Engaging and Awakening Others

Wow, what a first day of the Engaging program.

Here is what I am feeling.

I am feeling an intensity in these programs.

I am feeling an excitement in these programs.

I am feeling such a strong pull of WHO I AM wanting to come out and engage in these programs.

Here is what I know... I am much bigger than I allow myself to be.

Do you know what I mean?

How many times in our lives do we NOT do something or NOT say something because that is not what "good girls", "good kids" or "good employees" do. Or that is something that you don't want to do if you "want to get ahead". So we keep ourselves smaller than we know we are.

For me I discovered today if I trust in myself and engage fully and meaningfully (to me) in what I am passionate about I will create so much more than I already am.

I discovered today that I held a fear about being "too big for my britches".

I held a fear if I truly allowed myself to step out of the box and create what I feel pulled to create that I may fail.

And it isn't failing that is scaring me... it is that what will my parents (mother) think?

I found out today that some aspect of me is still seeking approval from her. Not approval to allow me to do something but for her to be proud of what I am creating. I was afraid that if I failed I would get a "I told you so". Hmm. Funny that.

It shows how deeply ingrained into our cells this culturally conditioned self is.

And who knows what is true about my mother? I don't, I am not her.

So the question for me actually lies in, do I trust myself to create and SUCCEED in what I am passionate about?

Am I truly resourceful enough to stand alone in what I am creating?

Am I willing to let go of this fear that was allowing me to keep myself small?

Am I willing to be who I know I AM... fully... not this puny being I have kept myself as for 30 years but this full manifestation of expression of who I AM in this world... brilliant (much like you)

I'm ready. I'm game. Bring it on... I'm ready to continue to create my future. I'm ready to fully engage, all of me, my signal #1 in full force without fear... (I think)

I AM... and tomorrow is yet another day. (it's only Monday)