, to get the children just a little bit more excited for their special visitor during the night.

I remember a few years back there was one Christmas when Jessica and I were living at my mothers house. The Christmas before she got a Rudolf Reindeer toy that played music and had a nose that lit up to the tune. We had lost that reindeer in our latest move and being Christmas Jessica was upset about that.

I looked through all of our packed belongings and found him, however I held on to him and didn't tell Jessica I found him.... while we waited on the side of the road for Santa's drive by arrival that Christmas Eve at my mothers house, when Jessica was so excited and on the look out for Santa to drive by, very much distracted by the sirens and the anticipation of Santa's Pick Up coming around the corner, I slipped in the house and grabbed that reindeer and set him on the porch steps and returned to Jessica's side, waving at Santa as he drove by.

When we turned to go back into the house and Jessica started walking up the stairs she couldn't beleive her eyes. Right there at the top of the steps was Rudolf waiting for her. Well she thought it was a Christmas miracle, that Santa knew she lost her reindeer and he put him on the stairs for her to sleep with on Christmas Eve.

Tonight as we heard the sirens of the police escort in the distance, I got Sara dressed in her shoes and winter coat, we went outside and brought a few lawn chairs to the end of the driveway. Jessica came out to join us and we waited for Santa's arrival. Jessica kept talking to Sara about Santa coming and going to give them a treat, Sara was so excited to see him.

The sirens got louder and we began to see the lights of the police escort reflecting on the mini homes at the corner, and around came the police car... well Sara didn't like that too much, too noisy I suppose, up on my lap she goes.

And then what before my very eyes do I see, but a jolly old man in the back of a F150. And Sara looked in awe and Jessica was all smiles, a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho and away they go. Sara scrambled off my lap to get her candy cane off the lawn. Then she got brave and thanked Santa that was already turning off our street.

Jessica told me she remembered the time with the Reindeer and she still doesn't know for sure how it happened. She told me tonight that even though I said it was me who did it she doesn't beleive me. She swears in her memory that my mother and I were right there beside her the whole time and we couldn't have done it. And that makes me smile. Although this is Jessica's second Christmas not beleiving in Santa Claus... she still belives in magic. And that is pretty awesome.

So just what is different within me this year? I know that this year Christmas holds pure joy. The joy of my youngest child when she sees the tree and the gifts under it. The joy of my eldest child, who is still so excited for the morning, who belives in magic. The joy I have with Mike, to know we both did our best to provide a Christmas for the kids this year and knowing our love for each other is gift enough in our own lives. The joy I have deep within myself, the joy of knowing, the joy of living, the joy of unbounded freedom, the joy of simply being me.

So for each of you who are celebrating this holiday, my wish for you is Joy. And for those who are not celebrating this holiday, my wish for all of us is to find a place within ourselves, that sacred space, where we can remember the pure joy of walking in a warm summers thunderstorm dancing in the rain, or walking down a dark cold road, looking up and catching snowflakes on your tounge, or of watching the sun rise or set so beautifully on the horizen.

Joy within pure and unabashed.

Peace

Evolution by Intention

During lunch hour today I am browsing the local online newspaper and I come across this article about Komodo Dragons…

In this article they talk about how this female Komodo dragon, raised in captivity, has become pregnant. Fascinating… not so much however when you take into consideration that this female dragon has never come in contact with a male Komodo, it kicks it up a notch.

So this pregnant Komodo Dragon is the second known case of parthenogenesis in this species. The first female Komodo Dragon became pregnant (with out use of a male) earlier in the year in a different zoo.

So as I’m reading this there are thoughts of the 100th Monkey going through my head… how one day a monkey began to wash his food in the water and the next monkeys all around the world began doing so. Thoughts of the Evolution by Intention™ flood into my consciousness.

I can see now how we absolutely have the power to manifest our destinies as we see fit. I can see now how a shift in consciousness can change the world. The immense CLICK that has happened within me today is just getting my curiosity and energy levels back up, the excitement is again building.

And there is always more…

Still Whispering...

