The Lioness Emerges

What a challenge and invitation this evening was for both myself and my 11 yr old daughter. The primal instinct of wanting to protect my young arose, the lioness emerged, the fire was claimed.

Tonight I was at my mother house for supper. My eldest daughter was playing outside with her friends playing around as 11 and 12 yr old do. My daughter's friend came running to my mothers house out of breath from running over, told me the "crazy" guy across the street was in Jessica's face yelling at her and making her cry. I asked where she was, he said on her way over here (to my mom's) with her 2 girlfriends who were also crying.

The 3 girls arrived and by the state of them I asked them all to come in so I could find out what was going on. The 4 of them told their story of being seen with the "wrong" group of kids and because Jessica was known by this "man" she received his wrath.

Now I can understand being upset and frustrated with vandalism, our own vehicle got broken into 3 weeks ago. Even if our daughter did it (which eyewitnesses say she did not) he has no right to get up in an 11 year old girls face, while she was by herself, and intimidate and threaten her. She had even told the "man" who they felt was responsible. She tried to walk away and saw her girlfriend and called them over to her where this "man" proceeded to yell at all 3 girls.

So I have 3 girls crying in my mothers living room and a boy who is feeling very protective and angry. These kids have not gotten into any trouble before, I for one can vouch for my daughter who often is teased by her peers because of our rules on curfew, phone calls, and not being allowed to go outside after dark, she has also recently won recognition from her school as student of the month for being a "role model" for her peers.

This girl is one who gets worried about her friends / extended family members doing something they shouldn't be an telling me about it (i.e. my mother smoking cigarettes last summer).

So I called Mike and told him about this. I told him the possibility of the police coming (which we were all happy to speak to about the incident, including Jessica). Mike was furious that this "man" got in his daughters face, and I asked that he not say anything until I got home to discuss it.

No such luck. Mike pulled into our driveway and in the mirror saw the 2 "men" coming over to confront him. So Mike took his time and took a few long deep breaths to stabilize himself. Opened the door and the "men" started right away. Mike said "I will talk first" the kept jabbering. He again repeated "I will talk first and if not I am going in my house". They stopped and Mike said "I don't care what happened right now, unless you caught my daughter in the act itself you have NO RIGHT what so ever to confront an 11 year old girl with out her parent there. You can certainly call the police, or wait until me or my wife got home but you are to NEVER approach my daughter again." God I wish I was there.

After we were done eating (at mom's) we came home and engaged in a conversation with Jessica as a family. Eventually the police pulled up at the neighbours house. Mike was outside having a cigarette and the police politely (seeing someone standing around) asked how it was going. Mike said fine until I found out this man confronted my 11 yr old child when she was by herself.

The police engaged with the neighbors then one came over to speak with us. Mike expressed his concerns about the confrontation with Jess, I expressed my concerns over having 3 girls crying in my mothers house. Then we both shut up and allowed Jessica to speak.

Beautiful brave Jessica. Speaking so eloquently from her truth. Bravely standing there engaging in such honest dialogue with this "officer" who kept trying to make her change her story. I sat there, biting my tongue as he kept saying, "that's great Jessica, now I really want you to tell me the truth" over and over again. Saying I'm going to be asking other people you know, are you sure you don't want to add anything. And I felt like screaming at him. How are you guys (the "good" guys) building any sort of rapport when you won't take an 11 year old's statement (5 times over) as fact for her truth. No wonder we become cynical so easily.

My tears are flowing now as I think the thing that is resonating the most is how we doubt our children's truth... yet it is often the most clear out of all the "truths" out there.