Dead Horses

I began my day today very agitated, I felt rushed, I felt angry, I felt frustrated, and I was blaming someone else for all of these feelings. On the ferry I began to journal, to write about this and I come to realize I am dragging around a dead horse.

When it comes to being a daughter I still hold certain perceptions of what the “mother/daughter” relationship should be. I hold my mother responsible for some aspects of my life that I would never do to someone else. So when I take away the title of “mom” for just a moment, the anger, frustration and agitation I carried in my body fell away.

I would never dream of relying on say “Jane Doe” to make sure my life runs smoothly. To ensure I get to work on time. So how dare I lay this hang up on my “mom”?

So this whole “mother/daughter” dynamic is a two way street. Who Knew? (Leona maybe)

Sometimes the Mother end of the continuum needs to let go and sometimes the Daughter end of the continuum needs to let go… or perhaps we can just co-exist as human Beings.

Yes, I like number 3 the best. Why not be rid of this dead horse “Parent” once and for all. After all I am 31 years old; I no longer need to be “Mothered”. Just as I am sure my xx year old Mother would be happy to be rid of some of the weight of the dead horse “Child” (who wants a 31 yr old child anyway).