My thoughts have been caught up with preparing for the holiday season... yet somewhere deep within are the whispers to continue to write my book. "The Myth of the Intact Family"* still is demanding my attention.

Ever since leaving the Whispers from Within writing workshop I have been longing to be back at Oceanstone (or at least not having to worry about my "real life"). If only I could stay at home and write, whenever the urge came upon me.

Another reason why I can't wait for Christmas... I am going to be off for 11½ glorious days... my intention for this time is to write every time Sara is down for her naps. Make a nice hot tea and have me time... to remember... to explore... to discover... to grow, and to continue writing my book about my "family".

I will enjoy my time off. And I hope to accomplish much with my writing... and still enjoy my time with my girls and family.

My whispers are there, waiting for me to engage with them again, what wonderful things will come of it? Who knows! This is what I love most about this journey of my life, there is always more.

* "The Myth of the Intact Family" is my tentative title for my book.

Christmas time is here

Okay I must admit, I've got the Christmas bug. Although flat broke I am excited and happy inside. My 2½ yr old has picked up most of the words of "Jingle Bells" and breaks out into song unexpectedly. I love it!

My 11 yr old has bought gifts for many of her friends and family this year, on her own... this is the first year I don't have the slightest clue what she got for anyone. It will be fun to see. She is one happy girl too!

Friends are dropping in, we are getting together more, having lunch, brunch, or just coffee.

The work choir has been singing almost daily in the atrium so you can hear the sounds of Christmas ripple through the building.

Co-workers are bringing in baked goods and leaving them out for everyone to enjoy, taking time to talk and have a laugh together.

Life is grand. Tomorrow is our work Pot-Luck / Children's Party, 7 floors and over 400 employees = one heck of a lot of left overs. I've called a few of the local homeless shelters and soup kitchens to see if they will accept our left overs... and they were overjoyed a the possibility. I hope that many of the floors in the building follow suit and donate their left overs to those who will truly appreciate them.

Judgment...

Have you ever been told how to raise your kids? I have by my mother recently, did it ever get my fire moving. I let her know that I realize her intentions are good and I will let her know or ask her for her opinion/input if I want it.

I know within my self I am done dancing that dance with her. I have my own family, and I am making decisions on how I am going to raise them...

This brought up a very interesting topic for me to explore. Judgement.

I for one, judged single mothers / people on welfare and did not even want to think of them, this is because they were an aspect of my consciousness.

I was a single mother for a number of years... and I was on welfare for a very long time. I held shame for relying on others for so long and for asking for help from family.

I had to get rid of the shame, and when I did... I can look at the people I once judged and see their brilliance and potential.

In the new year I am going to create a space through a workshop where I will invite those who are experiencing difficulty in their lives to come to realize and explore their potential. I am very excited about this! :o)

So now I wonder... if find yourself judging someone... is a reflection of yourself?

Hmmm, interesting thoughts to ponder...

Always Question...

Another poem from my friend Sarah (posted below). Reading her words made me stop and consider... why do we still continue to dance these dances... these things only keep us small. And having the courage to question these things, creates a bigger space within for new insights and information to flow.

Let's continue to question everyday... and for things I think I am done with, I will continue to question within myself every once and a while, because they will now have a new context and new meaning... it will hold new answers and insights for me.

Questions to be Asked

by sarah witherell

What creates a need to hide behind a mask?
Pretending......does it really cover up a past?

At what point does fear come into a body to reside?
when does a person convince themselves it neccesary to hide?

Exactly who created each of societies set of rules?
That whether obeyed or disobeyed make us look like fools?

How long will it take, for all of us to engage?
Only then will we create the space to break down world rage.

Decloaking Signals

Decloaking... it can be as big as you want it to be. Or as small as you want it to be. You can decloak in increments or allow yourself to stand exposed in an instant.

Time is a nominalization... Timing is what is right for the individual... the way you decloak is what is right for the individual. For some it is to stand raw, totally exposed in their unabashed brilliance for all to witness. For others it is just to revel in the deep knowing within themselves of just who they authentically are.

My time is now, I prefer going big and doing it instantly. For myself I find when I have the insights that bring the deep knowing of my authentical self (Signal #1) I cannot kept that silent. If i choose to slience my Self.... I begin to get a sore throat. My bodies way of telling me I must decide... am I going to choose to be weeny and not let anyone see this True Self? Or am I going to let it fully take over my being, welcome it, create the space for it to remain... and engage?

When I am engaging from my signal # 1, I know I am powerful, I am brilliant, I feel as if I can take on the world. When engaging from my signal # 1 I feel glorious, I am happy, I am filled with love and compassion. When I am engaging from my signal # 1 I can see the brilliance in you. Everyone I meet, I recognize they are brought into my awareness for a reason and that reason is almost always an invitation for me to consider some aspect of myself.

What I must work on for myself is to remain conscious of how it feels to be speaking and acting from my authentic self and choose in the "now" to create the space for me to live like that more and more often. As I write these words I know that if I choose to live this way my life will be immense, unlimited, unbounded and meaningful. As I choose to just BE.

Tis the Season

Tis the season for hustle and bustle. Tis the season for lending and spending. Tis the season for laughing and singing. Tis the season for family.

So the whole holiday season, especailly Christmas is so commercialized isn't it? Kids who don't get as much (if anything) are made to feel by their peers that they are less than. Perhaps not with malice but it always was a competition in a way, what did you get for Christmas? That's it? Well I got... etc.etc. and so is the dance of I'm better than you. No more dances of the sugar plum fairy I'm afraid.

So yes, I dance this dance again this year for the sake of my 11 yr old who must have an MP3 player. My spouse and I do not exchange gifts anymore (not in any grand sense) a pair of slippers and a treat, a little something to unwrap and open. We realize that this year we have other priorities for our finances. My sister and I do not exchange gifts, we buy for eachothers kids and even then we need to start to put a price limit on that.

One recent conversation I have with my sister she asked me what I got my kids for Christmas. I told her (it was 2 gifts each), she asked what else I was getting them... I didn't have any intention of getting them anything else this year, it just wasn't in our budget. So last night after a family dinner, my sister told me what she got my 11 yr old... so much more than we usually buy for each others kids. She said it was because she knew we weren't able to go all out this year... sweet, generous and loving.

Yet up pops flashes of feelings that I know no longer serve me... guilt, inadequacy, shame, worry (dead horses). I worried that what her kids might feel upset because I only got small gifts for the 2 oldest ones, I worried about what the family would think of me not buying my kids lots of things and seeming to rely on the charity of others, totally not the case, however that is my filter and story of how others will react. Funny how the holiday season can make you feel like you thought you never would again. Everyone has their best intentions, yet someones filters or strategies will alway put a different spin on it.

So this year I choose. I choose not to let my filters, strategies, or dead horses stand in my way of the pure joy and magic of this season. As the majority of the world I interact with chooses to celebrate Christmas, I will do the same, as it is a tradition that still serves me... I will just be rid of the bullshit that comes along with it.

One more week until Christmas Eve... one more night of wrapping presents... 2 more Christmas parties... 15 more Christmas Cards... then over a week off to enjoy... to relax... to play with my girls... to write some more of my book... to just be.

A Poem by a Friend

My very good friend wrote the following poem about her Awakening and her experiences with WEL-Systems, since taking ITS in November.

She gave me permission to share this powerful poem. Some of you have met her, some haven't yet. Enjoy her words as the ripple through your body.

I became....
By Sarah Witherell

Judgement has always been my life curse
Always questioning what others might think first

Tissue becomes hard
Rigid with fear
Motionless by rules
I BECAME.... SMALL

Searching for happiness was my life quest
Oblivious to the fact that I did know best

Angry at world
Powerless sets in
Desperate to find peace
I BECAME....SICK

Visiting the doctor not really knowing what to say
I came out with a diagnosis and pills, so she could get paid

Restlessness eases
Life force diminishes
Control over emotions
I BECAME.... STATIC

Continued to search everywhere for my identity
Couldn’t help but feel like a victim of our society

Searching intensified
Spirit woke up
Body shook
I BECAME... SCARED

In the midst of despair I opened a new door
To my surprise I found questions, friends and more

Movement vibrated
Tingling became intense
Processing created insights
I BECAME.... SARAH

Although I have known my life has been changed from this time last year through the Women's Leadership Program and subsequently the WEL-Systems programs. This one poem for me really spoke to the immense power we all have to claim back our lives if we just allow ourselves to consider.

Holographic Universe???

So this is very interesting. I've been feeling deprived and disconencted due to not being able to connect at home (see previous post re Dis...connected). Dissappointed that I can not continue writing my book right now because I don't have a working computer at home... and wait a minute... this is a holographic universe... I belive tht my thoughts, attitude and actions have a direct impact on my abilities to shape my future... I can make it happen damn it! LOL

So I am at work and thinking I am going to bring home the laptop again so I can continue writing and thought... I should check my blog (for whatever reason) I did and I discovered my work no longer has this blocked... I can post... from work.

I'm not sure how long this is going to last, but I thought I'd take the opportunity. I am posting and I will no longer allow myself to be limited by things I PERCIEVE as limiting me... boundless...

Art Workshop Wednesday

We are about to embark on a day of discovery through Art... I'm not sure what type of art we will be creating, what mediums, what context. I know that I am done with the horse, chapter, circles of guilt and of shame. They no longer serve a purpose for me. I will gladly go and let them fall away effortlessly. I am curious as to what creations will extend out of my hand onto the paper. Which expression of myself will emerge? Who have I become to date and who will I become in my future? I can feel something big happening in my body, something huge will be emerging today. I am excited, anxious and waiting with baited breath... just what will be created as I know have space, once again.

SO what does this mornings creation mean? It began as my "name", as my "courage"... and it transformed into this fantastic powerful flow of movement. Courage is sourced by something more, the blend into the field coming through the core into the word "Courage" feeding it and allowing it to flow through the body of my work and back out into the universe, fed from the dark strength that is transforming into light as it returns to the field. Lots of movement with the sea, It takes me back to one of my first experiences of being in the field during a white feather induction I think with Celine & Cathy, I lost myself and was looking at a fish floating in a body of water, it was a bright fish the surrounding water was dark and isolated.

Today the first image I was drawn to was that of a fish, immense and colourful in the dark water, however along the edges of the water there was other fishes, much smaller, camouflaged almost, and ever present. For me it meant I could be large, immense and colourful, I can be seen as standing alone, yet remain mindful that there is others who are around me, with whom I am ever connected with.

The second image I choose still had the sea around it although I didn't recognize this until recently. It is that of a raven on top of a rock outcropping, majestic and standing alone as a beacon for others to see.

The rock I chose, I chose from afar because of the attractiveness of the out croppings, the nooks and crannies... and as I came close enough I come to see Shit... it is actually a piece of coral... again with the sea.
The sea. The sea represents immensity, fluidity, movement, the field. It represents all of that and more. The sea can be loud and rough, the sea can be calm and quiet. The sea supports life, the sea can also take it. The sea has continual movement, the endless ebb and flow of the tide, the waves crashing upon the shore, or lapping on the shore at times. But always moving, never the same yet is always familiar.

I have come to really love the pencil sketch that has come out of Lori's Courage... and the other art I created during the day. As a good friend of mine has been known to say..."Who Knew?".

Leona was very present this week through out the Whispers from Within Women's Writing Retreat, on my holodeck and that of others. Her beautiful poetry, songs and stories she shared with many of us on Sunday evening before this retreat began still are rippling through my consciousness. So as she once intended to be here this week... although not physically present, her essence has definitely been popping up through this week.

Today was a day of discovery. A day to feel the energy move though my hands and manifest as beautiful creations on the page in front of me... Creations that I am definitely going to hang up for display at home. After today I feel that there is creativity in all of us, and one of the tricks to bring it out is to focus on one word that holds deep meaning for you and expand on it. It was truly amazing to see the magnificent pieces all of the women created, I look forward to continuing with this medium as well as with words.

Today I found the creative me, the me that reveled in the sound of the graphite on the paper, the me that smudged and blended with my fingers, the me that used my nails to remove excess wax. I played, I created, I expressed, I enjoyed, I laughed, I felt, I moved, I am.
Tomorrow is unknown. And I am again so excited to see who I will become tomorrow.

Mortality and Chapters

Guilt is a chapter in my life that is closed and done with. It no longer serves me any purpose. It just keeps me small and casts doubt within myself. Most of the guilt I had was based on learned behaviors, church (Catholic upbringing), ties in with the family guilt based on catholic values. The other guilt stemmed from knowing now, what I didn't know before and seeing how I could have been doing things differently. And that is the past, not the present or the future so again this is something that no longer serves me. I know by being rid of this chapter (or dead horse), I will create the space to be truly present to what is going on and to truly be awake when I am with my children, spouse, family, co-worker. I can dance a different dance with them, one that is lighter (a dead horse is quite cumbersome you know).

Shame is a chapter of my life that has recently come into my consciousness. And all be it a short visit with Shame this is one chapter that I know I do not need around as it truly holds nothing for me that will take me into my future. To close this chapter I can visit these things that I hold as shameful, let them rumble through my being and metabolize the messages they hold for me. This is a chapter I want to close, this is also homework for me tonight. To allow Shame to rumble through my cells, each of the points I listed under the title. And see how each feels in each Chakra. Let my body do the work, be done with it, claim it, own it, and complete that chapter of my life. Shame is a powerful word for me, one that I don't want to listen to anymore.

As I am tasked to think about Mortality, I think about the ebb and flow of all that is energetic life. I reflect on the ebb and flow in the context of mortality. How one chapter must end for the next chapter to begin. A chapter must end... or a new one can not begin. They story can never get told if we get stuck in chapter one.

So already I can reflect on different chapters in my life that have completed themselves. The old Lori Walton from a year ago is no longer present in this body as I do not and never will hold myself to be that person anymore. That was a person who didn't have a voice, no self esteem, was unhappy, unworthy and stupid (to name but a few), some new words that I would use for my old self are lost, asleep, comatose at times. This is definitely not who I am now, nor who I will ever be in my emerging future.

When you close a chapter of your life, much like revealing a secret, you feel lighter, more at ease, more powerful, more free. I keep saying own it, claim it, engage. I can see how these phrases can relate in so much of my unfolding self.

So a song has just come into my consciousness called "The Power of Goodbye" by Madonna and the words that jumped out at me were "Freedom comes when you learn to let go, Creation comes when you learn to say no... you were my lesson, I had to learn... I was your fortress you had to burn, pain is a warning that somethings wrong" Now if that is not a metaphor for Mortality, for closing chapters in your life, what the fuck is? Freedom comes as you complete a chapter, story or journey, creation comes when you say no to dancing that same dance. The chapter once served a purpose it was my lesson, I was the vessel for the fire to burn, and the pain is a warning that we need to pay attention!

Well I must say that summed it up beautifully for me. So now I rumble around with shame... and as I close these two chapters Guilt & Shame tonight, who knows who I will wake up as tomorrow?

Boundless - Bounded Edition

If I were to leave this body today, what I am, who I have become and who I know I have not yet revealed.

I am huge. I am immense. I am god. I have the capacity to become anything I wish. I am a woman (which was the vessel of my choice). Being a woman has given me my own unique sound. I have a unique power, with passion and spirit. I shape my world, I manifest my future.

I am a force to be reckoned with... yet I will not be swayed by your opinions of me.

I want others to know they have all of this within themselves. I want them to know they are able to shape their own models of the world. If they awaken to the power of their personal potential, "Just who can I become"?

I know as each day passes by, each hour, each minute, I am more than I was.

The Whispers from Within need only to be claimed in your consciousness to own. They will no longer be a nagging feeling somewhere in the pit of your soul. When you claim it into your consciousness you become very clear on it if it truly resonates for you.

As I struggled with decloaking to my spouse... what I was really struggling with was a Whisper from Within.

What I knew I had to say to him, was something I hadn't yet said to myself... and by wanting to decloak to my spouse I would actually have to own it and claim it for me... scary stuff.

whisper... whisper...

The clarity of claiming it in my body... well at least silently by writing it down on paper. Speaking it out loud is a whole different ball game. I gathered my strength and stepped out of my box and told him what I needed him to hear. And lo and behold, my relationship did not fall apart, the world did not crumble as I feared it would. And now it leads me to consider, how important I felt it was for us to be married. For 12 years I have thought this is something I needed from him to prove himself to me... really it was all about my insecurities.

Marriage... marriage is not what I need where I had held a belief for so long this is what I wanted this is what I needed to be complete. This belief does not serve me any longer. Marriage may not be where I want to go right now.

What does marriage (a nominalization) mean to me? Commitment, love, safety & security (in companionship), makes it difficult to leave, bound, not free... yet free. Co-parent, co-create, live, love, free to travel, without guilt. I love him, I am enveloped by his presence, I am comfortable with him... and does that mean we need to be Married???

Can we go along with a marriage respecting each other fully and not losing ourselves? I will not again lose myself, become less than, be small... because I am immense, I am huge, and you can NOT change me. I will not allow myself to be anything but my authentic, evolving self.

I want people (me) to know the bounds they hold true for themselves (myself) are only "held" there by themselves (myself). We are boundless... (I am boundless...) We are limitless... (I am limitless...) I can be free, if I choose to be.

I inspire others, much like I am inspired by others.

I engage in life fully, in a life that holds passion and meaning for me.

I speak my truth, unabashed and unapologetically, as I know my voice can make a difference.

I take up space, I am huge, I am immense, my energy is big and I love it!

I break the thin ice on the puddle just to hear that sound of pure joy from my past.

I stuck out my tongue and tasted the first snowfall of the year, and sang, and smiled in the dark, cold night.

The sound of the fire crackling and popping is inviting. The warmth from the hearth is soothing. I feel so comfortable, I am home. I am god. I am me. I am free.

Are you being served?

My stomach was knotting up, my throat was dry like it has never been before in the past... right from the back of my mouth down into my chest into my power chakra. I knew I needed to read "Boundless" out loud to the women in this room, to decloak.

I can't believe it... yes I can. I revealed my most deepest, darkest, secret to this group of women... and it wasn't so bad.

I didn't get laughed at, they didn't get up and leave appalled and disgusted, I didn't die from shame and humiliation. Again, this is a boundary that I imposed upon myself with my worry and concern over society's hang ups. What other people think of me is not my business... except for when I make it my business...bounds...limitations... boundaries... boxes.

Man, I talk a good talk and I still have / created boxes in my life. Boxes I built to keep in and control the shame and humiliation I imagined there would be, if I really decloaked and let everyone see the real me.
I don't need boxes in my life. I don't want, won't allow myself to be bound any longer. Just get over myself and get on with it. Live it. Claim it. Own it. Engage.

Where else in my life am I hanging onto something, box, bound, strategy, label... that is taking up space and not allowing room for growth?

What can I get rid of that no longer serves me?

Shame...

Guilt...

Silence...

An Inconvenient Truth

Wow, just finished Watching An Inconvenient Truth. What an eye opener. The Density and Intensity of the whole world is just tangible... waiting for people to wake up! And engage!

This is a metaphor for how I feel about women in leadership... this journey I am on now. I know that we need to awaken. Awaken to our own potential, awaken to our own brilliance, awaken the possibility, inevitability's really of more.

Come to know the real true magnificent being I truly am and by claiming, owning it, living it, the world shifts.

If enough of us become awake and hear our authentic sound, and live it... the world as we know it will cease to be and a whole new future will unfold before our very eyes.


This shift of consciousness has occurred in the past, Al Gore depicted many examples of it in our history in this film... it will occur again. I know it needs to occur "now" and I know I can play a role in manifesting this.

As I was watching this film the notes I jotted down as important enough for me to jot down were when Al Gore was talking about all of the natural disasters happening in the world recently, floods, droughts, fires, Hurricanes, Tsunamis... he made a statement that I wrote down, "...nature hike through the book of revelations" That statement stuck with me. It was very profound and really served to convey the sense of intensity and seriousness of the issue.

The one major statement that keeps drifting in my consciousness is from the Declaration of Intention... "If not me, who?"

This has always attracted me. In my journey this past year in particular. If I wait around for my future to happen, it is going to happen to me... If I get up and act, in whatever way is meaningful to me, I will shape my future.


The other thing Al Gore said that resonated with me was when he was talking about being a boy before he knew the difference between fun and work... I wrote "There doesn't need to be a difference between fun and work". This leads to a whole other conversation that I have recently begun to explore... how much would it suck if you defined yourself by your work?

As I have come to "know" my own self... my authentic self, I have also come to know, my work does not define me... I define my work. I know that I can do wonderful things in my department, things I am passionate about, engaging in shaping my model of the world. I am also mindful of if there is ever a time when my department no longer creates space to sustain me moving through my world authentically, I know my story will continue elsewhere.


Who knows where my future leads... for now I know it is within the department I am, I have something unique to offer, me. The decloaked me, standing alone, stepped out of my box never to be put back in, fully aware of the power of my unlimited potential and I can see, the brilliance within you... I am calling on it, looking for some more playmates who will awaken and discover their authentic voices and call back "I'm here, I'm awake, I'm shaping my life not allowing others to shape it for me".

My journey is still very young... the excitement I felt at the beginning of it is still very prevalent... it is just bigger now. There is always more, and thank god for that...

Create the Space, Invite... Allow... Awaken

Koffi Annan, recent Secretary General, United Nations said "The future of the world depends on Woman"

I know this to be true. For me I realize that women have a unique voice, a unique style of moving through the world. When a woman speaks with her authentic voice, speaking her truth, from signal # 1... there is passion and powerin her message. People see this... People hear this... People stop and listen... The message that woman is conveying will resonate with many... and in an instant the world begins to shift.

"The future of the world depends on woman" I know this, Koffi Annan knows this... Do you?

Over the past 10 months I have spent a lot of time with women's leadership... exploring leadership in general, I have become very passionate about Woman's Leadership and inviting others to awaken and become curious to the potential they too hold. This is what has driven me to speak at events, create the space to let my voice be heard, to write my articles.

For me, leadership is not about money, status, rank or position. I know you don't need any of these things to be a leaders. I don't have any of these things and I know I am a leader. To me, leading is not about being superior or having followers. Leading is about Igniting... Engaging... and Inspiring others to claim their unique sound, to know their truth and speak their authentic voice, to make a mark in their own world, however they choose.

I invite you to consider, not only your unique style of leading... but consider how much space do you create for those around you to claim their voice, to co-create with you and to grow?

This is part of my speech I gave at the Women's Leadership Learning Event I chaired for my department. On Friday Morning approximately 45 women gathered for this learning event "Developing our Leadership - Exploring our Potential". I had Cathy Carmody & Celine Burlock come into facilitate a morning of exploration based from a WEL-Systems perspective. I think everytime I listen to women engage in this context, or I read over the material, something new clicks for me. I get a clearer and better understanding of one of the models or a different way in which I can apply it.

I would have loved to have positioned myself in a different way in the room to really watch the women as some of them began to awaken. When I got back to the office in the afternoon I had 3 people stop me to talk about WEL-Systems, Huna or my expierence in all of this. I received 7 e-mails in the 2 hrs I was at my computer that followed the event. The ripples have turned to waves... the Tsunami is coming.

I am off to Oceanstone again tomorrow for another week (this time vacation/Writing Retreat), purely for pleasure, and another week with Louise LeBrun. I wonder who I will be when I return this time?

Hoping I will have to ability to post while I am there.